Stuck
by MaysileeAbernathy
Summary: After knowing Jacob's secret of being a werewolf, Bella doesn't believe that there's nothing normal anymore. When Jacob did the mistake of his life, a friend-slash-enemy hunts him down. Will everything still be the same for Jacob and Bella after that?
1. Preface

One gunshot for me. Just one then I'd be happy.

He held the gun tightly in his hand, fingers locked on the trigger. "Any last goodbye's to Jacob, Bella?" He asked with a sarcastic smirk on his face.

She didn't answer. Her heart beat was slower than mine. Wasn't she at all nervous or conscious that death was in front of her?

I didn't think that all of this would end this way. I didn't think that I get to live while the love of my life doesn't. It wasn't fair at all.

"Well?" He prompted, a set of impatient features present on his face. He was probably irritated that Bella said nothing at all. He gripped the gun tightly, ready to launch the trigger any second now. A wave of panic crushed me.

One irritating moan was let out by him After that, time began to slow.

He pulled the trigger, the bullet coming out. Next, the sound like a crack of thunder echoed in on us. I quickly looked at Bella and saw the sudden shock covering her features.

It was coming closer now; the bullet heading towards Bella's chest. Another wave of panic surged through me. It wasn't supposed to end like this for Bella. I won't let it.

"No!" I shouted out loud. I could feel the adrenaline rushing through m veins. Pain, panic, everything came crashing down on me.

I quickly dashed to where Bella was, shielding her from her undesired death. After that, everything suddenly stopped being slow.

Something entered my chest,—I could feel it—crushing some of my bones as I listened. I held onto my chest, keeping myself from falling apart. Something felt wrong; I looked at my hand as it signaled itself erroneously.

There it was. The proof of my dying existence was evident on my hand. The bullet struck me. A wave of horrible pain shot through me as I crumbled on the wet, damp ground. The pain was crushing me, chasing my consciousness away.

"Jacob! No, Jacob! Stay with me, I love you. Stay!" Bella cracked, tears flooded her eyes and poured down her pale cheeks.

_I'm here, _I wanted to tell her but I felt too weak to speak. Consciousness slipped way from me as the rain continued to consume me and pull me under.

My eyes closed shut going against my own will. I struggled and struggled but nothing happened. I fell into a black gaping hole that no one but pain could hold. I fell deeper and deeper until I could see nothing but darkness.


	2. 1 Prepare

I still loved Edward. I never changed my mind. That was a fact; rather, it was more of a promise—a promise I've sworn to myself.

_3:40AM_

"_Hello. My name is Edward Cullen. I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan." He said then lunged for my throat. _

Bad dream. _Bad dream. _It was only another episode of those bad dreams, just a new set of dreams that haunted me.

I could hear my own screams fade away in my dormant heart. . . as well as the break of my father's snoring in the other room. I was feeling sorry for him and myself. How bad it must be for him to wake up in the middle of the night because of me.

My battered heart beat painfully against my chest, wanting to tear itself away from me. _Take it away_, I thought. Just take it. . .

_4:30AM_

_"What do you want from me, Bella?"_

_My heart_. I want my heart that you've taken away.

I suppressed a sigh. That's the second episode of my bad dreams.

_6:03AM_

"_We're leaving."_

NO. Don't leave me. Stay.

_Too late, _a voice in my head said. _He's gone. _

It was six o'clock. Damn. I woke up late again. So I got up and got my attire from the shabby closet. I really wasn't in need of any attire, it just so happens that Renee heard about my own festivities. I despised wearing it; the tags made my eyes widen in horror. I just wanted to make Renee happy by using it as often as I can. It may give Charlie some peace of mind too.

I packed my bag and went down right after. It was already six-fifteen. It was a miracle that Charlie was still here.

I grabbed the bag of bread that I bought from the other day and grabbed some cheese spread. That ought to make my breakfast.

"Jacob?" Dad asked.

"Yes." I bit my piece of bread, chewing hurriedly.

"Running a bit late, aren't we?"

"Yes. I know. I have to go, Dad. See you later."

"Bye Bells." I brushed my teeth, grabbed my equipment—as well as my breakfast—and left.

The weather is going to be unusual today in Forks. I can feel it.

It had been all-rain for these past few weeks, and I was startled at today's weather. There was no visible sign of rainfall in the clouds, so that was good.

I didn't ride my truck today. The sports center was just near, a two-kilometer walk from here. I decided to walk. Maybe I could get myself some fresh air, not that I haven't been getting any lately.

I was finally a hundred meters from the sports center. I passed by Mike's parents' sports shop quickly. I tried to stay away from Mike after an incident at school. I disliked him for it. I didn't even hesitate to remember it.

"Hi Bella!" I suddenly imagined Mike having a dog tail, the way I thought of him during my first few days at Forks High.

"Hey Mike." I said sarcastically, but he didn't notice.

"How you doing?"

"Uhm, good. Uh, hey Mike, this is really gonna sound bum but—"

"What is it, Bella?"

"Hmm," should I tell him that he's irritating me to death? "I just have to go because I'm meeting Jacob somewhere. And I'm running really late."

"Jacob…." He tried recalling "Black? Oh . . . See you Bella."

"Bye Mike." I was already a few meters away from him when I said it. "Sorry Mike." I said lowly.

I walked quickly to the center, trying to compose myself because of Jacob waiting for me upstairs. He might be mad, I told myself.

_No, you idiot. He's not mad, _the voice in my head said.

And what do you think he's feeling?

_In love? Sick? Hungry? Oh come on Bella. I'm not Jacob. . . Don't be so stupid_, it said.

Shut up, just shut your mouth. You're getting on my nerves.

_Well, that's my job, you see,_ I could imagine her in my head, rolling her eyes.

I tried to tune out the voice in my head that has been driving me crazy.

When I reached the badminton courts, I saw three people standing there as if waiting for another player. I looked around for any sign of Jacob but I can't. . .

There he is. He's directly looking at me. I smiled at him and let my hair cover my face. I could feel my cheeks flaming.

I looked up and suddenly realized that he was the player that the three people were waiting for. One of them cleared their throat but Jacob didn't notice. I gestured for Jacob to walk towards the court. He snapped out of it and ran, raising his hand in apology.

_Oh, there's Jacob, Bella_, the voice in my head screamed.

Shut up.

_Fine, _she muttered.

He was blindingly strong for a werewolf, like he was a . . . vampire—a strong and fast vampire.

"Edward." I muttered to myself. What? Why was I talking about Edward again? I refused to think about him, even his kind I refused to talk about.

_"Be safe." The note read._

I'm not going to be safe. I'll be reckless . . . and stupid. I was bound to promises that were too many. There's nothing really wrong if I break just _one _promise—the promise that made me hold on to Edward But what hold did he have on me? Exactly.

Before I knew it, Jacob and his friends were done playing. He stooped near me and waved his hands in front of me as if I was being catatonic.

"What?" If I was standing, I could've jumped a mile.

"Late, aren't we?"

"Why does everyone keep on saying that?" I snapped, irritation coating my own voice.

"Woah, easy Bells. Come on, let's just play."

He pulled me by the hand towards the court. I took my racquet, which was surprisingly out of the bag. Badminton was fun. Time flew and I eventually liked sports. I remembered myself as a junior who was the "shiny new toy" and the one who detested sports.

I always felt safe when I was with him. I felt calm when I was with him, just as calm as I did when I was with Edward.

_Stop talking about Edward, _that little voice commanded again.

That's what I've been trying to do! Help me with this one, will you?

_Me? You want _me_ to help you? That's surprising_.

Please?

The voice never responded again. It was just me now. I sound like a lunatic right now, talking to an imaginary voice in my head. If I was conscious and smart enough, I'd realize that talking to myself mentally was bad for me.

The game passed breezily with me having no trouble. No clumsiness for today. I sighed with relief and chuckled at my thoughts.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," I chuckled again "it's just that I didn't feel the need to be so clumsy today."

"Jeez, Bella. That _is_ unusual." His forehead creased as if he was thinking so hard about this. "Never mind. Let's go."

"Where exactly are we going to go?" What? Where? _Why?_

"Seth, remember? I told you yesterday at school."

"Oh yeah, I remember. Come on, let's go now."

I changed my shirt and as always, Jacob was done first. He was too fast a werewolf.

"Have you paid already, Bella?" He was behind me.

"Uhm, no. They told me to pay later. So I guess later is now. Have you?"

"Yeah, I did. For two."

"You paid for me?" He just nodded. "Thanks Jake." I smiled a very big smile but I was sure that he didn't see it, but if he did it would just be a smirk to him.

"Yeah, anytime." He answered warmly.

It was still cloudy with no sign of rainfall, but it was cold—undeniably cold. I shivered and like a werewolf friend would, Jacob placed his hand on my arm. I instantly felt warm at his touch.

"I run a toasty one-oh-eight, Bella." He reminded me.

"Thanks Jake."

"Can we pass by my house first? These shoes are killing me."

"Yeah sure."

"And we're gonna use the bike."

"No way, Jake. Do you think Charlie will let me out if he finds out? And news flash Jake, Chief Swan knows everyone and everyone knows him. Better yet, the townspeople will see me riding with a younger insane boy. And best, he'll take out that license of yours."

"We don't need a license to ride a motorbike here at the reservation, Bella."

"I know. But consider my other reasons, Jake."

We continued walking side by side up to his house on the reservation. When I saw his house, the first thing I saw was Billy. He was out on the road.

"Crap. Oh great. Billy's here to add to my why-I-shouldn't-be-riding-with Jacob-on-a-motorcycle list."

"Yeah. He's washing a few things. Like. . . the dogs."

"You got dogs? Wow. So you have a companion now. A brotherly companion, sort off." And a distant relative too, I wanted to add. He let out a booming laugh that I think even Billy can hear one-hundred meters away.

"Yeah, guess you could put it that way Bells. But it's not ours. Our cousin from Makah decided to go on a holiday. He can't bring his dog. . .so, yeah."

Reaching his house, I saw Billy and said hi to him. I should be polite, after all I was simply visiting him since the last time I went up to him to talk after Jacob told me that Billy told him that I should break up with a… vampire.

I went inside, and it was always warm; like it has been my home instead of the Blacks. I sat down on the couch while he was grabbing a glass of water and doing what he was supposed to do, like getting into some slippers.

"Bella, you want some?" He raised his glass of water.

"No, thanks."

He went upstairs to get his slippers and brought with him a bundle of keys a few moments later. He left his things, while I still lugged around mine.

"Come on."

I followed like a sick puppy, probably because of the racquet hitting my face before. He was out of the door before I even was. When I got out, he went to his garage. Probably out to get something.

"Woah, Bella. Be careful of the steps. They're wet." Billy told me. Wait, Billy was talking to me? He's supposed to be upset with me or something.

"Uhm, okay. Thanks." And I still walked like an imbecile. I was not even fully aware that the steps were really wet.

"Be careful, Bella."

I was on the road now. Waiting for Jacob, who was still at the garage. He was riding his motorbike. _Jacob, I don't want to ride that_, I screamed at him in silence. I gave myself a moment to think that maybe he could simply be placing the bike in order, but not necessarily using it, but I was wrong. He took it out and placed it on the driveway. He made it roar to life.

"What? I thought you were only kidding?" I told him.

"Hop on."

**AN: What do you think will happen? Tell me what you think! I'll be updating the next chapter soon. **


	3. 2 Motorcycle

"What? You must be terrifyingly crazy!"

"I have always been, Bella. So hop on."

"I thought you were kidding!"

"No, I wasn't." He gestured me to sit behind him.

"But I'm wearing a skirt!"

"You can cover it." He smirked. "Seriously, Bella. Hasn't that vampire ex-boyfriend of yours ever rode a motorcycle?"

"He rides cars."

"Whatever. Just, take a seat Bella."

I had no other choice. I had to get away from Billy who was staring at me right now. I hopped onto his back with great care. I didn't sit like bikers would, I sat just like how a lady should.

"Hold on, Bells. You've never experienced this one."

"Ohh yeah. I never did. And I never planned to." And my teeth are jittery, Jacob!

I was scared the hell out of him. I held onto him for safety. And at that contact with him, I felt hope. Hope that I would get out of this situation with Edward. I was scared too, that I would not keep my promise.

"Jacob! I am scared out of hell!"

"Don't worry, Bella. I'm only gonna drive at fifty kilometers."

"What? That's even more than the speed of my truck!" Crap.

He just shook his head and went straight on screaming in his ears that I was afraid. I always held his shirt, though he was werewolf-y hot, I didn't mind. It was my life on cahoots here. I really felt something different. I couldn't point out what it was.

---

JACOB

She was scared? Of a motorcycle? Of all the things to be afraid, she was afraid of my cycling speed. Shouldn't she be more afraid of having a bloodsucker as a boyfriend? I made a big sigh of relief. Hasn't that bloodsucker ever driven a bike with Bella behind him? Sigh. Bloodsuckers.

I asked myself, shouldn't it be that having a vampire as a boyfriend be more creepy than riding a motorcycle? At _50 kilometers per hour_? Nope. Not for Bella. It was so _her. _

For all I knew, bloodsuckers were our enemies. They drank blood. And that bloodsucker named Edward Cullen broke poor Bella's heart. I love Bella, and yet he broke her heart. I bet that I can be better for her than he is. I will never leave Bella.

We continued driving on the reservation, eager to meet Seth there. Seth was a great guy, I guess. Pushy little punk, but kind.

"Bells, do you want to eat? I eat at this place and it simply tastes great. We can bring Leah too if you want." Crap. Leah. Leah was the only one who I wouldn't want to share lives with. Ever.

"Uh, sure. Leah and Seth." I can feel it that she was thinking of her bloodsucker again. Uh, always the bloodsucker. Why couldn't she think of me, her best friend. At least I know for sure that I wouldn't leave her.

Bella kept on shivering while I was behind the wheels. It was driving me insane to the literal sense of the word.

"Bella, stop shivering. It's okay."

"Oh. Sorry Jake." Jeez, I was hotter than a kettle just set.

Sigh. _Jake,_ I muttered to myself. That name made me look like I wasn't a six-five guy. It made me look like a decent person who was in love with a human named Bella.

It was hell's best gift to me when we reached the Clearwaters'. Seth was slightly puzzled at why we were here. It was too unnatural that we had to be here, both of us. It was a nice thing that Mrs. Clearwater wasn't around yet. I could steal the little mutt for a moment.

"Seth. Do you mind changing into wolf-form?"

"Yeah sure."

And with that, both of us changed into werewolves. Bella was already used to my transformation. It never bothered her, well, at least I think it doesn't. But somehow, she gets mad because it only meant that we were talking about something secret concerning her.

_OKAY. What do you need me for today, boss?_

_Stop calling me boss. _I spat at him.

_Oh right. Sorry Jake. _

_Good. So I brought Bella with me today. I wanted to take her out to that shop just near your house. I always eat there and it's practically amazing. _

_Oh. We sponsor that. We bring them dad's homemade fish fry,_ Seth sounded like he was crazy for this food.

_No, I ain't crazy Jake._

_Didn't say anything. _

_Yeah, you did. _

HEY_ guys! Leah here! _Leah was too nice. To the extent of irritation.

_AWW SIS! Why do you always have to ruin everything?_

_She always does, Seth. She always does. _

_Why do the two of you always make me look like the villain?_

_Because, dear oh powerful sister, you butt in at everything that Jake and I do. _

_Shut up, Seth. I'm gonna tell Mom about this, you know. _

_I don't care. AND KEEP YOUR EYES TO YOURSELF! _

_LEAH, RESPECT. PLEASE. AS ALPHA? _Sigh. I wasn't going to get used to that last word.

_Whatever. Guys are so immature._

"Uh, guys. Can you please be human again? This is making me agitate." I howled at her, so she would exactly know what my answer was. Okay, I howled at her.

"Thanks Jake." She smiled that prettiest smile that always made me melt. But somehow, I can't see what smile I was looking for because it was always lost since she lost that bloodsucker of hers.

_Ohhh JACOB. I'm gonna SO tell Bella. _Leah started jumping up and down like a puppy. I wonder how long it will take for some human to notice the forest grumbling.

_SHUT UP, Leah. I'm the Alpha here. So learn to respect. _

_Jacob? Do you always have to call them 'bloodsuckers'? _Seth asked, _I mean, they are friends. Of mine. _

_Yeah, I have to Seth. Those reeking vampires hurt Bella. _Even though I knew it was just _one _reeking vampire. 

_Oh whatever. Have your guy talk there. I'll go human now. _And with that, Leah transformed.

_Thank goodness she's gone. Your sister is driving me crazy._

_Well, Jake, why do you think I hate her so much? _

_I dunno. So now, we have to go to the house. Human form. NOW. _I waited for Seth to transform back. And after he did, I followed.

I was obsessively embarrassed every time I transform back in front of Bella. I end up naked.

----

BELLA

I turned so as not to look at Jacob. He always ended up naked whenever he transformed back. But what I do hope is that Jacob and Seth were not talking about me. I always knew in the back of my mind that it was impossible.

"Okay, Bella. Done now." So now I turned to face him. He ripped up his clothes earlier because his former shirt lay in the ground in tiny bits and pieces. I supposedly am sure that he didn't notice it.

"Thank goodness. I thought it took long because you were planning to assassinate me."

"I would never." I heard him mutter under his breath.

"What?"

"Nothing, Bella. Seth and Leah would be right out."

We waited for a few minutes. We were both staring into the dark forest when I saw Seth coming out first. Looking haggard but better than before. He always had a bad sense of fashion for a werewolf. While Jacob looked . . normal. Nothing of him gave away his being a werewolf.

"What?" he told me. I instantly knew that I was staring directly into his eyes.

"Nothing. Look, here comes Seth. You didn't notice, did you?" His eyebrows formed a small crease on his forehead and I thought that yes, he was hiding something. . or maybe just concentrating real hard.

"Notice what? He went back to get something."

"Yeah, I guess you could put it that way." Then he shoved me playfully by the arm.

"Ouch." It really did hurt. When I moaned in pain, all I could do was stare into his eyes.

"Sorry, Bells." His eyes met mine in that second.

"Okay, Jake. Let's go. Motorcycle, right?" Seth came out again, with his shirt on his left hand. He was half-naked.

"Yeah."

I rode behind Jacob, again. This time holding tighter. I wasn't sure on why I was holding on tighter. But I made sure that it was only because I was afraid to fall even though Seth was behind me, playing as a body guard.

"Wait. Shouldn't we have to wait for Leah?"

"No. She didn't like to, Bella. I had to follow her. Sister chicks, you know?" Seth said, a bit uncomfortable in his position on the motorcycle.

"I know exactly what you meant, Seth."

I suddenly noticed that the motorcycle was so big that it was enough to fit two humongous werewolves and one fragile human.

We turned north and headed in quite a speed. Crap! Jacob was going sixty! Finally, we reached our destination, I think. I wasn't even sure. We stopped in front of a little cozy-looking house. It was blue in color and there were different signs that I couldn't comprehend at first. There were signs like 'Pizza for Sale. We accept orders' and 'Cakes made to order.' Unmistakably, it was a food shop.

"Bella, you could get off now." It was then when I realized that I had been staring and staying at his bike for a long period of time already. It was rather disturbing.

"Sorry, Jake."

"S'okay Bells. C'mon." He took me by the hand. And again, I had this feeling that I could not describe.

**AN: OKAY. So. What do you think Bella was feeling? Well, if you read New Moon already, (which I know you already have) the answer is completely obvious. :) SO SMILES. AND REVIEW! For the love of all that's HOLY. :) THANK YOU. Love you all. **

**[AND. so. the. LION. fell. In. LOVE. with. the. LAMB.]**


	4. 3 Start it

I woke up to which I only thought was Saturday. I was wrong, today was a Sunday; maybe one of the days that I hated. I hated it because when I had unfinished homework, I would finish it today. And I also hated it because I couldn't go down to La Push today to hang out with Jacob. Only Charlie went there today, he was ticked off by work because he couldn't find the time to visit Billy.

I let out a sigh. Friends, I thought. I wish I had one. I already do, but I didn't have anymore now that _he _is gone. The cold, stone hard, and beautiful man that I still loved. Edward, I thought again. Saying it inside myself, thinking that he can hear it.

_Edward_, I called out in my head. _Edward, why did you leave me? Why?_ I felt really stupid. Talking to Edward as if he could ever hear my thoughts.

I slumped on the floor, crying. I know he couldn't hear me, so why should I bother? I tried to pick myself up from the floor but I couldn't, so I lay flat on the cold, wooden floor. Regaining and recalling every single memory that I had with Edward.

--

Jacob

Oh God! Why did these two people have to be best friends? Why couldn't my Dad be friends with a woman rather than the chief of police of Forks, Washington? If he wasn't, then I would be all free to go to Bella now. But I guess it would also be not-that-good to have female friends. It would be somehow irritating.

Crap. I screamed in my head such unintelligible words. I was in wolf form, so I think I bothered Leah and Seth who were in my form too.

_No, Jake. I'm fine. I actually like listening, while my dear sister is cramping me up._

_JACOB! What the hell are you? Why do you keep falling in love with the wrong things?_ Leah snorted. It was as if she never had a relationship with Sam.

_Leah, that ain't any of your business, so if you want to live without my chatter then go back to Sam's pack. _

_Seth, will you allow Jacob doing this to me? _Leah spat.

_Well…. _He thought of me and Leah…_ I think he should be doing that to you. I mean don't you even know how much it hurt my ears when I listened to you when Sam broke up with you? And now you're rejecting, the _Alpha?_ I mean, come on. _

_Oh what kind of brother are you? I'm-always-with-Jake-whatever-happens side? This is so stupid! _Leah was obviously angry, so she transformed back.

_Wait, wait, wait. I was obviously laughing at you when you thought that it would be utterly disgusting to have women as friends. _Seth suddenly chortled. 

_Oh yeah Seth. That would be irritating. You know how your sister talks to me? Well, she screams and talks in a high voice. Like she was flirting. That would be the same if Billy had those kind of friends. _

_Well, good thing Mom ain't like that. She's really…authentic. _He thought about the logic of it compared to my relationship with Bella.

_Naw, Seth. It's not like that with Bella. It's closely related to _authentic. I used his term to describe it better.

I opened my mouth to talk, but I closed it again as I heard a woman calling on Seth. I let out a big sigh. Sue. Seth's mom.

_Gotta go, Jake. I guess this is my cue to reason with Mom on what Leah has reported to her. Whiny Leah. _

_Yeah, tell me what happens. _I laughed heavily that I ended up losing a breath or two.

_Very funny Jake. Later dude. _He changed back and I did too.

I was in the forest, and I was naked, not until I placed my pants on. I ran as fast as I can to our house. I felt the need to spend some quality time with my room. It missed me, I think.

When I entered the house, I heard roaring laughter and smelled Harry's fish fry. Sigh. This never ended, but I guess I have to forgive Billy. He was ranting like a little girl the whole week; complaining that Charlie couldn't come over. I got tired of it. I mean I was happy because I saw Bella everyday, but then every single speck of agony would come crashing whenever I saw her leave and when Billy would do that ranting.

"Dad, Charlie." I sounded like I was introducing them, but I wasn't.

"Hey." They said at the same time.

That was all they could say. A "Hey" would do just fine. I didn't like being cared off.

I lay in my room, relentless of what even happened between me and my own personal pack. I just thought of Bella. Bella, Bella. Could she ever think of me? I guess I could never find out. I don't have the guts to make _the _move. I couldn't even ask her out to a movie! So she was already lucky that I could play sports with her. Regardless of Seth hanging around.

I longed for her to be in my arms. I longed for a touch that meant nothing but love. I longed for her, yearned for her. She was my life now. It angered and hurt me when I saw Bella coming home with tears coming down her cheeks. I wanted to punch that bloodsucker in the gut until he dies. But no, he was already _dead_.

Then a sudden idea hit me, I could call Bella! _Idiot, _I thought to myself. _You are _so _dumb not to even think about calling her. DAMN. _Indeed I was foolish. To my excitement, I jumped off the bed (and almost peeling off the sheets) and went down the stairs.

"Jake? Are you alright?" Billy asked me. Probably suspicious of my heavy feet.

"Yeah. Uhm, I need to talk to Bella about an English project that's due Wednesday. It's really hard and I haven't even lift a finger." A sudden gust of wind went out as I explained, lying.

"Yeah sure." And he turned his head back to the TV. Charlie on the other hand, never peeled his eyes of our TV.

I dialed Bella's phone in a very quick manner. I bet if this wasn't made for werewolf hands, it would've broke ages ago. At last, a voice so soft like an angel's spoke to me.

"Hello?" It alarmed me a bit; her voice sounded a little hoarse.

"Bella! Hey it's me, Jake."

"Hey Jacob! I'm so glad you called!" She did sound so excited, I wonder why. Bada-bing bada-boom.

"I was kinda hoping you would teach me some English. Been falling asleep lately, you know?"

"Yeah, I actually threw a few paper airplanes at you while the teacher was writing something on the board. You wouldn't budge. Sorry." She was apologizing? Wow. Modest, I thought.

"Can you come over?" And my heart started to beat fast. I hope she couldn't hear it.

"Ok, sure," she became silent for a while. Puzzled. "what's that sound? It's so loud." _Thump-thump-thump. _Crap! She heard my heart thumping. What the hell should I say?

"That's my heart. I ran with Seth today. Still exhausted." Again with the speak-fast-when-Jacob-lies attitude.

"Oh, so are you sure you could come? I mean, aren't you at least tired?" NO! I wanted to throw a book at her right now.

I could never stay away from you, Bella. I can even spend the whole night awake just to protect you from the things that lurk in the dark—such as that bloodsucker of yours.

She waited what seemed to me like hours. I hated making her wait. It was just wasn't so typical of me to do it. She broke the silence, and that was what I liked about her.

"Jake?"

"Uh, yeah. I could come. I just have to go and tell Billy. Bye." _Oh and I love you. _

I was desperate to get to Bella's house as fast as I could, but Billy would go up being a tell-me-first-before-you-leave father. Sigh.

"Billy?"

"Yeah, Jake?"

"Bella asked me to come over. Can I go? Is that alright with you too, Charlie?"

They both glanced up from the TV, throwing me stares that said, _what the hell are you gonna do there, Jacob?_ But eventually, Charlie snapped out of it.

"Sure Jacob. I mean, I told Bella that Sundays were no-going-out-on-weekend day. So I guess if she couldn't go to her friends," I flinched at the word _friends_. "then maybe they would consider doing the other way around."

"Billy?" I asked him. He was probably dumbfounded. That, I never understood at all.

"Sure kid. Be back when Charlie is. You should keep Bella company." I threw Charlie a meaningful stare.

"Don't worry, Jacob. Be back in a few hours. Five hours at the very most."

I nodded and then went out of the house. Grateful for the fresh air. When I reached the porch. I heard a loud thump and _ow. _Charlie, I thought. I laughed and then ran and ran to Forks.

--

BELLA

Jacob was coming over. I didn't know what to do. I was supposed to know what I was going to do because I shouldn't be fussing over this! He was just my best friend.

I grabbed my English books and my laptop in case Jacob needed help with that paper that was mandatory for all year levels. Freshmen to Seniors. I called five minutes ago, and I think Jacob will be here a little later. He runs fast like….Edward. I slapped myself for thinking of Edward. I couldn't allow myself to do that.

I heard a knock on my door and someone calling my name. Jacob. And again, my heart did beat for a feeling that I still couldn't name.

"Hey Bells." Jacob in perfect condition.

"Hi Jacob." That was all that I was able to blurt out. I gestured him to come into my house and settle for whatever help he needed from me.

"I need help with those mandatory papers. They're killing me."

"Yeah sure. I'm done with mine."

"Wow." It sounded like he was mostly mocking but I tried to block it off.

"You could check out mine if you need any information."

"Yeah, sure."

Jacob just smiled at me. I didn't know what that smile was for. I was completely dumbfounded.

When Charlie got home, we were completely done with the papers. While we were working on it a few hours back, he explained that he needed to leave the moment Charlie gets back home.

"Hey kids. You done with that?"

"Yeah. Wanna look?" I responded.

"Uh, no. Papers give me a headache."

"Okay." Me and Jacob laughed at his statement.

"So I guess it's my cue to go. Bye Bella, Charlie." Jake waved both of them goodbye and ran with speed towards home. He wasn't holding anything, so where's the…

Oh crap. He left it here. Oh well. I could come to school tomorrow and give it to him. Never much time to waste.

I was completely exhausted and I needed to go to bed. I told Charlie that I would be going early, so I did. He decided to cook bacon and eggs for dinner. For himself, actually. But I didn't mind. I was even surprised that he could finally cook. He missed eating those.

I brushed my teeth, got into the shower, changed into my pajamas, and turned off my lights. I was exhausted that I could probably sleep sound without that rain outside bothering me.

I noticed that everything had changed. I wasn't bothered by the rain anymore, I helped more people, I slept early. And I was feeling an emotion that I really could not name. It was, I guess, meant to be left there until it was ready to introduce itself to me.

I began having these thoughts in my head, and I immediately knew that I was falling asleep.

**AN: Okay. I suck! I haven't been updating. LOL. :p I'm gonna update if you review :D That lets me know that I still have readers :)**


	5. 4 No Explanation

It's been weeks. And I've been noticing so much lately. Most of them were changes. It was a) Jacob acting so weird around me lately (he would stare into my eyes, I couldn't understand why) b) Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley were two perfect idiots now. I was positive that I also didn't know why and; c) I think I could already name that emotion that was growing inside of me.

Jacob has been pretty weird. It didn't freak me out, to my surprise. He's been doing a lot of more-than-friendly stuff for me. And I was. . .crying over Edward.

Every night I had been crying for him. Longing for him to come back to me. I never let go of him because every minute of my life, I had only been thinking of my memories with him. And I couldn't ask for more. I never really understood as to why I never got over him. I once believed that when teenage girls would fall in love and they got their hearts broken, they would get over them in a matter of days. Sometimes even in a few hours.

I was wondering, why this wasn't happening to me. I'm living in a very dark place, and there was no light to guide my path. It was midnight and there were no stars to ever let me see anything. I felt incomplete. Edward was….like the sun to me. I would always feel his warmth no matter how cold a vampire he was.

"Bella, are you okay?" Jacob asked. He was staring into my eyes again.

"Uhm. Yeah. I was just. . .thinking." my eyes wandered off somewhere, and then they placed on a cold figure. Edward.

He was staring at me with devilish eyes. He looked at me with hate. I did not know on what face I have projected towards him, but I was sure that I was presenting something horrible. Or distasteful. Or horrid. Or languid.

Edward looked like the same as he was since the first time I saw him. Devilish, hateful eyes. Like I was the cause of everything and not him. Tears fell down my eyes, and his became full of sorrow. I looked away and my face hit Jacob's chest. He held me and pulled my chin up so I could face him.

"I'm sorry." I managed to blurt out. I was forcing myself to look down, but I couldn't.

"Are you okay?" He wiped away the tear with his warm hand.

"Yeah. Uhm, let's go." I pulled his arm towards my truck.

More tears rolled down my cheek. I didn't think it was that good.

"Do you mind if I drive?" Jacob asked. A furrow now buried in his forehead.

"Yeah, sure."

"Stop crying. Please." His furrow has grown deeper and it already looked like it was carved.

"I'll do my best." And I let out a forceful smile.

He laughed at my action and it made me laugh too. But I guess there was still pain hiding after I saw Edward's eyes fill with so much sorrow. I couldn't let go of him, his being was too much for me to control. He was my drug. My personal brand of heroine.

_You are such an idiot, you know that Bella?_ My other Bella, wow. She was here, again.

Why should I be an idiot?

_Because you are in love with a vampire, and you still haven't gotten over him. _

Why should you care?

_Because I am your other half._

No you're not.

_Yes, I am. And get over him. You could've died any minute, you know that?_

Well, I don't care.

"I barely wanted to take my life away, nonetheless." I blurted out. Not even thinking.

"What?" He was now enraged.

"Jacob, woah, are you alright?" His hands were shaking. When I looked up, his eyes were closed and he was trying so hard to push away the madness that was forming in him.

"No, I am not. Not when you're telling me that you want to hurt yourself."

"I wasn't talking to you and I wish you knew how bad this cut me. Really."

"Bella, don't take yourself away from me." He looked so disappointed, I've made enough trouble for one day and I still hurt Jacob Black,

"Take myself away from _you? _Excuse me? Jake, you alright?" He ignored my question by responding this way:

"Bella, I want to be with you. But surprisingly, I don't know how to ask you for it. In all possibilities I don't know how—"

"Shh. Jake?" I cut him off, he used his serious tone on me. He never did, unless he wanted to tell me something seriously.

"Hmmm? Belllm, mm cnnntt suuuyy eeeennnnyythhng." _Bella, I can't say anything. _

"Sorry." I pulled my finger away from his lips. "I say that it's alright."

"Thank you Bella." He reached out and kissed my cheek.

And at that instant, I saw Edward staring at our direction. Crap. He was watching us. He look very very angered, and then entered north for the thick forest. Jacob disregarded it because he thought that it was simply jealousy. But for me, it was different. Edward's jealousy gave a different meaning. A hopeful one.

_Bella, snap out of it. _She said with her voice being helpful.

What?

_Oh good Lord, Bella. You just agreed with Jacob. That he could court you, I mean. _

Oh crap! I forgot. Thank you . . Bells. I owe you one, even if you are crazily annoying.

_Well, I did hope that I would be useful someday. _She laughed at that and then left.

We rolled down our windows because today was a sunny day. Jacob and I wanted the smell of a sunny day here in Forks. When we were near the exit, we heard a crashing sound in the forest. Like a very big tree being pushed all the way down to the ground.

"Edward."

The school grounds were out of our sight before we knew it. Headed to my house to see Charlie, my heart suddenly fluttered because of Jacob.

"Charlie, Billy wanted to say hi. And he wants to know if you'd like to go fishing tomorrow." Jacob said.

"Sure thing, kiddo." That was new. Kiddo. He never called anyone kiddo. He must be growing that attached to Jacob. Not that he really hasn't. He's been seeing Jacob since, I dunno, I was born? But then again, I was older than Jacob, so. . .

I got off track. Distracted as I was, I couldn't even remember what I was thinking about.

"Great. Thanks Charlie. Do you mind if I watch the game with you?"

"Yeah sure, as long as it's okay with Bella. Bells?"

"What? Oh. Sure." He made me walk out of my reverie. I'd been staring at the window during their conversation. Edward.

Jacob and Charlie walked with their arms over each others shoulders. That was completely relaxing, and I had no idea why. I laughed at myself, pointlessly. I didn't want to cook dinner for now, so I just ordered pizza. Maybe it would give those boys a piece of their mind.

I went up my room and grabbed that iPod that Renee had sent me. She told me that it was for my hard work. I turned the music so high that it hurts my ears—something that I haven't done in quite a while. I was thinking of every thing in the world except for Edward. Edward seemed to be a saddening thought. I felt moisture fall on my cheeks, I wiped it and knew it were tears.

"Edward, how could you?"

It was all that I could ever mutter. I never blamed Edward for anything, but it was completely pointless if I never did. I closed my eyes and the flashback started. I was hoping that this wasn't sleep reigning me over.

"_Hello," he said "I am Edward Cullen."_

That was the only flashback that I could ever think of. That was the only line that I wish I've never heard. That was the only line that shouldn't have taken away my sanity for the world.

It hurt me inside, knowing that Edward was really gone. It was too stupid of me to even think that he'll come up to me and tell me to come back to him. That was impossible. Very endlessly impossible.

I waited for sleep to seep in. When I knew it did, I never bothered to wake up. My dreams seemed like a drug to me now, because it was about Edward and me which talked about fantasy. This felt so real that I wanted to open my eyes and see if it was real. But when I tried to let my eyes flutter, it left me hanging.

"Bella, please. Don't cry." Edward was holding me in his arms or it felt like it. His expression was so horrible to look at. He was hurt.

"I don't want you to go! Tell me why you left! TELL ME!" I was unbelievably enraged.

"Bella, I can't." He pushed me further into his arms, but I refused it.

"Then go! I don't…" Tears fell down my cheeks. More of them. I can't stand this anymore. I can't do this.

I pushed Edward away and saw his eyes filled with agony. And then it grew red, he looked like he wasn't in control of himself.

No. This is bad. This is really bad.

"Bella.." He groaned and then he launched himself at me.

Before I was able to scream, something hot pulled me out of the way and let me into its arms. It hugged me lovingly and then pushed me to its back, protecting me. Jacob. He saved me.

"Jacob?"

"Shh. I'll protect you, Bella." He said soothingly as he caressed my hair.

"How pathetic can a dog be?" Edward huffed.

"Shut up, bloodsucker. You look highly of yourself." Jacob let out a howl. Was he going to fight Edward?

"Please! Don't fight." I begged both of them. They both looked at me with angry eyes.

"How can you stay with a dog!?" Edward screamed.

"How can you stay with the dead?!" Jacob screamed.

I cowered into the corner of the room, I closed my eyes. I was still crying. I heard the scowling of Edward and Jacob. They were hurting each other, and I did nothing to stop them. This again, my fault. I screamed aloud. When I opened my eyes, I was lying on my back, and Jacob was staring at me—worried.

"Bella? Are you alright?" he was seriously worried. I looked at the clock and it was three in the morning. Beads of sweat covered my forehead, my neck, and even my entire body.

"Jacob," I said in a husky tone. "what are you doing here?" I got myself in check. He had obligations here. And here he was, staying until three in the morning.

"I know Bella," he held my hand. "but you were screaming. I got worried."

"But how did you get here?"

"Oh, that." he laughed "Charlie let me stay for the night when he realized that it was completely late when the game ended."

"Was that okay for Billy?" He wiped away the tear in my eye.

"Yeah. Charlie asked him. And I was running patrol, too. So I haven't been around." he laughed "Bella, got some sleep."

Jacob kissed my forehead and then stayed on the floor, holding my hand. I slept with his hand in mine, and I forgot my worries and my nightmare.


	6. 5 Back To The Way I Used To Be

EPOV:

"That stupid mutt!" I spit through my teeth. I shut the door behind me, almost shaking its frame.

Esme ran from the west hall, a dish towel in her hands and a worried look on her face. I would not appreciate her right now.

"Edward, what's wrong?" She asked through piercing eyes.

I would not lose my temper. I wouldn't, I shouldn't.

My hands were clenched into fists, hoping to find something breakable right now. Jacob might be a good idea. He was breakable, even for a werewolf like him. Should I go now?

I heard the door behind me and heard the steps of four vampires. Alice and Jasper would know what happened. Maybe Rosalie and Emmett as well since they were close enough to know what occurred during that time.

"Edward's jealous." Said Rosalie in a flat tone, heading straight through the path of stairs. She didn't even look at me or Esme.

"Yeah. I could tell that he was _this _close to breaking a werewolf," Emmett said. He looked at me in a funny way, like he was enticed to see what would have happened. "Too bad it didn't go as well as I hoped."

_Edward, is this true? _Esme thought. She remained unmoving in her stance, too caught up in herself to believe what she just heard.

I stared upon nothing, hoping that someone would save me from this treachery that was happening to me. Jealous, I repeated in my head. Was I jealous?

"Esme," a high-pitched voice squeaked. "it's was this close to a fight. I had a vision of it. It was a good thing that Edward was able to keep his temper."

Alice stated my thoughts right now. She was the one who explained to Esme starting from the very birth of what happened. She didn't even give Esme a moment to speak. It was totally unnecessary anyway since Esme remained as still as a statue—too still for a vampire. It was like Esme was carved into stone.

I sighed with impatience as Alice rattled on and on but I was still grateful. I was not in any mood to speak.

Sometimes I wished that someone could read _my _mind instead of me having to do it the other way around.

When Alice was done, it took rather a solid twenty minutes. The anger in me was still intact, my fists clenched into hard creases and I was barely animate to do anything.

"Edward, I'd rather we talk about this outside." Murmured Esme. With her head bowed, she went through the back door and into the garden.

I looked at Alice thankfully and got the message quick enough. _You don't need to thank me, _she thought and then danced fluidly up the staircase, probably joining Emmett and Rosalie to eavesdrop on what was going to happen.

_Edward, please. . don't feel like you're being held back. Don't downplay it, _Thought Esme as soon as I came out of the back door and into the flowery garden.

Esme sat near her flowers, her back to me. I walked quickly and sat by her side. I could sense that Esme felt the need to talk to me in silence. She didn't want my other siblings to hear. That was what I wanted as well, and again, I was very thankful for it.

_Jealousy is a rather hard step to bounce over. Edward, _she called to me. I faced her and saw her pained expression. _do you still love Bella?_

"Yes."

_Oh. That's quite obvious. I'm sorry, son. _What was she thinking? Her thoughts were too hardwired right now. They were all tangled up. _I. . could feel your pain. I could say the same. It really isn't that hard to see how much Bella meant to you—to all of us, especially me. _She paused for a while and contained her thoughts, I could see more clearly on where she was headed.

_If this is too hard for you, then why did you let this go? Why did you let _her _go? _

"I didn't want to hurt her. She is too dangerous for our world. She always gets hurt because of me." I answered sourly and with guilt. It was all true.

_I know that. Edward, you have to grasp that maybe she can live in your world. If you live in theirs, then she can live in ours. I can say so because, well. . . she is an extraordinary human. She can cope up with the supernatural because she is bound to it. She was bound to you. _I took note of the past tense. Poor Esme,she felt silly of herself right now. Not even knowing what's coming out of her thoughts.

_You can't take her away from the world she's chosen to live in. Edward, I don't blame you. Please don't think of it that way. Rather, see it as an insight. As an advice. Son, hear me out. _She paused for a while, and talked emptily—physically. _She's chosen you; to live in _your _world. She can't take it out of herself now. Even she has to, it's giving her such a hard time. _

"I have a diplomatic solution," I cut her off. That must have been too rude. "what if I go back to the way I was?"

She startled me for a moment, looking unaware of what I was talking about. But then she got it. _Ah, being the villain?_

"Yes, exactly."

_That might be a solution. For now. But think about it, okay? Think about what could be better. _Esme stood up, kissed my forehead and hugged me. The look on her eyes seemed. . . satisfied. Like a baby sucking on milk, like a vampire sucking on human blood.

Then I realized that I was alone. In the midst of nothing but anger, pain and jealousy, I stood in the world of the latter: jealousy.

--

What was the point of reality when it faltered? Was it worth living through when the purpose left? It had all left me speechless. Try as I may, I could never answer my own questions. My intuition led me to believe that I was weak to the bone. As weak as a human baby.

The human emotions that I've grasped were so evident that I could figure out what they all were.

Anger. Jealousy. Pain.

I could've sworn to myself that there was a new one. Anger, jealousy, and pain combined formed sadness.

What was left of me, I didn't know. I was wrong. For the first time in my existence, I have put someone in danger. Correction: someone I _loved _was in danger. It occurred to me that I felt human rather than immortal in this very moment. If I had a beating heart, it would die because of this pain. It was too weak to beat. There was no reason for it thump in my chest.

Maybe that was why my heart was dormant. Maybe this was why I became a vampire. Rather than Carlisle's own reason for my transformation, I was a vampire because I was soulless, a monster. I had no heart. I didn't take care of what I was supposed to.

I squeezed my temples and took in a mouthful of air as I tried to think this over. After quite a while, I gave up. There was no remedy ever made for this kind of pain.

It was only a few hours ago that Esme tried to talk me through this. I didn't realize that it was also hard for _her._

"Edward, you know I hate seeing you in pain." Esme rubbed my shoulders and shook me. As if this would go away just like that.

I sighed and covered my face. I was embarrassed. "I could solve this on my own, Esme. It would be as simple as creating a piano composition."

"I don't believe that," Esme faced me, arching an eyebrow. _Alice told me, remember?_

"I could change that, you know. Her dreams are subjective." I heard a hiss from the second floor. Alice.

"Edward," Esme scolded quietly. "just when you've found her and became happy again, you have once again lost your reason of existence."

I nodded and remembered the day Bella came into the house and hearing that I was in a murderous state of depression before Bella came into my life. It wasn't the same, though. I was now in hell.

"Edward, breathe." Esme told me. She rubbed my shoulders quicker, as if she was warming cold, stagnant water.

I never thought of it that way. How I was losing something so prominent and dominant in me. Shouldn't I be running away? Shouldn't I be shutting the whole world out, even my dearest mother? I should but I could not. I was still here outside in the garden, hearing all the soft snores and heartbeats of animals in the trees.

For quite some time, I was jealous. I was jealous that they had a heart and they never experienced having their emotions split into bone-shattering pieces.

"Edward," a high voice whispered in my ear. "it's almost time to go to school. You've been out here the whole night. Aren't you the least bit tired?"

Alice.

"No. I'm not going today." Couldn't she see me telling her this?

_Edward, you're taking the wrong path. What's with you? You suddenly changed course that I didn't even see it coming. _Alice silently told me. Her brows were deeply furrowed.

"Then I guess you have a loophole, Alice." I answered her smugly. I was so out of balance that I suddenly felt that my decisions were useless; they always changed course without my knowledge.

_I don't! Oh, Edward. If only I had a really cheap shoe, I'd throw it at you so hard that the heels—no, even the bodice—would break! _Poor Alice. Her temper was usually under control. It suddenly occurred to me that she was _thirsty. _

"Alice, just go. I don't feel like I could take whatever it is that I'm going through right now."

It was hard to block out what she was screaming at me. She was so ill-tempered right now that she chose to say it rather than think of it. "Edward Cullen! You are so. . ugh!" She said in a tone of disgust. "Rosalie? Emmett? Jasper? Won't any of you help me here?"

No one listened to her. They were all just unconcerned about it. For the first time, I was thankful. I was thankful that they couldn't care less about this right now. That was what I needed.

"Look Edward," Her voice calm and poised. She propped herself right next to me. "I just want you know that Bella would be alright." I snapped my teeth together. Anger coursing through me. "Edward! Hear me out.

"You have to go to school. Bella is just human. Weren't you the one who told her that _our _kind gets distracted so easily? So easy that you could forget her in a matter of days?" I nodded in agreement. I did tell her that. "And Edward, you're human too. At least you used to be. You may not be human, but you are a _man._"

"I—I just don't know what I would do if I saw her. What would I do when her scent enters me? What would I do if she enters my mind? Most importantly, what would I do if I saw that _dog _with her?" I asked her nervously. "Hear me out too, Alice, because I'm _dying _to know."

She was silent for a moment and her sudden vision made my teeth snap together.

"Oh, I know, Edward." Her suddenly cheery voice was so out of place right now. She wanted to repeat her vision out loud. It was stupid, really. "You'll act like the first time you met her. You'd avoid her," Then suddenly her, her voice seemed upset. "But it'd be so sad on my part because you're gonna hurt her. And that I'll be flashing images of her depression at you. I'm sorry, Edward, but I'm not going to hide anything from you."

"Sure, that's okay, Alice." I sighed. "It was mostly my fault that this happened."

"I'm glad you see it that way. At least you've grasped reality." Her voice was soothing.

"I'm just so," I tried to spit the word out. "_jealous. _I know that I shouldn't be. I want Bella back so badly that it hurts me. But I never had the guts to tell her that because I can see in Jacob's mind that she likes him. So, in theory, I don't stand a chance against that dog."

_Look on the bright side, Edward. At least Bella won't get cold anymore. She's got a heater. _Emmett thought. I heard him laugh. I disregarded that thought; I was trying to put myself in control.

"You'll fight for her though, right?" Alice interjected.

"Yes. Every day of her life." Where was Alice leading me? Was there a vision she was hiding from me?

"So there you go. There's the answer. You're going to fight for her. Only in a silent manner." I tried to glue the pieces together.

_You're going to fight for her. Only in a silent manner. _I repeated in my head. I've told Esme that this was what I wanted to do but I didn't ponder whether I would really do it.

Was I to love her in vain? To love her and not show a hint of affection towards her? Was that what Alice was trying to tell me?

I only had to ask her right now. "You want me to fight. But I have to conceal it?" Alice was prodding herself to nod but I cut her short. "Are you out of your mind? I might lose it!"

Alice simply rolled her eyes at me. "I had a vision of you. Watch it. And you practically told Esme that it was a 'diplomatic solution'." _Whatever. _

She started replaying her vision with Bella sitting near me in English class. I saw myself focused, avoiding her just beside me. She turned to face me when Alice suddenly cut her vision short.

"Oops." _Can't show you what's next. _Alice thought.

I thought about it for a moment. Her scent, her appearance, how would I avoid it? And suddenly, that flash of intuition entered me. It was like caffeine for the drugged.

"Thank you, Alice." I smiled at her with a bit of warmth. She deserved to be the best sister right now.

Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett and I drove to school with me behind the wheel. They weren't silent today. They were talking about schoolwork. I thought that they were really serious with it when suddenly Emmett lost a grip on his thought.

I smiled a bit.

He was hiding something; probably a plan that Alice was behind. I could see that the composed mask on his mind loosened up to reveal that plan but I didn't have enough time to glimpse on what it was _about. _

"Edward, talk." Jasper told me. And suddenly, all of them were silenced. _Your mood is making me crazy._

"I love you, Jasper." I told him humorously. Let Emmett get a kick at that.

"Well there's something you don't see everyday!" Emmett was holding back a really good laugh.

"Let it go, Emmett. You're gonna turn purple soon." I told him. Emmett's throaty laugh was suddenly the only thing that we could hear in the car.

I let the humor go and paid attention to the road. I heard a smack and sudden "ow" behind me. I didn't know who smacked him but I knew it was Emmett that was smacked.

"Stupid, loud voice." Alice murmured. "I'm going deaf, Emmett. And I don't think they have vampire hearing aids around here." Alice suddenly said with a hint of sarcasm.

"Ask Carlisle. He's a doctor." Emmett said ruefully; his happy mood untouched by Alice's complaint.

"Oh boo hoo." Alice muttered under her breath. Her teeth were clenched together and suddenly thought, _being a vampire stinks sometimes, you know Edward? Your hearing gets so clear and distinct that when you hear a laugh bomb right beside you, it could make you deaf. _

I laughed at that thought and suddenly turned right by the curve, entering the school parking lot.

As usual, the students always stared at us. Didn't they ever get used to seeing the Cullen cars? They've been here long enough. As if their stares weren't irritating enough, their thoughts were much, _much _worse.

"Hey Edward, what's so funny?" Emmett leaned by my side.

_I swear, if you tell them about this. . I am going to rip you apart like beef strips. _Alice winced at the last two words. She didn't like thinking of human food. I laughed again.

"Seriously, did you inhale laughing gas? Or are you just so high right now?" I parked the car into our usual parking space. I turned off the engine and went out of the car with Emmett still tailing me. "Oooh! I'm telling Esme that you're on drugs!"

I smacked Emmett with hard intensity that I thought his head might fall off.

"Idiot, we're in school now. So shut up, please?" I told him quietly.

"So, it's true then?" A smile never left Emmett's features.

I let the thought go. Whatever he'll be telling Esme would be a lie. Esme would have a lie detector by her side. Alice.

All five of us were now close to the school entrance. I tried to ignore the stares and thoughts that the student body was giving us. The stares were already bad enough for us and Heaven just suddenly granted me with the ability to read minds. Great. Pain-stakingly great.

_This _must _be you're luckiest day ever. _Alice thought.

I opened the doors and let ourselves in. I inhaled the boring human scents and let the day fire its engine on me.

**AN: I'm sorry that this is kinda long. I can't control it. My mind is kind of fuzzy and talkative. I hope you don't mind :) IF YOU WANT MORE, REVIEW ! :D JUST CLICK THE BUTTON BELOW AND REVIEW. THANKS! I'LL POST IF I GET MORE REVIEWS. **


	7. 6 I'm That Cullen

I could now understand what Carlisle was saying about noticing human blood. It was barely noticeable when not one of them appealed to you; they all smelled bland. Right now, I could ensure myself that I was not going to lose it and attack someone without me knowing.

With that thought, I helped Jasper. He wasn't going to be walking around here changing my mood when he had other personal agendas that he needed to attend to . . . such as focusing _not _to attack every other human in this school.

_Thank you, Edward. _I stiffened at the Jasper's thoughts. He was losing his grip. _At least I got to pay attention to the most important thing I should do. _

I slowly looked up then down, hoping that Jasper would notice my agreement. But as always, Alice rolled her eyes. She didn't need any of these.

_That was unnecessary. You could've just said something. _Alice murmured her thoughts.

As we passed the corridors, more and more students were walking idly, passing through us like invisible walls. I growled at myself for a while. If these students looked idle, then that would be okay for the rest of us. But right now, nobody had any idea that their thoughts were getting on my nerves.

_Oh, Cullen. Scaaaaaary. _One football jock thought. I hope he knew how badly Emmett could beat him in a game.

_The Cullens are so . . . dreamy. Sigh. I'm in love with Edward. _One blonde thought, her eyes fixed on me. I stared at her dully and must have gotten the message for she looked away.

_Papers due this Friday. Tsk, I won't be able to do this right anymore. Ugh, I hope Mom wouldn't mind. _Angela always had one of the kindest thoughts. I was glad to have Bella around her.

_Freaky Cullens. _

_Jeez, no need to block the hallway! What's this spiky girl's name again? Alice? I hope she moves over. I could knock her down so easily. _Hah, wrong.

_I hope her girlfriend noticed that. Jasper Cullen stared at me. _Her thoughts caught my attention.

That was one of the humorous thoughts I've ever heard. The girl must be mistaken. Jasper didn't stare at her because he liked her; rather he stared because her blood must've smelled good.

I chuckled to myself and the seriousness on the faces of my vampire family suddenly vanished.

_What's funny?_ All four of them asked.

"Ah," I hesitated, wondering if this would be the right moment to say it. "I'll tell you at lunch."

_Tell me! _Alice squeaked.

_That's not quite fair, Edward. _Jasper said.

_Must you keep it to yourself? _Rosalie growled in her thoughts.

_Ah, brother. I might laugh when I hear this joke. _Emmett humorously thought. His never ending fun never gets clouded.

"Emmett, you do realize that you're making it look like you're repeating school, right?" He nodded. "Well then, stop being so noisy. Physically and _mentally._"

I was busy laughing with Emmett when the thoughts in my head suddenly vanished. This must be a bad sign. I looked at Alice and her face was blank, a perfect face for watching a vision right now. I dug into Alice's head and saw that, yes, Bella is going to pass me in a few seconds.

The few seconds that I was given were running out. I started hearing nothing at all—no thoughts. Next, I could smell the sweetest human blood I've ever encountered. It made us all stiff right now.

Then there she is. Bella standing as beautiful as ever with a scent so sweet that it burned my throat like fire. It got worse. The fire turned into rocketing flames and I knew that I was this close to attacking her.

I reminded myself that this was helpful because I had to look at her, rudely, in the face when she was going to do the same thing. But, as always, Bella caught me in surprise. She didn't look at me or anything. It was like she never even saw me. I pretended not to notice that but instead of Bella, it was Jacob that looked at me—I saw it in my peripherals.

I had myself in check. Was my face hard enough to be believable? Did it look like I hated Bella? My conscience answered me with a yes. I was intact.

_Bloodsuckers, _Jacob thought. I wanted to lunge at him right now but now isn't such a good time. "Hey Bella, your bloodsucker just passed. Did you see him?" Jacob asked Bella.

"No, I was paying attention to something." She replied sourly. That hit a bad spot. I was sure that she didn't have any Shakespeare book in her hand or something that could divert her attention, just like she'd said.

Then it hit me. Two could play the game, right?

Time passed so quickly that I barely even noticed. It was already lunch time and as always, we—the Cullens—, sat together. Each of us had a tray of food but no one clearly touched it. It was as disgusting as eating dirt.

"Okay, tell me what seemed funny." Jasper said in a distracted voice. He was still concentrating on not attacking any human.

I laughed again at the pretty joke that blonde threw herself this morning.

"You know that blonde, Trish?" Everyone nodded. "Well, this morning I heard her thoughts. She hoped that Alice would have noticed that Jasper stared at him in class last week."

Alice rolled her eyes, gagged and said, "I knew that even before Jasper did that. Jasper was quite hungry that time." She laughed again, much too low for any human to hear. Rosalie and Emmett laughed too but the latter's seemed too loud.

"Quite true, Alice, if I say so myself. I stared at her because her blood was so fragrant, almost as fragrant as Bella's." Jasper chuckled. "But of course, Bella's scent will always be a hundred times more enticing."

"I hope that blonde knows that she's being too self-centered. Jasper doesn't love anyone but Alice." Rosalie agreed. For the first time, she was being nice. Had she and Emmett ruined a house again?

"True." Alice said, still distracted by Jasper's anonymity.

"Well case closed, then!" Said Emmett, lunging his hand on the table.

The food on our table shook. I could've sworn that half of the people in here were attention-diverted because of Emmett. I also could've sworn that I heard a small crack underneath the table.

The air around us suddenly smelled sweet and pungent. I automatically looked behind me and Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper & Alice looked the same direction that I did.

Then there was her. Bella walking clumsily as ever. She looked towards our usual table and found that we were all looking at her. She let her hair cover her face. Underneath her hair I could see the blush that was showing. The color was so beautiful that my stomach twisted in hurt.

We all looked away at the same time and felt the scent of her strengthen. Unfortunately, it got diluted with a wet dog smell. Disgusting.

"Ugh." Alice winced. "I can't see through Bella." _I'm sorry, Edward. _Alice remarked.

Jasper rubbed her shoulders and whispered in her ear. "You're not perfect, love. It's okay." Jasper continued soothing her until she got over the irritation she felt towards Jacob when she was around Bella.

Emmett looked up a measure above my head and thought wildly. _Edward! Oh, man! Look who's coming. _I looked in his thoughts and saw that it was Bella.

With the use of Emmett's thoughts, I saw that she was approaching us with a sad face. Behind her I saw Jacob almost twenty feet away from her, looking all worried and protective. Doesn't this _dog _know that Bella was out of harm's way?

The scent became more gravitational, more overpowering. It came at me from all sides until the strongest scent of all stopped still behind me. I did not look behind me to see what was going on. My left fist was clenched so hard on the table and my right hand was making circular motions on an apple.

"Edward," Bella said in a wary tone. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

The flame started throwing around the frenzy that I was afraid of. The scent grew as strong as ever and gravity suddenly started pulling me toward her. The fire in my throat was the fieriest thing I've ever felt.

--

**AN: Okay. Another chapter into Edward's mind. Did you like it? I hope you did! Please review so that I would know your thoughts. Hey, I'm no mind-reader like Edward. So please review! :) **

**Important question: In whose point of view do you want me to write next? Once I get responses, I'll write them as soon as possible. If I get a lot, then great! :)**


	8. 7 Spit It Out

**AN: I've been quite out for a while, I know. So in lieu to this, I'm going to put up two chapters. :) There wasn't any internet where I've been so I just wrote and wrote the story. So here it is now! ENJOY! :)**

**BPOV: **

I was afraid of this. Right now, all I wanted to do was scream and back away. Why had I decided to do this in the first place?

"What do you want Bella?" Edward huffed. He still had his back to me.

I was afraid of speaking for a long moment. I felt like I was slapped so hard that I could barely keep myself whole.

I noticed that I wasn't the only one who was aware of the two of us. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice were sitting with him. They looked in different directions, probably with minds deep within thought. I considered that unlikely since they were most probably paying attention to the two of us right now. . . and also most likely to think of different things for Edward to hear.

I hope I was wrong.

"Bella," He said and finally faced me. His face was angry. "What do you want?" His tone was severe and suddenly everything was. His eyes were even coal black.

"Hi, Bella! It's so nice to see you." Alice suddenly interjected. "I miss you. I hope you stop by some time." She winked at me and suddenly all the Cullens were gone except for Edward.

"Make sure that this is an important matter, Bella. I have a lot on my plate."

"It doesn't look like you have anything, bloodsucker." Jacob huffed, startling me. "I thought you don't eat." Jacob suddenly laughed.

I looked at him with disgust. He was being rude right now. Couldn't he see that I was talking to the man that I still. . .

"Keep out of this, wolf." He turned to Jacob and crushed the apple that was within his reach. I hope nobody saw that.

"What if I don't, huh, _Edward_?" Jacob disgustedly spat his name. "What're you gonna do? Sparkle me to death?"

"No. In fact—"

"Jacob, get out of here." I told Jacob. He was getting on my nerves.

Jacob left us without another word. My bewildered eyes followed him until he punched the cafeteria door and left. I wonder how mad he will be at me after I was through dealing with hell.

I took a seat on Edward's right side and thought things thoroughly. What was I going to tell him?

Impatience marked his face and suddenly spoke, "Bella. Please talk now. I'm going insane and I'm trying to get to your head just to find out what is in your head but I'm still here frustrated at my impossibilities."

"I don't really know what to say." I cut his thoughts off and told him honestly.

"Then why did you even bother to come here?"

"I. . I. ." I stuttered. _Bella, go on. You could do it. _I heard my other Bella now. "I'm. . in love with someone."

"And you are discussing this with me because?" His grip tightened on the edge of the table.

"No reason at all. I told you because you're my friend." Oh good Lord! Where did this come from?

His eyes shot up from the crushed apple in his hand. "Bella, what are you talking about?" He thought about it for a minute and let loose the anger that was him. "I am not your friend. If you're smart enough to realize that I'm more dangerous than the first time I've told you this, then stay away from me."

"Edward," I tried to get a good look of his face. Just _trying_, if I ever could, to do it. "I already know what you are and I know you're the most dangerous thing on the planet so—"

"So you've realized that it's better not to be friends?" He stood up. I wanted to stop him. "That's one hell of a realization, Bella." He suddenly walked out on me and just left.

The cafeteria around me was almost empty now and I could feel within myself that the sobs were coming. I wasn't going to make this protrude. For the first time, I would try and _stop _this madness around me.

Edward wouldn't be my friend. Why not? Shouldn't that be at least a good sign that I was giving up on him? Or did he still consider himself as one of those dangerous vampires? I am sick and tired of all this drama. Never was there a time that Edward saw in himself as harmless as a human baby. He always considered himself a monster. I hated that.

After a while, I gave up distracting and lying myself. I just let everything go. Nothing was ever going to come back.

Edward wouldn't be a friend, Jacob is mad at me, and all my friends are trying, to my dismay, avoid me.

_Bella, listen. Angela and Ben aren't deserting you._

If Edward doesn't see in himself the good person that he is, then I started to see how much of a plague I am to people. I've been so horrible to almost everyone. It wasn't a surprise as to why Lauren and Jessica were behind the anti-Bella schemes in school. It was alright. I deserved it.

I covered my face with my hair and just let the tears fall.

"_Ditching class is healthy from time to time." _I remembered Edward say.

"Yeah, who cares if I ditch class for the rest of the afternoon?" I was going to ditch class. Starting now.

The school bell rung and class was now in session. I didn't care. It wasn't going to be my business today.

-

I was already on the road driving towards home. I knew in myself that I was lied to since I was going straight to the forest and not home. Home seemed too stupid to run to now.

The raindrops started falling above, showering my car. The weather today seems to agree with me. This was _perfect. _I parked the car near the trees and walked the rough path of vegetation. I wasn't going in any particular direction so I moved south-west-north-east-south. I didn't know where I was for all I care.

I was deep in thought when a massive tree root tripped me onto the wet earth. I was exhausted, I noticed for the first time. With exhaustion came weariness. I was beginning to feel too comfortable to notice sleep. Once again, the tears in my eyes fell. I let them fall until I couldn't even see anything. The tears blocked my sight and even my train of thought.

I blinked to push away the tears that were blocking my eyes. I knew that I was too tired too keep my eyes open because the last blink I took never followed another.

-

I woke up freezing. My mind was yet asleep but I knew that I was awake. I was awakened by a cold feeling on my skin and I knew that there could only be one thing, inanimate or animate, that could make me cold.

Edward.

I fluttered my eyes open, trying to search for Edward with these just-woke-up eyes. They were still a bit foggy.

I searched for him but to my dismay, it was not Edward or a vampire. It was just ice. A small fragment of ice was hanging on a branch overhead and its cold water dripped unto only one spot on my skin.

I thought that it was a vampire. I _wished _that it was a vampire.

Clearly awake, I was more aware of my surroundings. It had grown dark and all but it wasn't that late. It was still twilight.

I stood up and composed myself. Someone would go look for me by this time. I hope Charlie wasn't worried.

I thought I was walking north when in my peripherals, I saw that there was a huge boulder. Funny, though because I remembered that I didn't see this before I had gone in a restful sleep.

I shoved the view off and continued walking towards a direction that I wasn't aware of. It was getting dark. Fast. I had to run. While I was running, I heard gigantic sounds—it was more or less feet—pounding into the earth. I turned around and what I saw startled me. It was a wolf.

It couldn't be anything else since wolves were the only thing around me that were as huge as this. This must be the 'boulder' that I saw. Did it guard me when I was asleep?

I looked more closely at the wolf in front of me and noticed that, no, this was not Jacob. This wasn't the rusty colored werewolf that I was looking for. Perhaps this was Seth or Quil or Leah?

"Quil?" I called out, feeling really stupid. The mystery wolf shook his head back and forth, obviously disagreeing with me.

I tried for the second time.

"Leah?" The wolf nodded again. It was silly of me to think of her since Leah wouldn't care, for all I know. She hated me. "I'm sorry. I really can't see. Is that you, Seth?"

The wolf suddenly howled and walked closer to my side. So this really _is _Seth.

"Hey buddy! What are you doing here?" Seth pushed my right shoulder lightly and barked lowly. "Oh, yeah. Patrol. I'm sorry. Is Jake around?"

There was silence for almost a minute. I couldn't see anything at all with this darkness surrounding me. The night must have been approaching so quickly that I could barely notice.

"Hey, Bella." A voice said. I looked by my side and saw Seth in human form. "Geez, sorry. I couldn't help it. You looked unappreciative of my wolf form so, yeah, I transformed."

"Thanks, Seth. But I didn't really have a problem with the wolf form. I just couldn't read your minds like the others can." I laughed at my own little joke and suddenly, Seth joined in. "But seriously, why are you here? I mean, besides patrol."

Seth scratched his head for a minute and yawned. "Jake got a little worried. Charlie called him because you weren't home yet and they had no idea where you went. So the Alpha ordered us to search for you."

Before I could even explain, Seth transformed again into wolf form, helped me climb his back and sprinted through the dark forest. I couldn't see anything. I hope that I wasn't going to bump into any trees or anything.

I didn't protest to the speed anymore. I was used to it already.

The unconsciousness was overpowering me once again but I was fighting it. The cold breeze that was going through me wasn't a problem, what with Seth's smoldering heat. I kept fighting the sleep but knew in myself that I wasn't strong enough to do so.

I was always so weak. And so, I let myself go and let the dreams fall where they may.

**AN: Okay. That was crazy! Haha :) Edward is so sour. So what do you think? Did you like it? REVIEW! Review please, so that I'd update. Tell me who's POV you'd like to read again. I got a request already. :) Thanks for serving as my inspiration! :D**


	9. 8 Was I Dreaming?

**AN: Okay. So I dedicate this to my one reader. I hope you like it. :) Here's to JACOB! **

**JPOV: **

_Kid, where are you?_ I asked Seth.

I was running patrol with him but I assigned him to look for Bella. Maybe I had been lying to myself because I, too, was looking for Bella.

_Yes, you're lying to yourself. _Seth murmured. _I'm headed north. Look's like she went into a sort of box. Her trail formed a square 'til I found her. Bella's sound asleep too. Good thing she's not slipping. _

_I hope you're having a nice time. _I wish Bella would've slept on my back too. I wonder how that would feel?

_Bella's as light as feather, Jake. She's cold too. She's heating up now, and I think that's good. _

_Kid, stop answering my thoughts. They're _my _thoughts. But heck, I think I'm grateful that I don't have to say it out loud. _

_Okay, okay. I'm almost there, anyway. Are you near Charlie's? He said we could grab some food after we've found Bella. Ordered pizza. _Seth's stomach growled. I chuckled a bark.

_Me too. Just a mile away. I could smell the pizza. _I raced forward and let the earth on my feet sound. It was nice to have the feel of the wind on me. Seth raced forward too, not concerned at all about Bella's body on his back.

Well, maybe Seth shouldn't be concerned because Bella was as still as a statue.

We arrived at Charlie's place in less than a minute and we both transformed into human form. We really didn't want to scare the hell out of Charlie.

I held Bella in my arms while Seth transformed. I flinched at her cold temperature and wondered if Seth had done anything at all to warm her up. Happy, little kid.

"Seth, are you cold?" I asked the little kid as he dressed himself. Didn't want to see that one.

"No, why? I never get cold, remember?"

"Bella's out cold."

"Really?" Seth took four strides to get to Bella and felt her head. "Real cold." It must be cold out here.

"Man, we gotta take her inside." I ran towards Charlie's porch and knocked on the door.

I looked at Bella and remembered her warmth. It was invigorating. I suddenly wondered at how much it would cost me to just stay away from her. It was not impossible but it was hard to do.

Bella started snoring ever so lightly when Charlie suddenly opened the door. Dang, this wasn't enough time to take in all of her.

Relief crossed Charlie's features and he held out his arms for her. "Thanks so much, kid. Where'd you find her?" His arms continued to reach for Bella but I stopped him.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Charlie. She's really heavy. I'll take her upstairs." I started for the stairs and leaned over my shoulder. "Seth will explain everything, Charlie."

"Now that's just unfair, dude." I could feel Seth's eyes on my back. Poor kid.

"C'mon Seth," I looked again over my shoulder. "You're the hero for the day."

It must've lightened his mood because the next thing I knew, he was already telling Charlie everything.

--

I opened the door to Bella's room and laid her down on the bed. She was still cold and now she was shivering. I wrapped a blanket around her and put a pillow behind her head. She was still shivering. I rummaged through her closet to find another blanket. I found another one and wrapped it around her.

For another second, I had gotten so jealous of the blankets. It really seemed stupid of me because I was jealous of inanimate objects. I was jealous of how the blankets seemed to hug her so tight and at how it seemed to keep her warm.

The next thing I knew, I was already fighting the urge to lay down beside her and be the best blanket that could keep her warm.

"Jake . . . Jake . . ." Was she awake? I quickly checked to see if she is but she isn't. Her eyelids were closed shut.

She continued speaking unconsciously, tirelessly saying my name. It kinda felt good that I was the one she was dreaming of.

"Edward . . . come back."

I was caught off guard. The sudden rage I had felt this afternoon towards that bloodsucker has come back again. Bella was still in love with this vampire? This was stupid. Really stupid.

My hands started shaking and the temperature of my body started rising. I couldn't fight this feeling anymore. I have to run away from this.

I started thinking again. Just for the sake of calming down.

What's with this Edward? Does the way he sparkle makes Bella fall more in love with him? Sparkling little fairy.

Bella started shaking again but this time, into consciousness. Maybe she was going to wake up. Hmm.

"Jake!" She shouted and suddenly raised half of her body from the bed so that she was sitting down.

Bella shook her head back and forth while I rushed quickly by her side. "Bella, what is it?"

"Jacob? Jake, why are you here?" She asked, puzzled. So she never really thought of me at all. Okay. I can live with that.

"I brought you home. You fell asleep on Seth's—"

She seemed stirred until she was conscious enough to understand. "Yeah, yeah. I remember. I fell asleep on Seth's back. And I dreamt of you and Edward."

"It kind of obvious, Bells." I told her.

"Aw, geez. I'm sorry you had to hear that. What did I say?"

"You just kept saying my name," I could feel a smile crossing my features. "and then the bloodsucker's." I frowned quickly.

Bella ran a cold hand over my forehead and smoothened it. I flinched at her cold touch.

"Bella, do you know that you were freezing when Seth picked you up?" Even with her hands there, my forehead couldn't help but form a crease.

"Is this why I'm all covered with a bunch of blankets? Aw, Jake. Thanks." She reached for me and took me in her small embrace. I hated growing larger. She couldn't embrace me wholly.

"I could've taken that blanket's place but if I did, you might kick me to death." I chuckled. She did the same but suddenly went into seriousness after a few seconds.

"And Jake, I'm sorry for today at lunch."

"S'okay, Bells." As if I could even forget that moment at lunch.

"And you're sure?" She asked, humorously now.

"Yes, I'm sure." I smiled back. I pushed her to lay back down on the bed.

She lied on the bed quietly and shook her head back and forth. I held her icy hands to warm them. She sighed and evened her breathing. I wonder what she's thinking?

"Thanks Jacob. That's really warm."

"And that's really icy. What are you suffering from? Hypothermia?" I stared into her eyes. The color was so beautiful that it made my heart pound. "Bella, I want to ask you something."

"Go ahead, Jake." She smiled.

"Why are you. . ." I hesitated. "so short on words? I mean, you're not talkative lately." I edited. I wasn't about to go and tell her something about that bloodsucker.

"I'm—"

There was a sudden knock on the door that stopped Bella short.

"Jacob?" I heard Charlie through the door. I inched away from Bella as I realized that I was a few inches away from her face. That must've been embarrassing.

"She's awake." I told him.

Charlie opened the door and went in. He held a dish with a slice of pizza on one hand, and a bottle of milk on the other. Behind him was Seth. He was peeping through Charlie's left shoulder.

"Good to see you awake, Bella." Seth muttered. "Have you lost some weight? You seemed weightless when I. . ." I glared at Seth. Charlie didn't have to know that he was a werewolf.

"Here you are, Bells. Eat up. The pizza's still warm." He smiled and placed the food on Bella's side table.

"Thanks, Dad." Bella grabbed the glass of milk and chugged it all down quickly.

"Whew, thirsty." I told her jokingly. "Well, I think that we've got to be going. There isn't really much to do here."

"Aw, Jacob. Can't you and Seth at least stay for a while?" Bella pleaded. I couldn't refuse when she was begging. Ugh. Plus, she had a moustache made of milk. Pretty. I chuckled.

"Well I'll stay!" Seth said. Happy little punk was getting on my nerves. "I was watching a game with Charlie. We don't have cable at home."

"If that's what Bella wants, then let the big kids stay." Charlie chuckled. "C'mon kid, I wanna see who's winning."

"Jacob, I'm sorry." Bella whispered when Charlie and Seth were gone. "Really, I am."

"You shouldn't have mentioned that. But I forgive you." I told her sheepishly. I wiped out what's left of the milk moustache just above her upper lip.

"If you say so." She smiled. Her thoughts wandered. "I think I'm warm enough now. Thanks Jake."

"You've got to be kidding. You're not even _near _warm." I told her. "Here, at least let me sit beside you."

I sat down beside her and felt myself blush. When I looked at her, I realized that she also reacted the same way I did. Her blush was a beautiful scarlet red.

"You're _cold, _Bella." I rubbed her arms.

"But not cold enough to be a vampire." She muttered. That stopped me short.

"Bella, answer me honestly, alright?"

"Sure."

"Do you seriously believe that that bloodsucker would allow to be friends?"

"Yes. It's a clean break, I believe." She smiled, facing me.

The ever-good Bella. She should have been born in another time. Doesn't she know that she's in danger?

"Jacob. I know what you're thinking." She hesitated for a while. "I'm not in danger. Edward would think the same but you'd think that you aren't dangerous. Both of you just think the same way."

"So now I'm like the dead? That's nice, Bella. Very nice."

"No, it's not that. I just want to be friends with him because it's what I am. I don't want to hold grudges. And I want to try, really _try_, to help you become friends."

"It's like you're saying that dogs and cats can be friends."

"It's possible." She told me. Why was she arguing about this? It really wasn't fair that she had to win me over with her unnecessary reasoning.

I became too still for just a second. Maybe I should consider this. Maybe I should listen to Bella instead of her listening to someone like me. Maybe it would be healthy if I listened to her just this once.

"I give up. I'll just shut up and listen to you."

"That's great, Jake. Thanks. I really appreciate this." She ran a smooth hand over my arm. That was really icy.

"I'll try and do my best. Right now, I gotta run patrol. Just tell Seth and he'll stall for Charlie. Alright?"

"Sure sure." I reached for the window. Half of my body was ready to jump through it. "Oh, and Jake?"

"Yeah?" I looked at her frail body. I couldn't leave her. It hurt me to leave her.

"I love you."

I didn't look like I jumped through the window. I felt like I _fell _from it. I ran towards the forest. I sprinted into the darkness in wolf form, trying to digest the last three words that made my heart leap.

**AN: Oh God! Is Bella falling in love with Jacob? Please review! There's only one way to find out! Keep reading! REVIEW! :) **


	10. 9 One Over The Other

What could I do? No, what _couldn't _I do? The horrifying question is, what couldn't I tell Jacob?

It wasn't right. To tell him I loved him. It's not like there isn't anything wrong with it. Sure, I loved Jacob as a friend. But of course, I think I set my proximities straight. I set the boundaries. I think Jacob understood that. Of course he did. He's my best friend.

From the very beginning of this day, I couldn't keep myself in control; let alone control my fidgeting. Charlie also couldn't help but stare sideways from his paper when I was in front of him during breakfast. I was much too fidgety.

Those three words haunted me.

"_I love you." _

They kept playing in my head like a song that I can't keep out. It was driving me crazy. I tried, for once, laughing at myself. Why was I so berserk? I took this all wrongly. In the wrong perspective. I know Jacob would understand. He'd known the meaning behind it.

If he did, then why am _I _acting so different? I should calm myself down. Chin up, head held high. I can do this. Maybe at lunch I could talk to him. Just talk to him and tell him that what I said wasn't what he thought had meant. Right. I was going to tell him. . .

"Ms. Cullen?" I stopped short from my reverie. I looked up towards my teacher who seemingly called my name but didn't. He was looking towards the right part of the room. He was looking at Alice.

Of course I'm not Bella Cullen. Why would I think that. . . ?

"I'm sorry. I wasn't quite paying attention." Alice responded. When I looked towards her direction, it looked like she had just seen a vision. And she looks like she'd been terrified of it.

"Bella, are you alright?" Angela, on my left, asked me.

"Yes, of course I am." I answered boringly.

"Are you sure?"

"Should I be?"

"I think you should be. But I guess you're not." She said patiently. She looked down and looked at me again, not paying any attention at all to the discussion. "You're shaking, do you realize that?"

So I'm not really good at controlling myself. My mind's controlled but physically? No, I've got to disagree.

"It must be a really unlucky day today, Ang. Sorry." I smiled at her sheepishly and looked towards the front so that I could pay attention again.

Angela has been with me all morning. She knew that I wasn't stable enough. I lost balance a couple of times and tripped but good thing Angela was with me. She was being my guardian angel today.

When the lunch queue was up, I didn't bother to get anything. Angela got a trayful of food. Huh, guess I'm not the only one who's being indifferent.

"Angela, that's so much food." I said almost plainly. I sounded like I was so distracted.

"Oh. Ben commented that I was too thin and I thought so too, so I decided that maybe I have to get some fat in me." She chuckled. I chuckled along with her.

When we got to our seats, we made sure that it was far from Jessica's table. We both knew that they dislike me so I disregarded the chances of ever being accepted by them ever again. And when we also got to our seats, _I _(personally) made sure that we were far away from the table of the Cullens.

"So, Bella." Says Angela, catching my attention. "We're far from the Cullens today."

"Really? I didn't notice." I answered dully. I was really sick of lying now. I had to do it everyday.

"Bella, I know you. You can't lie to me. You did this on purpose. But good thing Edward isn't there." She murmured and giggled at the same time.

"Well, maybe I did. But it's for a very good reason." I still answered her plainly. It was like I was avoiding her happy aura. I felt bad for her right now. "Angela, I trust you with my whole life. I have to blurt this out."

The traces of joy on Angela's face disappeared. She suddenly became serious and ready to listen. "What is it?"

"I. . ." I stuttered. "I'm still in love with Edward."

"That's not so bad. How's that bad?"

"It's bad because I told Jacob that I love him." I blurted out the words so fast and low that I hope Angela could hear me.

"Oh. Oh. . . Well it's not. . . how do you feel about tha—?"

"Hey Bella! Angela. Nice afternoon, ain't it?" Jacob suddenly interrupted Angela's sentence. I was not ready for this.

I felt myself tense. Every muscle of my being was frozen. I was so frozen to the point that I might even doubt that my cardiac muscles were still intact and in use.

Jacob took a seat on my left, facing Angela. I could see from my peripherals that he was really happy.

"So, Bella. How's English?" Ugh. He sounded like Mike. I wanted to make his mouth shut for once.

"It was great. I got an A+." I was definitely not amazed at announcing this A+. I looked at the table so that my hair could cover my face. I looked to my right and mouthed to Angela, _help me. _

"O-kay." Murmured Jacob, obviously noticing my accent. "How was your night?"

"Jacob! Uhm. . Bella can't talk right now. She has a stomachache. She hasn't been talking to me straight all morning." Angela interjected. She really is turning into my guardian angel today and also the _hero _of the day.

"Whoa, Bella. Are you alright?" I put a hand on my stomach to show that I had a "real" stomachache. I nodded at Jacob.

"Jake, I'm alright. Please give me a moment." I pleaded him.

For a moment, I tried to think. What was I going to tell him? Am I supposed to tell him that I still loved Edward and I also love him? I tried to picture the outcome in my head. It didn't look really great. There was smashing and pounding and blood.

That last thought shouldn't have entered my mind because the next thing I knew, I could smell it. Imaginarily. I became really sick. I think I might hurtle something out but I had to stop it.

Good thing my stomach cooperated. I was intact.

"Angela, can I talk to you for a second?" Oh God, no. No, no, no. It was Ben Cheney.

"Su-sure, baby." She looked at me cautiously, trying to think if she should go for it or not.

"In the other table if you will?" Oh no. He was going to take Angela away.

"You should go see what he wants, Ang." I tried to tell her humorously. Angela nodded and Ben laughed.

"Thanks, Bella." He grabbed Angela's lunch tray and left.

Well, whoopdeedoo. There went my luck.

"Hey, Jake! I think I'm feeling a bit better now." I told him. I hope that it wasn't obvious that I was faking.

"That's good." He held my hands. "I, uh, thought about last night." I really didn't want to talk about this right now. No, rephrase. I _never _want to talk about this.

"Okay. So what do you think?" I tried to smile a little. I wanted to remove my hands right now.

"I'm not really good at this. So, I'm gonna tell you straightforward, alright?" I nodded. "I love you and surprisingly, you love me too."

I fell silent for a while. I don't want to take this in.

Jacob stared at me for a long while. He was probably waiting for a response but sadly, I didn't have any fake throws at him.

Maybe I should give up. Maybe I should keep it real to myself. I needed to be honest to myself every once and a while. Today might be a good time to start. I was nervous with myself. Like there were two parts of me that were totally different personas.

That was when my eyes suddenly opened to the truth: I loved Jacob.

I didn't know where that came from but I was positively sure that I love him. I just don't know where to position myself.

Every spark of our friendship reappeared in my mind. All my life he has been there for me so now maybe I was prepared to take it in to the higher level. The higher level meant welcoming him. It was not as strong as commitment but it was similar to that.

Jacob huffed and I guessed that he was already becoming impatient. I might as well tell him the truth now.

"A relationship, huh?" I shyly told him.

"That was what I was thinking." He let go of one hand and took something from his jacket. It was a box.

I wanted to scream. What was this? A movie? I'm not twenty one. I'm not even legal enough to drive! Why would he ask me to marry him?

I wanted to slap myself. No, he's not asking me to marry him. Of course not. He knows better than that.

"I'm not going to ask you to marry me, Bella. You can breathe." I started breathing again as he instructed me to do. He opened the box and took the ring inside. He placed it on my middle finger. "Now, this is not an engagement ring, that's why I didn't put it on your ring finger. It's sort of like a friendship ring but not quite.

"We're not friends but we're not lovers, that's what the ring stands for. We're in between. Bella, I want to be yours as much as I want you to be mine. All I need for us to be like lovers is your approval. Will you give it to me?"

Once again, I found it hard to breathe. Yes or no? What's the answer? Oh no, this is going to be a long day. I gulped. "Yes."

"Yes? Yes!" He slapped his hand on the table and stood up. "Whooo!"

"Jacob, sit down! Everybody is going to want to know what's happening." I snapped at him. Jacob sat down but managed to gain the eyes of everyone in the cafeteria. Including the Cullens. Even Edward was there to witness everything. Edward doesn't look so satisfied at all.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I love you." Jacob kissed my forehead. He smiled calmly.

"I love you, Jacob Black." I kissed his cheek.

I suddenly felt good. Like the air in this room suddenly felt lighter. I felt that everything was suddenly falling into place like I had wanted them to.

I never knew in myself that I love Jacob. For the first time in my life, I made my eyes open to the new direction that my life was headed on to. A new direction with Jacob. I felt that everything was going to go the way that I had wanted them to. There would be no obstructions. There would be no war. There would be peace.

Negativity had finally left me. There was, never again, the chance to think of the things I needed to think about always. The war between what I know and what I feel was finally over. I think I finally realized that all I had missing was Jacob.

This was healthy. This was life. This is what I want. All of the things in the world went into place and there was nothing alive to stop us.

**-----**

**AN: Bella's in love with Jacob now! What do you think? In my opinion, as the author, I think the chapter's a bit off. Haha. I can't quite put myself in Bella's shoes because I really can't forget the chapter that I've lost and found just an hour ago that I've written a year ago. The chapter is actually AHEAD of the ones I've already written. Haha. I just can't seem to imagine the things that I've written. It's like, hard to believe!**

**So anyway, please REVIEW! You would know soon enough what would happen. I also remembered the deleted chapter! GREAT! :D So now I think I have a twist in the story for Jacob and Edward. Haha. REVIEW PLEASE! :) Thanks. **


	11. 10 Truce

The first few months with Jacob was easy. I thought it was offboard but I thought that it was just me. We've had a few bickerings that were too serious to get over with but we managed to stay calm about it and just laugh about it after a day. That was us. Jacob and Bella.

But even if he was not really human and I was, it seemed just as strange that I didn't ask him to make me one of the wolves. It seemed really silly. It was simply like I'd asked Edward to make me a vampire. That's what was missing. I didn't ask for any of it. Sometimes in myself, I doubted if telling him 'yes' a long time ago seemed just right. Maybe yes, maybe no.

I often shrugged this thought because I just found it silly. Why would I doubt Jacob? He was mine, I was his. End of story.

Our relationship grew strong after three months. After then, there wasn't much to hide. We knew each other quite well and we also had balance. Jacob could already balance his time with the pack while I could balance mine with work. Maybe I was right. Everything _was _falling into place. Jacob was the last piece of the puzzle.

I felt better when Charlie knew what was going on between us. In fact, he was darn happy about it. When Jacob announced the news, well, I hoped for the opposite reaction but instead, he was sincerely happy for us. Telling us that I finally knew what I wanted. That was another happy omen. Charlie allowed Jacob to sleep over at my place, but of course there were restrictions. He wasn't allowed to sleep in my room once I was out unconscious. But he was allowed as long as I was awake. As usual, Jake followed the rules and maybe revised it a little. He stayed until an hour after I've dozed off.

--

Jacob and I were driving to First Beach right now. He had one hand on the wheel and one hand in mine.

"So why are we going to First Beach again?" I asked, snuggling close to him. It felt really nice and warm.

"Well, Sam and I talked about a truce." He said. Paying attention to the road.

"I thought that you already had a truce?" I stopped him short.

"It wasn't much of a formal truce, Bella. We just allowed ourselves to get involved in patrol. That's it. But other than that, there's really not much of a 'brotherhood' than when we have a fully formed pack."

"I think you lost me." I chuckled. We were already turning towards the fringe of the trees that'll lead to the beach.

Jacob sighed and chuckled. "Mine and Sam's pack don't notice each other right now except when we need help. Got it?" I felt him kiss my hair, let go of my hand and got out of the car. We were already here. He took a few big strides to get to my side of the car. He took me in his arms and cradled me like a baby. "Okay, Ms. Swan. I don't like you tripping on the ice so I'll just carry you towards the beach. Is that good enough for you?" He smiled my favorite smile.

"Sure." I smiled and snuggled into his warm chest. Ahh, it felt good to be warmed up.

"Now, I told Charlie that we're going to run a little late. So he asked Dad to bring some food for us. Harry's fish fry?" He asked.

It was late afternoon at La Push. Of course, I would be expecting to go home late. This wasn't one of the usual meetings that I've attended to in the past four months. Right now, Harry's fish fry sounded really good. So I just agreed with Jacob. At least someone would know where I'll be.

"Yo Jake! Nice to see you man!" I looked up and saw Quil meeting Jacob. Jacob dropped me quickly on my two feet and entered Quil's bear hug. "How've you been?"

"Pretty good. I haven't seen you for the last five months." Jacob answered.

"Well, there ain't enough danger that could make us hang out." Both of them laughed loudly. The sound almost hurt my ears. I just laughed at them.

"Hey Bella, you're looking pretty. . . flushed. As always!" Quil barked. I tried to take that as compliment. I did look pale. As always.

Jacob held my hand and showed it to Quil. Jake looked at me and smiled. I gleamed back at Jacob and looked down. I could feel the color rising up on my cheeks.

"Whoa, whoa." Quil looked completely surprised. Hasn't Jake told him yet? "You're. . . Wow. Congratulations!" Quil embraced both of us tightly. I couldn't breathe.

"Quil. . . can't. . . breathe!" I managed to stutter out loud. Quil let go and faced me with a little smile on his face.

"It's finally nice to see this, man! Bella and Jacob together. That's just amazing. Well, I gotta run. I have to look for the rest of them. Have you got Seth and Leah?" He winced at Leah's name. Why does everyone hate Leah? She's pretty nice once you get to know her. Jacob laughed. He seemed to notice Quil's pain.

"Yeah, I do. They're coming in a few." Jacob told him. And then faced me. "C'mon, Bella. We have to set up campfire for later." We started walking again towards a spot on the beach not too close to the shore and not far either. "See you later, Quil!" He shouted. But when I looked behind me, I couldn't see him anymore.

After a few hours, the two packs were finally complete. There was Sam, Quil, Embry, Jared, Paul, Leah, Seth and Jacob. Jacob's Dad was also there. The only elder.

In the middle of our broken circle was a campfire. There were a few fish fries hanging over it. The truce of Jacob and Sam weren't rectified yet that's why we were forming a broken circle. There was a large enough space between Jacob's pack and Sam's.

Everyone was quiet, the sound hurt my ears. All I could hear was the sound of the waves crashing gently onto the small rocks. It wasn't that late yet but it was freezing out here. I shook a little bit.

Jacob must've noticed my shivering. He placed an arm over my shoulders to warm me up. "Are you okay, Bella?"

"Do I really need to answer that?" I said jokingly. I closed my eyes for a moment and suddenly felt his warm lips on my forehead. "Thanks Jake." I snuggled closer to him. It was really cold.

"So what brought this about?" Seth said loudly. He was sitting on my left. I didn't know who he was talking to, was it Jake or Sam?

"Good question, Seth." Sam responded in his booming voice. It suddenly reminded me of Emmett.

Jacob's grip on me tightened a bit and spoke, "Well, little punk, since you brought that up, we might as well get it on with." He suddenly faced Sam. "Shall we?"

"Go on." Was all Sam responded.

Jacob gently handed me over to Seth and retrieved a blanket behind him. I wondered if it was there the whole time. Seth placed a warm arm over my shoulder in a friendly way, not like Jacob's. Jacob wrapped the blanket onto my body and faced Sam as he stood.

"S'okay, Bella. Imma keep you warm." Seth rubbed a good hand over my right arm.

"Jacob," Sam began. "The pack is not complete without the three of you."

"I realize that Sam but I'm not emphasizing on incompletion. Our numbers are good. No vampires are attacking." Jacob replied. Quil and Embry opened their mouth to say something but Sam raised a hand over them.

"Don't think solely about your pack, Jacob. Think about your other brothers as well. If you were in this pack," he pointed to his position in the meeting. "then you would know how much Quil and Embry are causing us pain."

Quil and Embry looked at Sam quizzically. Did they know why they were causing Sam pain? It didn't look like it. Leah closed nearer onto us with ever so lightly having our shoulders touched.

"I hope Jacob doesn't agree with Sam's crap." Leah whispered so lowly that I could barely make out what she just said. I wasn't even sure if that's what she said.

Sam looked at Leah as if he heard all of it. Then again, he might've heard it. "Quil and Embry couldn't take having only five of them in the pack. Both of them wanted a complete set."

"So you want us back, huh?" Jacob told Sam's pack.

"Yeah, that's what I'd like." Jared echoed.

"Me too." Paul murmured.

"Miss you, bro." Quil and Embry said together.

"But I don't get it. If _you _want us back, don't I also have the right to say that _I _want you back? If ever that were the case." Jacob took a stick of the fish fry and ate it. "That's why I separated, Sam. You make it look like you're the Alpha here, when you're surprisingly not.

"I'm not saying that you're not a rightful Alpha, Sam. Bear with me here. I'm also an Alpha of the own pack I have. Not that I even wanted one." He looked back towards Leah and Seth, and then winked at me.

"Can't there be two Alphas?" Seth squeaked.

"No." Both Jacob and Sam answered.

"Then why don't we just vote?" Quil chimed. "I'm sure that voting was awfully popular back then." He laughed and poked Embry in the ribs.

"Let's advertise, then." Billy suddenly interjected, talking for the first time. "Sam's a good leader. Well, he runs the pack even before you guys just split up. He became the first werewolf in La Push. And well, he establishes the laws just nice.

"Ephraim Black was the one of the tribal leaders who led the pack back then. He is Jacob's great-grandfather. Solely, in tribe law, Jacob would be considered as Alpha because it runs in his blood." Billy faced Sam. "Sam, I hope you take no offense of this."

"None taken. In fact, if I weren't the first to transform, I wouldn't stand up as Alpha. I wouldn't like towering over the true leader. The Uleys obey the Blacks." Sam said. There was a smile on his face. Was he _happy _about this?

"And so we vote!" Paul said, stomping his feet into the sand.

"I want to be of use out here, so I want to lead the voting." I told them, talking for the first time. This really wasn't part of the plan.

"Bella, as much as we'd like you to participate, you can't. Being with Jacob then heading the vote makes it bias." Sam laughed. Maybe it was true. It was biased.

"Oh, right. Sorry." I felt the blood rising to my cheeks. I smiled at Jacob and he took a seat beside me, brushing Leah to his right.

"Sorry, Bella. It has to go like that." He smiled and kissed my cheek. "That color is really beautiful, you know." He whispered.

"So, who votes for Sam?" Billy interjected.

One, two, three hands raised for Sam. I went to see whose hands were there. Sam, Jared and Leah's hand were raised. I felt the blood on my cheek again and this time, in larger quantities. I felt like I was cherry red.

"And Jacob?"

It wasn't so obvious anymore that Jacob would win as Alpha of the pack. Quil, Embry, Seth, Jacob, Paul and even mine's were raised. I knew it was wrong. I laughed at the thought. I wasn't werewolf enough to qualify but they just dismissed my hand.

"Jacob's the Alpha then!" Seth howled. The next thing I knew, I heard wolf-like howls that were made by the human wolves around me.

Everyone was happy, including Sam. The smile on his face couldn't be doubted; it was of sheer truth and happiness, it wasn't fake. Sam shook Jacob's hand and called out, "Congratulations Alpha." Billy shook Jacob's hand as well, proud that his own son was now the true Alpha of the only surviving werewolf pack.

I stood up and hugged Jacob, also congratulating him. "This must be such a big deal for you."

"Yeah, it is. And I'm glad that you're here to witness it." He carried me up and kissed me with much power. It felt real good, his kiss.

Jacob put me down and made everyone sit. Camp was a mess. The werewolves, in their joy, ruined the silent picture of the meeting and replaced it with joy that was very hard to erase.

"Well, what? I'm just happy, alright? But no fooling around guys. We're werewolves. We protect humans. The treaty remains intact. If one of the bloodsuckers kill, then you know what to do." Jacob faced Sam. "As for Sam. . . Okay, I feel really stupid doing this. Bear with me, alright? Sam, you're Beta. I can't just stand here as Alpha and just disregard Sam's leadership before. So you have my order, Sam. You're Beta and there's nothing you can do to get away from it." Jacob smiled at him.

"Thank you, Jacob." Sam replied.

"Yo Jake!" Paul called. "How about we plan a get away some time? No, not some time. How about in a few fays?" Paul interjected.

"A get away? Like, going away for some time? Perfect."

**AN: Chapter 10's up. How'd you like it so far? I'll try fixing up things in the next chapter so that you'd understand why this had to happen. The pack split up, sure. But I need to explain why. Review please! It warms my heart :) **


	12. 11 Pack Problem

"Maybe we could go to the Makah rez!"

"Hmmm. That's good, I'm starting to like that."

Sam invited me to walk along the shores for a moment. I wasn't quite sure why, but I agreed to it. I felt the need to think that even without power, Sam's words were always important.

"Bella," Sam whispered. We were far enough from the wolves now. "I would like to congratulate Jacob. I honestly think that he claims a right to this."

"Thanks Sam," I said. "Though I don't know why you're congratulating me for Jacob's position in the pack." I added. I wasn't really sure why he needed to say that.

Sam laughed, seeming fascinated at my own little ignorance. "Don't you see? You're Jacob's now. Well, you're together, as you put it. So I congratulate you with his achievement. What's yours is his, what's his is yours." He shook my hand and smiled in the dark.

"Sam, we're not exactly married." I told him and chuckled. The ring on my finger was simply our symbol of being together.

"Oh, right." He chuckled. "This isn't the reason why I asked you to take a walk with me."

"Then why?"

"Seth told me that you were asking him in secret why the packs separated. Well, as former Alpha and now Beta, I'm here to answer your question." He beamed. I could see his teeth in contrast with his perfect dark skin, even under the moonlight.

I walked silently with him, ignoring the questions that I want to throw at him. Tonight was maybe the best time to listen. I've wanted to know why they split up. I wasn't going to ruin this moment. I _needed _to know because Jacob won't tell me no matter how much I pried.

"Mostly it was about me being the Alpha of the pack." He started. "The pack knew everything about the history of our kind; they could beat me anytime if they wanted a quiz bee." Sam said jokingly. "They knew that Jacob was the rightful Alpha because Ephraim Black, as Billy said, was the leader of the wolf pack back then.

"They weren't concerned if I should be Alpha or not. They felt that if I wasn't the one, Jacob should be. So he was the one who was worrying all the time. He didn't really want all this; the leadership, the effort and stress of being one. He didn't feel the Alpha blood in his veins. It was much, much to 'stressful' for him. And so I let him be, being just the average wolf in the pack; not a Beta, just wolf.

"We were running patrol as one pack still when suddenly; we crossed the scents of vampires in the land. It wasn't the scent of the Cullens; it wasn't anything that we've encountered so we had the thought of attacking them. We've already heard some reports of missing people in the reservation and some of them found already drained of blood. So yes, we wanted to attack them.

"We managed to hunt down every unknown vampire that entered the land and we found that there were three of them. We were already going to attack when suddenly, Carlisle Cullen stopped us from doing so. 'Sam, these are our friends. They were not aware that we have a treaty on hand.'" Sam repeated in a tone almost as musical as Carlisle's. "I followed him. We did not attack, but I felt the guilt when I let them go because they have claimed lives—human lives so to speak.

"I made the pack calm down because they were all protesting that this was not an excuse. I managed to calm their tempers except for Jacob. Since, at that time, he held a grudge against the Cullens, he couldn't control the hate he felt. If he was human that time, he would've done more damage to his surroundings than he normally would when he transformed. Jacob went against us, all of a sudden. His mind had rebelled against the thought so much that he wanted to run away. Second by second, I lost connection with Jacob's mind. It was like a door slowly closing. He ran away until I could get no more information as to what he was thinking.

"Seth and Leah ran away next but I didn't lose contact with their minds. Theirs was still as clear as a bell while Jacob's was like having been erased from the pack itself—I couldn't hear him anymore. I didn't try to get him back into the pack because I knew what he was thinking before his mind went blank: he was Alpha and the law gets followed. It was true, as it seems that he is Alpha. I let him be because I knew this was right. He had to discover himself. Truly, I did not want to be Alpha anymore. It didn't feel like me. I felt as if I were made to be in Jacob's position before: just a wolf, an ordinary wolf."

Sam talked as if I were not around. That was good. It gave him more time to think all of these through. All of a sudden, Sam chuckled. The story is over, maybe. "And here we are, after almost 6 months of separation!" Sam laughed some more. "We are a whole pack once again. Thanks to you, Bella." He looked at me thankfully. What have I done?

"Sam, I didn't do anything. I swear that I didn't." I told him, embarrassed. If only he could see how red I could feel my cheeks has turned into.

"You empower Jacob." Sam said ruefully. "Seth told me that Jacob, as Alpha of his own pack, has been performing better. He was also getting this feeling of a truce. It felt to him that he wanted one already but he pushed back the idea since it felt different. So I started all this." He waved his hands as if he made the whole ocean. "I held this meeting so that Jacob could put himself together. I knew from the moment that you were having that vote that I would never be Alpha but it was alright with me."

I've never felt this close to Sam before. This was really different. I appreciated all his efforts to explain to me this. This was different. With that, I realized how important the pack is to Jacob.

"Sam, I really appreciate this." I told him. "Thank you." I added, and hugged him.

"You're welcome, Bella." Sam responded. "We better get back. Jacob might be looking for us already."

"That's a good idea. It's also getting colder." I placed the blanket closer to me. This felt really silly. Walking on the beach with a blanket wrapped around you.

"At least let me help you." Sam placed an arm on my shoulders just like Seth and Jacob did. Am I really that prone to coldness?

"Thank you, Sam but I think I should be doing a favor for you in return, not you." I said and chuckled. Sam simply nodded. "I have one more question, though. Not to deep." I laughed. "Can you hear Jacob's thoughts now?"

"I'm not sure yet. I haven't been in wolf form since the truce, Bella." He chuckled. Huh, he was right.

I haven't realized that we've been half a mile away from camp until I noticed my tired feet. They were all still there, planning for the get away that Paul mentioned. I wonder how long we've been away.

"Bella! There you are." Jacob took me in his arms. "Hey Sam." He punched his fist with Sam's as if there had never been two existing wolf packs before.

We took our usual seats in the camp as if Sam and I never went away. I ate the fish fry that was waiting near the fire. I never noticed that I was rally hungry until now.

"So, what have we come up?" I told them. All of them chuckled.

"We're going to the Makah rez." Paul said as if he were advertising beauty products. I simply laughed at him.

"What's so special in the Makah? There's a lot going on in other places." I suggested. Why the Makah? I heard that it's dangerous there, I wanted to add.

"Well, besides the rich bears there. . . let's just say that it's just a good campsite for werewolves." Embry replied. Boy stuff. I just giggled.

"We're not letting you go alone, though. We know how much you love Jakey here," Leah nudged Jacob in the ribs. "So we'll let you stay nearby if you choose to go out."

"Where is she staying?" Sam asked.

"That's the problem, really. We're still trying to figure that out." Jacob responded.

"She could stay at Emily's."

"Who's Emily?" I asked. I saw Sam smile warmly at me.

"Little Emily Uley. Ha ha ha!" Paul teased. Is she Sam's wife?

"Shut up, Paul." Sam ordered and immediately, Paul silenced. Sam faced me. "She's my fiancée, Bella."

"Oh. OH. I'm happy for you, Sam!" I giggled.

"Thank you, Bella."

"So when's the date set?" I asked the pack.

All of them looked at me and responded, "Tomorrow."

Tomorrow? Well, that was too fast. I felt that it was too fast. My feet were turning into Jello. I hope Jacob was there to catch my feet.

"Relax, Bella." Jacob whispered in my ear. "I'll run patrol." That felt so much better. I couldn't bear the idea of being all alone without him to surface through my mind. I needed Jacob.


	13. 12 Hunting Trip

Today was the pack's camping trip. Well, I'd call it more of a hunting trip. The boys explained to me that there were more greater things to do in the Makah reservation when it came to werewolves.

"Sure, we might get drunk." I remembered Paul stating. "But I think we wouldn't want to look like wolves that are damsels in distress in the woods." He chuckled.

"That would be good to look at." Quil responded. "Wolves running like little girls." Leah cleared her throat and everyone just laughed.

I was preparing the things that I would need for the camping trip. Jake told me that I'd better go to school today and just catch up with us later in the afternoon. I was glad that today was just half-day because it was a Friday.

I zipped my bag, went out of the house and placed the bag inside the car. I would be going to straight to Emily's place later. I went inside and grabbed a granola bar for breakfast because I was already running late for school.

--

Good thing I wasn't late. Five minutes were left before the first bell would sound. I rushed to my first class.

Second period. Third . . . fourth . . . fifth . . . _lunch_. Finally.

The day seemed so slow today that I wanted to make sure that Earth hasn't stopped revolving. It was sickening without Jacob.

At lunch, I took a seat with Ben and Angela, not bothering at all to sit with the Anti-Bella group. I was much too . . .

"So, Bella, how're you and Jake coming along?" Ben asked. He caught me staring at his and Angela's hand entwined. I looked away.

"We're great. We've had rows but I'm glad they were over. Couldn't really take it when we fight."

"Oh, that's a really good thing." Angela chimed in. I chuckled.

"You're almost going to be together for six months, right?" Ben asked.

"Yes. It's nearing." I responded. Wow, half a year together. That's going to be a bit amusing.

"Speaking of together . . . Angela, sixth period is going early. We have to go . . ." Ben looked at something behind me and Angela followed his league.

They said goodbye and went out of the cafeteria quickly. I wonder if it was Jacob that they were looking at. It couldn't be, really. Jacob was out on the Makah rez enjoying themselves with the raw adventure that they enjoyed.

If it wasn't Jacob then who is it that made Angela and Ben leave? They wouldn't disband me from them if it wasn't for (I started guessing who it might be) . . . Jessica? Lauren? Edward?

_Edward. _

There was a sudden tap on my shoulder and I looked behind me to see who it was.

I guess that my guesses were wrong but the last was correct.

"Bella." He told me. His golden eyes were soldering themselves into mine.

"E-Edward?" I stuttered.

"Is this seat taken?" He asked me. I tried to snap out of it, I had to talk to him.

Butterflies began filling my stomach and I had to grasp onto something so as not to control whatever emotion I had in me right now. I would not show him how much his voice and appearance bothered me a lot—good and bad.

"No. Have a seat, Edward." I tried to tell him coolly. At least I _think_ I answered coolly.

There it was. Edward sitting facing me, a perfect poker face. "Bella, I've thought things over and I—"

"You what? Finally realized that I was right and you were wrong?" Funny. I didn't remember telling Edward anything in relation to what I just said.

"It is sort of like that." He admitted. "But I want to explain further." He was looking at me, like trying to affirm his explanation.

"Go on," I told him. "I'm all ears."

"Thank you, Bella." He told me nervously. "I've tried to reconsider the proposal that you were giving me a few months back. I've thought it over and asked my brothers and Alice, Carlisle and Esme. They told me that it would be a good idea."

"I'm afraid I'm not following." I told him. Confused with what he just said. Was he referring to the last time I'd talk to him? When I told him that we were friends?

"Back to the time when you told me that we are supposed to be friends. I denied you, Bella. And I want to reconsider what I said hastily. It was unforgivable of me to answer right away without thinking.

"Forgive me that I think too long. I assure you, though, that I have prepared myself to tell you the final decision I've been able to create in the past months." I tried really hard to understand and I hope that he would notice my ignorance of what he's saying right now. "In plain terms, Bella," he chuckled. "I'd like to be friends with you."

He smiled my favorite smile and next, my heart leapt into great joy. I hope that it wasn't fast enough for him to think that I had still saved emotions for a man like him.

"Well . . . well, uh." Those were the only words I managed to say out loud. "I think that's, er, great Edward. Thanks for reconsidering that thought."

"My pleasure, Bella." He answered.

The first rang bell and I was still there, glued to my seat. Edward was standing up while I was still here, thinking if all of this was a reckless dream. I must pinch myself.

"Would you like me to walk you to class, Bella?" He said. "I mean, that's what good friends do, right?"

"Yes, I suppose." We walked out of the cafeteria, still feeling eerie about what just happened. I pinched myself secretly and found out that, no, I was not dreaming at all.

"Where is Jacob? I haven't seen him anywhere." He asked me. Didn't he know?

"Oh." I said, startled. "Well, Jacob, and the pack, is at the Makah rez."

"Is it alright if I know why?"

"Sure," I managed to blurt out. "Jacob's pack and Sam Uley's pack are now one big happy family again. So the wolves planned a sort of getaway. But it's just hilarious that they consider near places as a getaway. You get what I mean?"

"Yes, I do." He chuckled. The sound was amazing. I could listen to it all day. "You're joining them too?"

"I'm meeting them at Sam's fiancée's house later, yes."

"Well, good luck, Bella. Be careful, alright?" We were already at the door of my sixth period class. I had my hand on the handle when he said goodbye.

--

I never saw Edward after school again. When I went to the parking lot, his car wasn't in the usual spot that it stood on. I suppressed a sigh.

Even though Edward was just a friend, I couldn't help but think that he was more than that to me. It may seem silly, really. I was with Jacob and I shouldn't be thinking of these.

No. I didn't seem silly. It was stupid. Inexcusable, unforgivable, and most of all unfaithful. For all I know, I . . .

"Bella?" There was a light tap on my car window. It was Edward.

I rolled down my windows and wondered what he wanted now. "I happen to stumble upon a book in the hallway. It had your name on it. I absent-mindedly brought it home and, knowing that you are still here, I ran to give it to you."

"Thanks, Edward. I really appreciate that. It was supposed to be the second part of the book report in English class."

"You're welcome, Bella." And without another word, he left.

--

On the used-to-be invisible boundary line of the reservation, I found Quil and Embry hiding in the bushes in wolf form. For a moment they disappeared and I parked on the space where I saw them. Two seconds after I parked, I heard two sets of feet stomping on the back of my truck.

I looked behind me and saw the two wolves riding on the back. I laughed and went on down the road.

I fixed the rearview mirror and the next thing I saw was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.

Quil's tongue was hanging out, letting the wind drive his tongue around his nose. Embry looked like he was snickering and nudged Quil's shoulders. Quil looked like a dog instead of a wolf right now. Quil barked a laugh while his tongue was still in its unnatural place.

Still laughing at them, I opened the car window and told them, "Hey Quil, stop putting your tongue out. Embry, help me stop him, please? And boys, be human. The reservation doesn't have zero population that could keep anyone from seeing you guys. If they see you, what would I tell them? Would I tell them that I have such humongous dogs that are the size of horses? Come on, guys." I laughed at them.

Embry and Quil barked a laugh until I noticed that I can't hear anything anymore. Maybe they were in human form now.

"Okay, okay. Jake might kill us if he finds out." Embry said. He startled me because his head was near me, just a few inches away from the window.

"Correction, my compadre." Quil shouted over the sound of the wind. "He _will _find out."

"Just so we're clear boys, I wouldn't keep anything from Jacob. Especially if it's hilarious." I laughed boisterously.

The few minutes of joy was ending when Embry instructed me to turn right in the corner. I drove one-fourth of a kilometer until I saw a small house. It looked like it was only made of wood therefore it was unique. Was this Emily's house?

"Welcome to Emily's, Bella." Quil told me, lightly punching his fist onto my shoulder.

"Don't stare at her, though." Embry warned me. Why shouldn't I stare?

We entered the house without knocking. They were home to this house, I thought. Maybe the wolves hang out here a lot since Sam's with Emily.

"Boys?" I heard a native American voice say. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, Em! We brought a visitor." Embry responded.

I heard a light _thump _on the floor and footsteps creaking towards the hallway to where we stood.

A few seconds later, I saw a lean, tanned woman of about twenty. She had reading eyeglasses on and a book on one hand. She had wonderful features that were hard to ignore. Upon closer look, I noticed that she didn't tan herself. It was her skin tone.

Maybe the reason why Quil told me not to stare was because she looked unbelievable. She looked really beautiful. Sam was lucky with Emily. It was not the reason why I couldn't keep my eyes off though. She had a massive scar on the right side of her face. I peeled my eyes away.

"So, are you wolf-girl number two?" Emily asked me. She had a grin on her face and warm eyes.

"Do I have to answer 'yes'?" I thought about it. I have to answer 'yes'. "Well, yes. So you're wolf-girl number one?"

"Yes, I think you could consider that idea." She chuckled. "So, Bella. I'm Emily," she stretched her hand. "I'm Sam's fiancée."

I chuckled, I felt home with Emily around. "I'm Bella. Bella Swan." I shook her hand. "I'm Jacob's girlfriend."

"That's interesting. Jacob finally found someone to love." She smiled.

"Well, that about ends our introductory period." Embry said. "Bella, you're going to stay here with Emily. That's alright, Emily?"

"Yes." Emily responded. "She's welcomed as much you guys are." She chuckled.

"Thank you, Emily." I told her.

"So, yeah." Quil butted in, scratching his head. "Embry and I'll be heading out to the Makah rez now to meet with the others. Emily knows the cabin numbers that we're staying in. And . . . well, good luck. Oh, and by the way, Bella." He told me. "Here are your stuff." He handed me my bag.

I was much too embarrassed to face this right now. I barely knew Emily and I could not do anything but be shy around her.

Quil and Embry left and I was left alone with Emily. I was pondering about her home decorations and found that they were very unique.

The house was filled with carvings of what looked like was the style of the tribes. Each of them looked like they meant something. The house, even in the inside, was pure wood and maybe some oak too. The beams were high, there was a handcrafted wood chandelier hanging above. The chandelier looked very simple but elegant.

"Bella, you look like you went into a museum." Emily chuckled.

"It looks like it, Emily." I mused and felt the blood in my cheeks.

"I'm glad you like it. Sam helped decorate it. Carved it himself." Emily said proudly.

"Well, it looks amazing. He could earn a living from carving." I chuckled. "I was only kidding, though. Sam wouldn't take that as one of his jobs."

"Actually, Bella, Sam wanted that as much as I did for him."

"He could start small. Just a few houses in the reservation."

"I'll tell him that. Nice idea." Emily said. "Follow me, Bella. I'll show you to your room."

**AN: Okay. Bella's nearing one step something. Review please. It really means that much to me. Thank you :)**


	14. 13 My Brothers and My Girl

**AN: How is Jacob and the pack? Let's see into Jacob's mind. R&R please :]**

JPOV:

The whole day without Bella is excruciating. I'd thought it would be easy but all I could do is think about her. My brothers were irritated every time I think of Bella.

Mostly it's their fault anyway. They planned this.

_Did not. _Seth said. _Not our fault, Alpha. _Seth chuckled.

_Yeah, you agreed. _Embry seconded.

_Which means, roughly stated, that you gave us permission. _Paul butted in.

_Okay, okay. I was kidding anyway. If it's your fault, then why would I come? You're kidding me, right?_

_Jacob's right, _Sam agreed.

I didn't really sulk all day. Actually, I enjoyed this day. I forgot the feeling I had every time I hung out with the pack. It had a different air to it. It was different from before I had Bella in my life.

I also didn't mean that Bella wasn't a fortune in my life. Of course she was. Bella had become the lucky charm of Jacob Black. The lucky charm I enjoyed, had fun with and loved.

The moans of my brothers brought me back to the present.

_It's about time you notice us, _Jared thought.

_Ha ha. Funny. _I said sarcastically.

We were on our way back to camp after a full day of camping and werewolf-ing around. I've got to say, everyone was satisfied.

The camp we stayed in was the Clearwaters' resort. Harry Clearwater made it known to us that he had a resort when we were trying to figure out where to stay.

Our first option was Emily's house but it might be too much trouble for her and Sam might be a little uncomfortable with it. The pack thought that the fun was limited if we stayed there. We were talking at the Clearwaters' that time. That was when Harry suddenly butt in and offered us his resort.

But the catch was that it wasn't a private resort. There are _people _there.

One of them is going to be Bella. I smiled.

I raced forward back to camp and let my feet make the sound of eagerness that was for Bella. I needed to see her so badly I might shoot myself in wishing so.

_Bet you ten bucks that Jake'd shoot himself without Bella, Embry. _Jared thought.

_You're on. _Embry agreed.

_That's sick, really. You know that I wouldn't do that. _I told them.

_I can smell Bella and Emily, Jacob. Sam. _Seth said, referring to Sam and me.

I can definitely smell Bella and Emily.

_Human form now. We're one-fourth of a mile away from the camp. _I instructed them.

I waited. One by one I could hear their minds. Sam . . Seth . . Jared . . Quil . . Embry . . Paul. That was all of them.

What? Only six? Oh yeah, Leah's at the cabin.

I turned human last and I ran towards the camp with much enthusiasm. The pack, who were a hundred meters away from me, were left behind as I ran past them.

Bella, Bella, Bella. My head echoed.

At least now, no one in my head would shout. I get some privacy.

--

I arrived at the camp now. I searched for Bella over the small crowd that was in the resort. I searched and searched until I found a tall, brown-headed, curly-haired girl. Bella.

I rushed to her, looking at her from an angle to make sure that it was her. Yep, definitely Bella. She walked to the river and sat on a stone. I went near her and covered her eyes with my hands.

"Miss me?" I whispered in my ear. I could feel a smile on her face. Her cheeks pulled up a bit.

"Yes. I did." She held my hands that were still on her face. She tried yanking them apart but it was like a baby yanking my hands loose.

"You're such a baby." I told her. I removed my hands, faced her and touched the tip of her nose with my finger.

"Jake!" She hugged me. Bear hug? She really must have missed me.

"OK, OK. I'm pushing my limits." I let her go and looked her straight in the eye. "Hi," I greeted her.

"Hey," she responded. "So how's the 'getaway' going?"

"Really good. I had fun." I kissed her nose.

"Are you in love with my nose or something? You've been kissing it a few times." She sarcastically scolded. "You can have my nose, if that's what you want."

"No, no. I need you. I need you because I love you, Bella. I need this, this, this, this, and this." I kissed her forehead, eyes, cheeks, nose, and lips. "All of you, if you will."

"Hey, enough of that." Quil teased. "Jake, you're here for your brothers. Girls later." He muffled.

"I'll give your brother back in five minutes tops." Bella smirked.

"OK. I'll leave you two lovebirds." Quil rolled his eyes, laughed and left us alone.

"That's not quite fair, Bella Swan. I get only less than ten minutes with you."

"C'mon, Jake. Your brothers are also priority. Remember what I told you. 'Remember your priorities'. OK?"

"Yes, okay. I'll try my best." I laughed and kissed her.

For a while, I sat with Bella on the rock she was sitting on. I placed her on my lap and she rested on my chest. I tried to take in what was around me.

The resort didn't look like what is should be. It was like a forest resort. A wide lake was stretched in front of us. There were big, tall, long and old trees that served as the resort's roof; the light that passed through it in little rays. There was an outstretch of trees on the other side but the trees didn't look creepy in any way. Behind us were the cabins.

I could hear the people running around, children laughing, grills heating but the best sound that I was hearing right now was Bella's heart. It thumped loud and fast enough for me to hear and wonder what she was thinking.

"What are you thinking?" I said as I kissed her hair.

"I'm just taking in the surroundings. I'm taking in your scent. I really missed you." She suddenly said.

"You don't know how small your words are compared to what I feel. I missed you more than words can say." I held our hands to her heart. "I love that sound."

"It says 'I love you'." She whispered.

"Really?" She nodded. "Mine says, 'My heart only beats for you.'"

"I love you, Jacob." She said as she snuggled closer to me.

"I love you, Bella. More than words can say." I buried my face into her hair, taking in her scent. "As much as I'd like you to sleep here in my arms, I'm guessing that the pack wants me already."

She chuckled then raised her head to my level. "Well then, Alpha, you better get going."

"Come on." I let her stand on the ground, held her hand and led her back to Emily who was with the pack.

Sam was hugging Emily when he let go and faced me.

"I'm guessing that the ten-minute time slot is done?" Sam asked me and the pack. The pack nodded. I wanted to disagree but I had to do the opposite.

"I don't want to agree as much as you do, Sam. Don't worry." I chuckled and gave Bella to Emily. "Take care of her, Emily. Alright?"

"She's in capable hands." Emily held the small of Bella's back and left to go the parking lot.

"Oh, Emily?" , "Oh, Bella?" Sam and I hesitated together.

"We'll walk you to the parking lot." I told them.

When we were at the parking lot, I said goodbye to Bella. Sam said the same for Emily.

"Take care of yourself, Emily." Sam told Emily. "Just come here if you need anything. Alright?" Sam kissed Emily's scar, eyes and lips. Final kiss for the day.

"You, little girl, stay out of trouble, alright?" I kissed her forehead. "I'm only going to be gone for a night. Try not to hurt yourself, okay?" Bella nodded and I helped her climb into the inside of Emily's car.

"I'm going to miss you." She told me and reached to give me one final kiss.

I kissed her with much gusto. Giving all my last bunches of love for the day. Tomorrow would be a new set of love, and the future would have more to come but right now, the present mattered.

I let her go and waved goodbye as Emily drove away into the main road. I sure do hope Bella would stay out of harm's way.

"We worry too much, Jacob." Sam said. He laughed and placed an arm over my shoulder.

"Yeah, I think so too." I responded and headed back to the camp where the pack would be waiting to pound on us. Hah, I retorted.

Bella. She was the only thought in my mind that I would never want to stop thinking about. Isabella Marie Swan.

**AN: I think Jacob is kinda awesome here. I'm in looooove. Review please? It'll warm the cockles of my icy heart. :D Thank you so much! Just a simple review wouldn't hurt, would it? :)**


	15. 14 You Can Never Trust Wolves

**AN: Next chapter. EPOV. Thanks to Team Effin' Jacob Black for supporting me. Thanks so much :) As for my other readers, keep reading! :D I hope you don't mind that I turn into different POVs. **

**EPOV:**

Today was good. I felt _good. _For the first time in a long time, I haven't broken down and refused Esme's left.

I realized that, yes, Bella was right. Being friends is healthy. There wasn't anything wrong with it. Just friends.

Sometimes, though, I can't fight the feeling that I get whenever I think of the word 'friends'. There's just that feeling of sadness because Bella would only look at me that way. We were just 'friends' and nothing else. I had to keep myself in check. Is it true that I'm still in love with Bella?

Maybe yes, maybe no but still . . .

"Edward, I'm proud of you." Esme said as I went through the front door. She hugged me tightly.

"I'm sorry?" I asked when I faced her.

"Alice told me." She smirked. It looked like she was so embarrassed about knowing. "I'm proud to know that my son never holds grudges against another person."

"Esme, I don't hold grudges."

"Most of the time you don't but I consider your distance from Bella as a grudge."

"Oh. Yes. You have to understand, Esme, that I kept my distance to keep from hurting myself. She's with Jacob now."

"I realize that, too. I'm still happy for you that you've decided to be there for her. Even if you're not. . . Well, you know what it is." She mumbled and ran towards the back door.

Esme was so much like a human mother. She had her emotions in check. She is so full of emotion that sometimes I, myself, couldn't take in her being a vampire.

_Nice work, _Alice interrupted my thoughts. _This was the vision that I've been keeping from you for months. _

"Thank you, Alice." I mumbled.

_Edward, I saw Bella in a vision somewhere in La Push earlier. I saw her sitting near a lake. I just don't know where. Hmm . . . _Alice pondered.

Alice showed me a vivid image of a forest with Bella sitting on a stone. It was a beautiful. I was still watching when the images suddenly faded away.

_That's everything. Maybe Jacob went near her that's why I couldn't see anything anymore. _My fists clenched at Jacob's name. I didn't hate him, but I didn't like him either.

"You want me to visit her?" I asked her, answering her thoughts.

_Sure, if you prefer. She's not in that place anymore though. I've had another one. She's with a tall girl. They drove to a brown house where Bella stays. Maybe that girl is from the reservation. _

"Is Bella going to come home to Charlie's?" I asked her as I positioned myself in front of the piano.

I suppressed a sigh, thinking about how Alice and I were talking right now. She was in her room right now but I could probably still hear her from there if she spoke.

"I'm not sure. The decision's not made yet." She said. Her voice was really out of reach that I barely heard anything even with vampire senses.

"I think I'm going to visit Jacob," a wry smile played on my lips. "After I finish this lullaby."

I played Esme's lullaby first. I could hear her chuckle as she was planting some sunflower seeds in her garden.

_Thank you, Edward. _Esme thought.

As I was nearing the end, I played a bridge and went on to Bella's lullaby.

I missed the days when I used to have her near me, hearing the music that inspired me. I missed the warmth of her smile, the liquid brown eyes that bore into mine, and the warm touch that always made my day.

No lullaby that I made could be greater than this one. I ended the lullaby, stood from my seat, and started finding the place that I saw in Alice's vision.

It would be hard to find that place in the forest. It was an hour before midnight.

_Edward, _Alice chimed in my thoughts. _Bella is sleeping for the night at her house. The girl I saw earlier is driving her home. They're near the boundary line now. _

Perfect.

I would visit Bella. Of course, she wouldn't know if I was there. She might fall into deep sleep the moment she laid on her bed. Therefore, I was visit Jacob _first. _I simply needed to find that place . . .

Almost thirty minutes have passed since I've tried to find the place. To my luck, I've found it. It was exactly like Alice's vision except it was darker. There was the lake, lush trees, and cabins.

I tried to search for Jacob in the midst of the dark night. There was no one except for a group of girls in the lake and a crowd of teenage boys surrounding the campfire. The boys caught my attention. As I looked closer, the group had one girl.

The boys, including the one girl, looked very tall even if they were seated. They had large and muscular bodies. They looked like wolves.

I went closer, still hid by the trees, to get a better look. I spotted Jacob.

As I went closer and closer, I felt that I might be spotted by someone but to my surprise, I was wrong. I was still securely hidden.

For a moment there, I thought the wolf pack was drunk. Liquor filled the air I was breathing in. It was disgusting. My eyes widened as I took it all in, they really were _drunk. _

Every one of the boys were laughing boisterously, catching the attention of the girls in the lake. A sort of intuition kicked me in the gut as I realized what could happen here. There were a group of girls here, and drunk teenage boys there.

Oh no. Oh no, no, no.

I tried to stop myself from thinking of those things because they weren't going to happen. Jacob knew that he had a girlfriend and he was not going to go to do something stupid. The other boys, seemingly to have girlfriends as well, were next in my fear list.

I tried to shut myself. My thoughts are not going to happen. These are just mine and not theirs. I don't control what they're thinking. I couldn't control myself. I felt like I was Alice sensing the future.

It's now three in the morning and they are still up. Wonderful, I thought sarcastically; all the more reason for foolishness.

So many events have progressed since the time I've come to watch. The girls that were swimming in the lake were finally out and one of the blonde girls named Sacha was flirting with Jacob.

The group of girls went to drink with the pack and most of them were also flirting with the pack. One of the werewolf's sister, Leah, was disgusted by what she saw. She didn't drink and I was thankful that she decided long ago not to.

The moment that I've been thinking of has finally come to life. I knew it.

Jacob accepted all of Sacha's flirting since he passed out really drunk. The next thing I knew, Sacha—who was also drunk—started kissing Jacob. The thoughts of Sacha were all blurry but I can pick out what she wanted most out of Jacob now: sex.

I can barely watch with all of this stupidity. I thought of Bella, safe and sound in her own home now; barely aware that Jacob was out doing something that he will forever regret. Because of Jacob, the urge to visit Bella now was stronger than ever. I wanted to tell her what is happening.

I fought with myself because if I ever told Bella, she'd walk away from it. Not _it, _but she'd walk away from me. She'd tell me that I was lying and think that I'm bringing Jacob down because . . . _I still love her. _It was true that I still loved her but I didn't like achieving her wrongly and blackmailing the one she chose to be with.

"Jacob, right?" Sacha said from where she sat, holding on to Jacob's shirt.

"Yeah, babe." Jacob said, obviously drunk to the core.

"I wonder . . ." She batted her eyelashes. "Can we go to your cabin?" Sacha started pulling Jacob by the shirt, heading for the cabin.

"Sure." Jacob mumbled. He kissed Sacha some more and carried her into the cabin. Sacha was only wearing her bikini suit and a see-through shirt.

The wolf pack howled in delight. They were so drunk that they barely thought of Jacob's relationship with Bella. Leah Clearwater tried stopping Jacob but he was not shook in the slightest bit. I was thankful for Leah's efforts right now but her failure caused me to tense again.

"Jacob, stop this! Are you so aware that you're with Bella?" Leah scolded Jacob, making him stop in his tracks, his hand on the cabin door's handle.

"As much as I'd like to agree, Leah-kins," Jacob started. Leah made a face at her false nickname. "But no, I don't _care _at all."

"Well, sure, Jacob." Leah screamed. I hope she wasn't waking anyone else. "I just hope you'll regret this. I've never seen you like this. You've been drunk before, yes, but it wouldn't get to the point that you're willing to hurt Bella. Your Bella. Doesn't that make any sense at all?"

"No, it doesn't. So . . . me and Sacha are going to head on inside." Jacob answered. Isn't he aware of what is at stake here?

"Jacob! Stop this." Sam shouted, trying to find his voice. He was also drunk but he refused the flirts of the girls beside him.

"We're both connected to someone, Jacob! Don't you realize how much you would hurt Bella?" He scolded. To Jacob, though, it barely made any sense.

Jacob's thoughts were screwed. They were all disgusting. Every one of the boys has filled himself with thoughts unforgivable.

"Dude, you have to listen!" Leah's brother, Seth, said. "I won't stop myself in telling Bella what you've done." I have to agree. I won't control myself either. I wanted so much to scream at Jacob too.

"Look, even if every one of you stop me, I don't care! I don't care if I hurt Bella, I don't care if you tell her. Leave me alone! This is my life." He went inside with Sacha and closed the door.

I uprooted a young tree with the anger that had overcome me. My fists were clenched real tight that I might consider my bones breaking through my tough skin. The anger that I felt was over the top. I wanted to attack Jacob right now.

All of them looked dumbfounded. Having the rest of them to realize the flirts beside them, they stood up and explained to them that they were not having some life with these girls.

"I'm sorry." Each one of them said to the girls who didn't even need their apologies.

I felt sad for each one of the boys in the wolf pack. They didn't deserve this kind of treatment.

The thoughts in my head that were coming from the cabin was something I wanted to burn. These were the times that I regretted having the ability to know the thoughts of others even if I didn't mean to intrude.

Next to thoughts were the sounds coming from it. It was unbearable. I didn't want to listen to it. I didn't want it to come near my ears either. But I had stop Jacob.

I fought the disgusting thoughts I had in my mind and went into the back of the cabin. Entering ever so fast that neither Jacob or Sacha could hear the noise.

And there I stood, trying my best to ignore my sense of sight right now. I gathered myself and mumbled in the lowest volume that Jacob could here.

"Jacob," I whispered. I braced myself to welcome the events that will come in a few mere seconds.

**AN: The hell? Jacob is cheating, I know. Right from that kiss while they were still near the lake. I knew it was bad of Bella not to join them. What would Jacob do? Most importantly, what would **_**Edward **_**do? Will they fight? **

**Thanks for reading again. And review, please. I want to know how mad or happy you are with what just happened. Thoughts are welcome. **

**Click that button down there that says, "Review this chapter". Thank you! :)**


	16. 15 Hate and Love

**AN: Another dose of EPOV. If I write this in Jacob's POV then nothing good will really come out. Jacob's barely aware of what he's doing, like most drunk people.**

**Don't get me wrong, I'm more on Team Jacob rather than Edward right now. :P**

**Team Edward: Edward's the hero for now. Haha. Enjoy! :)**

**EPOV: **

Jacob stopped in his actions. He looked towards my direction but couldn't see anything. I was well hidden in the darkness of the cabin. He suppressed a sigh. In his thoughts, he recognized me now.

"Hello pup," I greeted him angrily, much angrier and louder than I expected.

"Jacob?" Sacha murmured, whose head was tucked in the blanket. I could see clearly that she was resting on Jacob's chest. "Did you say something?"

"Shh. Go to sleep, alright?" He kissed Sacha's hair. "Thank you, by the way. That was wonderful."

The smell of liquor filled the cabin.

_So, what brings you here? _Jacob thought. He lifted himself to sit down. He was half naked.

"I'm surprised that you haven't forgotten my ability to read minds." I whispered in the dark.

_Oh, I wouldn't forget that, bloodsucker. _

"I thought you'd forget it the way you forgot that you were connected to Bella."

_Bella's easy to dismiss, bloodsucker. You reading minds isn't. _

"So are you trying to point out that Bella's not important anymore?" I could hear Sacha's snores now.

_You disgust me. _Jacob snorted. _She's nothing compared to this goddess right here. Besides, Bella is so hard to figure out. Sacha was no problem at all. _

My teeth clenched together. How could he say that? Doesn't he realize how lucky he is with Bella?

_So are you speechless now, bloodsucker? _

"No, not quite." I responded. "I'm just trying to figure out if shredding you to pieces after Bella finds out would be a problem."

_You wouldn't. _It caught him off guard.

"I would, Jacob Black. Bella is my friend now. I would do everything in order to protect her."

_Since when were you friends with her? _He asked disgustedly.

"Since yesterday when you were here all day with the wolf pack."

_You're giving her more problems, leech. More reason to think of _you.

"She's not in love with me, Jacob." I stuttered but deep in me, I was fumbling with myself. Is it true?

_Yes, she is. Stupid. That's why I'm with Sacha. Bella keeps thinking of you but she doesn't notice that I notice it. _

"That's obnoxious. I don't believe you. You are _drunk, _Jacob. _Drunk._"

_No, I'm not. _I tried not to hear the falseness of Jacob's thoughts. It was ridiculous.

I could hear the thoughts of Leah, Sam and Seth. They were heading towards the cabin with good and bad intentions. It might be better to let their thoughts happen rather than just listen to it in their head.

After a few seconds, there was a bang on the door. Sacha stirred and woke but Jacob calmed her. She suddenly became nervous.

In her thoughts, she was afraid that Jacob's friends would 'pound' on her. She knew too much about Jacob that included Bella.

"Allow me." I whispered to Jacob.

There was no light that would make Sacha see me. I took large strides and opened the locks on the door. When the door opened, I walked away from the wolves and returned to same place where I stood before: the corner near the back door.

Sacha sat now with fear overcoming her senses. She wanted to run away as much as the wolves wanted her to do so.

"Edward? Is that you? We can smell you from here." Sam muttered.

"Hello Sam," I greeted him in the dark. "I wouldn't like to go near. I think that it isn't safe to do so."

"We've come for the same reason, Edward." He responded.

"Who's Edward?" Seth and Leah say at the same time.

"Edward is Bella's . . ."

"Past lover." I finished Sam's sentence. My jaws glued themselves together with those two words.

"Oh." Was all Seth could say. His thoughts registered that I am a vampire.

"You're correct, Seth. I am a . . ." I remembered Sacha was still here. "member of the Cullen family."

"Okay, enough." Jacob said. Seemingly furious but still unconscious of his senses.

"You girl, get out." Leah spat. That was the only signal that Sacha was waiting for. She ran as quick through the door and past the wolf pack outside.

"Well there goes my girl." Jacob spat at them. "Thanks."

"Oh we won't wait, Jacob, for another girl to get out of your life." Sam said between his teeth.

"What are you talking about?" Jacob said, all whiny.

"Jacob, wake up, _you are Bella's boyfriend._" Seth chewed out the words one by one.

"What part of '_I don't care_' don't you understand? Are wolves really that stupid?" Jacob retorted. I wanted to tear him to shreds right now.

"Well, wolf, if you're saying that we're stupid then that means you are oopids day too." Leah seriously joked.

"I'm sorry?" I wanted to laugh at Leah's thoughts right now.

"Oopids day."

"Huh?"

"Oopids day?" she repeated. Jacob silenced, trying to figure out what it meant. "You are _stupid!_" Leah screamed.

"Oh." Was all Jacob could say.

"We have to let Jacob sleep." I recommended. "Bickering with Jacob won't do us any good right now. If only you could hear his thoughts, you would feel exactly the same way that I do."

"I guess you're right, Edward." Sam responded.

The four of us were headed towards the front door. I did not fear anymore of leaving through this door; the pack already knew that I was in on this.

Jacob sat there on the bed, trying to clear his thoughts but the next thing I knew, he was dreaming of ponies. What a weird dream for a manly teen.

When we reached the place of the pack in the campfire, Sam motioned his hand beside him. He was motioning me to sit down. It wasn't really such a good idea. The other wolf, namely Paul, was conscious of my being here. He wanted to attack.

"Sam, I don't think Paul wants me nearer that where I am standing right now."

_Oh, that's alright, Edward. I'm sorry._ Sam replied.

"It's alright." I answered his thoughts. "So what do you plan to do with Jacob?"

_Well, telling the council might be a good option right there. _

"I don't see why this needs to be reported, Sam."

_Jacob is Alpha. He neglected his responsibilities. _Oh. Jacob is Alpha. _I know Bella is not the object of Jacob's _imprint_—you may not know what that is, I'll explain later—but better yet, he treats her like one. So, yes, Bella is the person that Jacob needs to be faithful too. _

"Can't they reason that Jacob was just drunk?"

_No, they can't. They would just backfire a question like, "Then why didn't he control his urge to drink?". Something like that. This is the pack's fault anyway. We made him drink too much. My apologies towards Bella. _

It didn't feel right anymore. _This _didn't feel right. It was out of place.

I looked at the pack who was staring silently at the dying inferno in front of them, not intruding anymore into their thoughts. I didn't want to know what they were thinking but it looked like it bombarded my mind.

Leah and Seth were thinking about Bella and Jacob. While the others simply thought about the drunk state they were in right now.

"Sam, I need to go."

_Alright. Goodbye Edward. Thank you for your patience towards Jacob. _

I headed towards the direction of Bella's house, running as fast as I can. I hope that she's fast asleep.

When I reached Bella's house, I saw Charlie riding his cruiser and drive away. It was nearing dawn.

I climbed swiftly towards Bella's window and found it open so I entered ever so silently. And then I saw her.

Bella was tucked into bed, her hair spread wildly around her as she slept. Her skin was the same pale color.

I smile played along my lips.

And as always, she was talking in her sleep. I could never get enough of Bella when she sleeps. Even if she says so little, I can already tell what she's dreaming about.

"Edward." Bella said. I took caution because I thought she was already awake, but her eyelids were closed. I fretted, because she could see me from where I stood if she opened her eyes.

Bella continued to stir in her bed and I grew tenser by the second. If she stirred a lot, then that meant that she was going to wake soon. She continued to mention—one by one—the names of her family members: Charlie, Renee, and Phil. It got me wondering why she would say my name. I wasn't in her family. I would never be.

"Edward!" She shook and rose from her sleeping posture. "Edward?" She muttered. Did she know I was here? Bella continued to feel the bed and mumble my name.

I suddenly remembered the time when she used to search for me when I wasn't beside her. Oh how I missed those times. Her hair, after a restless sleep, a large haystack and her scent as powerful as ever.

"Oh." Bella said. "Oh, right. Edward's not here. Edward isn't supposed to be here. Jacob should be. . ."

"Bella?" I interrupted her mumbles. She started looking towards my direction, blinking a few times so that she could see. I chuckled. "Bella, you won't be able to see me no matter how often you blink."

"Edward, what are you doing here?" She asked. Her tone was more of welcoming rather than the tone of intrusion. I was intruding, so she should use that one. But then again, she always surprises me.

"I . . . just happened to pass by." I told her. I don't know what to tell her. I didn't want her to know about Jacob on the reservation . . .

"How long have you been here?"

"A minute or two."

"Oh no." She said and even in the darkness, I saw her blush. The color was so beautiful.

"What is it?" I chuckled.

"Did I say anything?" She continued, embarrassed.

"Yes, actually. You mentioned Charlie's name as well as Renee's and Phil's." She suppressed a sigh. "You also said my name."

I could feel her tense and her heart race faster, her breathing became labored. I was going to stop her. Her actions weren't necessary right now.

"I'm sorry." She told me. What was she sorry for?

"Bella," I chuckled, heading towards her bed and sitting on the edge. "you are apologizing because of dreams that you can't control. That's not a capital offense."

"Yes, but dreams create themselves from an object that a person really wants or needs." I saw her blush continue. And suddenly, everything became silent.

I didn't know if I wanted to do this. I don't know if what I am doing is right or wrong. In whatever step I take that includes Bella would always be wrong. There is no lie in that thought. It was true.

**AN: Oh my God. I just feel really giggly right now. OK, that's it! I'm Team Switzerland! Review please. I love you, readers. You make my day. For those who placed me in their favorite authors and this as a favorite story, thank you. I really appreciate it. For those who placed me in their alert list, I'm thankful too :) For my readers who review, I really really really love you. :D Keep reading, alright? :D**


	17. 16 How Weak and Torn Can I Get?

**AN: Another chapter! I really can't avoid getting Bella tied up with Edward. It's like they're magnets that you can't pull apart from the fridge. :P**

**EPOV: **

I lifted my hand to touch Bella's cheek but I hesitated. Was I going to be right this time? That to protect Bella meant I was to be with her again? I had to think this through. There will always be a way to protect Bella even if she isn't what I want her to be. If she didn't want me, then it would be alright. I would sacrifice that for her in order to keep her safe.

Bella touched my outstretched hand and pulled it towards her warm cheek. It felt good for once; to know something I had not expected.

"Tell me what you're thinking." I told her gently as she pulled me beside her.

"I'm thinking of how this is going to work out in the end." Bella said, her hands on mine.

"Keep thinking." I told her. I wanted to tell her already. No, not Jacob's mistake but. . . "Bella, I can't stay away from you anymore. I can't take that pain on my shoulders. I know it's selfish but I don't . . ."

I was stopped short when I heard sobs coming from Bella. I wiped a teardrop from her cheek and wondered, what could make Bella sob?

"I would want that too, you know." She said in between her sobs. "I feel like I'm committing a crime. Why am I selfish, Edward? Tell me, please."

"You're not selfish, Bella." I retrieved my hand from her warm touch and sat on the bed. I would not force myself into this.

"But why do I want two and not one? Isn't it supposed to work that way? You're supposed to love one and not two." She responded. I felt like I was hurting her too much now. Maybe Jacob was right; the closer our distance, the better chance that we will lose each other.

"You are merely human." I told her.

"Edward," She yanked at my arm, trying unsuccessfully. "We're just friends, right?" She asked, ignoring my statement.

"Yes Bella." I told her grimly. As much as I wanted something more than that, I could not. I was out of control now.

"Then why are we here?" She wondered. I wanted to know the same thing.

"That's not within our reach anymore, I suppose." I suggested. "I'm tired of being the one who knows what, Bella. For the first time in my life, I want to know why I'm here. Why I'm not in love with someone else and why I'm still in love with you even though it already hurts just trying to do so."

"Can't we try again?" She asked.

"That's the most unlikely solution that would work. You see, Bella," I said as I faced her. "everything we do together will always hurt one of us. I can see it in you Bella, I can also say the same for myself."

"Edward," she stuttered. "I can't do this anymore."

"Then don't." I stood and kissed her forehead. "Goodbye, Bella."

I jumped out the window, letting my mind take over my senses.

"Edward, wait." Bella said, but I was already on solid ground.

I ran as far away as I could until I could keep myself in check. What just happened back there? Was I dreaming? No, I could not be dreaming. Vampires couldn't sleep. It was preposterous to think of such a thing.

I slowed my walk until I was about a mile away from home. I could already here the thoughts of Rosalie and Emmett as well as Esme and Carlisle's. Alice could already sense my distance as she was already bombarding questions into my head. I was not in the mood to talk right now.

I composed myself and put on a complete poker face. No one except Alice needed to know about what happened. That moment with Bella was on the list of memories that I would burn. I did not completely regret what had happened but I somehow disliked it because it wasn't how I wanted it to be. I should not have gotten what I wanted.

Why did I have to be so open towards Bella? Never in my life have I asked a woman back in my life.

Well, of course I do not know. Bella was the only woman I loved. I wanted it to be that way for all eternity.

_Edward, what did you _do? Alice said as I entered the house. I checked on myself. Yes, a complete poker face.

"That's none of your business, Alice." I muttered through my teeth. "And I'm pretty sure you know what happened."

"I'm not _asking _about what you did, Edward. I am not an idiot to ask such a question. I meant to say, why did you do it? Wouldn't you know the consequences?" Alice hissed as I entered her room.

"Again, Alice, it is none of your business."

"Then I'm sorry I ever intruded!" She shouted. "I'm sorry that I don't understand you enough to know why you did that." Alice sarcastically said.

Alice turned around, her back to me, and looked out the window. Her expression was pained.

I should not have to be like this to her. I should not be like this to anybody. But I have to ask myself, _why am I losing control? _Ever since I left Bella, I've always lost control. Now that I've gone to see her, it's like nothing has changed. I am still out of control. I barely know myself anymore. What was happening?

"Alice, I'm sorry." I held her left arm. "I don't know what's happening anymore. I'm not in control, I'm not anywhere near the trudges of peace, I'm not anywhere near my old self. I'm sorry, Alice."

She turned around and smiled warmly at me. "That's alright, Edward. I forgive you." She said and hugged me.

"You have to help me, sister. You're the only one I can rely on besides Esme." I asked of her.

"Oh, and you don't rely on me?" Carlisle suddenly interjected. He was resting on Alice's doorframe, a smug smile on his face. Esme was peeking from Carlisle's left shoulder with wary eyes.

"Yes, of course I do. But I wouldn't think you'd understand, Carlisle." I told him. I felt ashamed. Why had I also not trusted Carlisle?

"Edward, I understand wholly everything that involves you. I understand you like Alice and Esme does. Is that not right, Esme?" He pulled Esme's one arm and placed an arm over her shoulder. He kissed her forehead and laughed.

"So, Esme and Carlisle, what do you think Edward needs?" Alice little voice chimed in. "I'm not getting any results right now in my head. We might as well think of one solution and then maybe that result will come creeping into my head." She laughed. "And maybe Edward would now too."

"Keep it from me, please, Alice." I asked her. "I don't want to get my future planned out for me."

"Alright, then. No showing of visions." Alice stuck her tongue at me.

"Edward," Esme said. "why don't you just do whatever is right? You love Bella, isn't that so? Then why don't you just keep on loving her . . . from a distance?"

That was certainly one idea that I would never have imagined doing. It was as impossible as hell. It was purgatory to love her from a distance.

"I . . . I don't think that's going to turn out good, Esme." Alice objected. "It would make it harder for the two of them. Bella loves Edward still."

"That makes it complicated, son." Carlisle placed a hand on the small of my back. "Bella's not fully aware of what this may do to her relationship with Jacob. Since Jacob is the Alpha of the pack—"

"Oh, I'm not sure if Jacob will still be." I laughed. It was true. Jacob might not be the Alpha anymore.

Esme looked puzzled. It meant that Alice was good. "Should I know what that means?" She asked.

"No, not really." Alice said. She giggled.

"Well, anyway," Carlisle continued. "Since Jacob is a powerful member of the pack, he might use that as an advantage to take revenge on you, Edward." He added.

"I welcome it with open arms." I replied. "I have a plan of revenge for him too, you know."

"Do what pleases you, son." Esme advised. "But come what may, I do not want everything to end up badly; as in, war and treaties broken."

"Yes, Esme." I gladly said.

In times like these, Bella's happiness was the only thing that I wanted to achieve. No matter how bad everything is for me, I would just like her to be the one who is happy and I to suffer.

Alice would now know how everything would turn out in the end, but I am not following whatever path I chose to achieve Alice's vision. I had a different plan on my sleeves.

Yes, I would go back to Bella's house. I wasn't going to wake her anymore though. That was not the plan. I would give her a gift. I was a friend, right? I might as well do what friends do.

**AN: Okay, I just feel that 15 & 16 is so off. *sighs* Why's that? I wonder. Those chapters don't have that hold-on-to-your-seat edge. Hmm. Anyway, please review. I want to know if you agree with me or not :D What's Edward's gift? :P**


	18. 17 Humorous Revenge

**AN: Okay. This is the chapter that I've written on April 13, 2009. Haha. Amazing, isn't it. It used to be chapter 7 but I have made the story longer. It sounded really stupid because the plot was introduced quickly. Enjoy! :) **

BPOV

It's been two days since Edward's visit through my window. It's been two days since I last saw Jacob.

I've been wondering lately what Jacob's been pestering about when I'm not around. Maybe I should go check his place out. You know. . . a surprise visit.

I look outside the window, and surprised to see that Charlie's cruiser is still on the driveway. Maybe he's got some fancy fishing plans with Billy? If it was Billy's, then I could get him to drive me to Jacob's place.

I jumped off the bed still feeling a little shaky and sick. I grabbed my bag of toiletries and scurried off to the bathroom.

Ahh. The hot water. It feels so nice having the hot water on my tired muscles. I've been stressing lately, I guess. To my surprise, a scrub appears on the hook near the shower. I bet Charlie's finally decided to get one after I did my commentary about his dry skin. As I examine it carefully, I think to myself that this cannot be Charlie's anymore. It's in my favorite hue, which is emerald. Embedded with gold stones, and my name outlined on the handle. B-E-L-L-A, it says. But who would give me such a gift?

I stopped wondering on my scrub, and continued what I continually planned to do in the shower: clean up after myself. I grabbed that Victoria's Secret soap that Mom has shipped off, and pour some on the scrub. It feels bloody nice, after all.

"Dad, can I get a ride to Jake's place?" I asked him.

"Sure, Bells. Anyway, I was going to the First Beach to meet Billy. Fishing plans."

"Yeah, I know. So are you ready?"

"The question is, are you?"

"Yes, Dad. I have been ready since the time I asked you."

"Ok then, Bells. So let's go then, shall we?"

We rode in the cruiser off to the reservation. Charlie and I had to talk boys. Oh God, was he becoming more like Renee now? He was talking boys! He would never even talk about that kind of stuff.

"Dad, wait a minute. Why are we talking about boys?"

"Isn't that what you want?" He pried. "Talking about Jacob and Edward. Isn't that what you want?" He repeated.

"No, not quite. I'd rather talk about cars, and fishing, and clothes."

"Whoa, whoa. Easy, Bella I was just kidding. You've been too serious lately."

"I have?"

"Yes! For the past two days, it kinda stinks really. My steak has been too plain. My fish fry has been too salty when you're off mood. Is there something you'd like to talk about?" says Charlie with a smile on his face. I suddenly remember that scrub in the shower.

"Dad? Have you been spending lately?"

"No, the last time I spent was tint for the cruiser. Why?" He smirks a little, and then goes back to his original face.

"Well, when I went into the shower, I saw a scrub. Well, I thought it was yours since I commented on your skin," he suddenly burst into laughter. "but then when I took a closer look, it was emerald, and had gold embedded on it. It had my name on it as well."

"No, honey. I'm afraid I haven't bought you anything. You know how I am."

"Yeah, I do. So do you have any hunch on who it might be?"

"Afraid not. Maybe a vampire went in." He laughed boisterously, and I was caught off guard.

"Dad..." saying with a voice that doesn't seem like mine. "Of all the magical creatures in this world, you choose a vampire. I mean, it doesn't make any sense. At all."

"Well, I've been reading Anne Rice's novels. I've been believing in vampires… in my head." He laughs again. He doesn't know how true that is right now.

Charlie dropped me off at Jacob's place and I had this sudden urge to just leave it and run out of this reservation. The creepy sound in my stomach, racing heartbeat, weak legs, what was wrong with me? With all my might, I try and walk. And with much luck, I was able to push open the unlocked door of Jacob's home, of course after calling out his name a few times.

His house had an awful smell. When was the last time he cleaned the house? Oh God, I thought... I thought...

"Bella? Bella! Wake up, Bella!" I hear. Jacob. I try and open my eyes with all my might. But I still can't.

It must've took Jacob a few minutes to call my name until my eyes flutter open, and see his adorable face. He smiled right after he saw my open eyes, and that made me smile weakly. I try and stand up but instead, Jacob's hand pushes me back down and he carries me in his arms.

"What… What happened?" I happen to ask him.

"Bella, babe, I'm not sure what happened. But what I can guess is that you've fainted."

"What did you just call me?" I responded, ignoring his information.

"Oh... sorry." He looks away for a few minutes, and then his eyes return to mine again. "When I went down, I saw you lying on the floor. You fainted."

"Yeah, because of that horrid smell in your house. Since when do you clean anyway?" He ignores my question, and laughs.

"I just cleaned. Just now, before you coughed and shook and I called your name to wake you up." I noticed that I smelled lemon, maybe he _did_ clean. Wow, what a miracle.

"Okay, so, maybe you _did_ clean." I laughed and just kissed his cheek.

"Bella, you don't know how much that relieved me." He smiles and then kisses my lips.

I giggled when we started making out, but Edward entered my mind. I didn't know why he entered my mind. And I suddenly remembered the early morning he went to my house. I guess I should tell Jacob that. Edward was kind of a jerk for going there. Suddenly, I had _that _thought. The thought that, yes, I loved Edward.

"Jacob. I have to tell you something." I told him lowly.

"What is it, baby girl?" he manages to say, smiling at his own joke.

"Don't call me that. Just Bella, please."

"Okay, _Bella._" He says sympathetically _and _erratically.

"Jake, Edward went to my room through the window." He seemed so shocked to hear what I just said, but it looked like he was hiding something.

"Mine... Mine too during the 'getaway'. He was spying, wasn't he?" He stutters.

"I guess you could put it that way."

"What the hell is he doing there?" He was obviously mad. Maybe jealous? "And when?"

"Two days ago, Jake. I don't know. I obviously didn't hire him as my body guard. I already have you." I tried to make a joke. But I guess he was too proliferated at that incident. "Is something wrong?" I cupped his face with my hands and looked into his eyes.

"No. It's just that... he went to my cabin. At that same day and time. Well, not maybe the same time. Maybe it was around 3 in the morning." His eyes were deep. They were hiding something, obviously.

And then the endless hunch for Edward had begun. The whole afternoon was planned for Edward. We would consult him tomorrow and ask what his problem was. Maybe even unleash the inner vampire in him when we're in school, I laughed at that thought. Yeah, right.

Jake wanted to humiliate Edward in front of the whole student body, just for what he's done. For some reason, I feel that he's getting very overboard with this kind of revenge plans. And I simply don't know why and what to do.

At the same time, I also didn't want to do this. This wasn't one of the things on my to-do list. I didn't want to spend all afternoon doing this—planning revenge towards Edward. Revenge was not a proper reply to what he did two days ago. In fact, it was a wish long ago that was granted. I was somehow thankful for his visit. I had told him everything that was needed. There was no doubt in that.

I woke up to the sunny morning in Jacob's arms. Well, we didn't do anything. That's for sure. I could see the rising sun very clearly, and I can hear the loud snoring of Charlie in the guest room. God, what a day. I stayed at Jacob's place last night since Charlie and Billy went home drunk. Billy couldn't drive, and so can't Jacob. They wouldn't even let Charlie drive home with me! I should have driven Charlie home myself but Jacob and Billy didn't allow it so what we all did was stay at Jacob's.

I got Jacob in wolf form last night and ran to our house, riding on his back. I got some clothes for Charlie and for mine as well; for school at the very least. I couldn't go to school wearing all this. . .

"Good morning, Bella." Greets Jacob with a kiss on the forehead. "How was your dream?"

"Very good." I replied. I wanted to tell him, "I dreamt of you and Edward fighting in the meadows." But when I thought it over, I thought that it wasn't such a good idea.

"So... do you want to eat? Bacon and eggs, I'll cook!" he says with a leap of joy.

"Yeah, sure. Just make sure to skimp on the olive oil." And with that, I laughed.

"Yeah sure, Bella. I love you." He kisses my forehead and leaps with more enthusiasm than necessary.

A few minutes later, I could hear the sweet smell of honey cured bacon and some eggs. Jacob must cook really delicious bacon, I thought. Anyway cleaning the house is never related to cooking, right? Hmmm. Smells delicious. Without my own will, (as if my legs have a mind of its own) I jumped out of the cotton bed and run downstairs with much energy.

"Hmm. Smells delicious, darling." I mutter Jacob's ear while I was hugging him.

"Does it? It still smells the same to me. The only thing in the world that smells differently good is your scent."

Crap. Crap. Crap. That took me off guard. I removed my arms from Jacob's waist, remembering the moment and day that Edward told me the ideally same thing.

"_Your scent is like a drug to me. Like my own personal brand of heroin." Edward whispers into my ear. _

"Bella? Sweetie, are you okay?" Jacob whispers into my ear. I found myself sitting down on the dining table, staring at nothing.

"Here. You have to eat." He placed the plate on the table. The bacon forming a smile, and the eggs making the eyes. I suddenly laughed with that.

"Very nice." I managed to say.

"Hmm. That's what I like about you. The boring things that I do amaze you. It just takes me away." And then kisses me on the cheek. "I wanna see you scarf it down, but I have to do some things upstairs. I'll see you later."

**AN: Like it? Review please :) I'll update in more or less, 2 days. :D ENJOY ! :)**


	19. 18 Love Versus Myself

**AN: This is the eighth chapter that I've written for last year's edition of Stuck. Now it's the 18****th**** chapter. There are so many grammatical errors that I had to edit. Enjoy! I keep on skipping into Edward's POV. Hope you don't mind. :D **

EPOV:

"THAT DAMN RANCID DOG! STUPID DOG!" I shout angrily at Alice. My temper has reached its highest level, thanks to Jacob the dog.

"Wait, wait. Why are you _that _angry? Bella never slept with Jacob. Just _literally. _No sex. God, Edward!" says Alice in a shrilly voice.

"No, what I am most outraged of is wherein Bella agreed to take revenge on _me_." I responded in an unusual way.

"God, Edward! Cut that 1910's crap!" Rosalie interrupted. "You _have_ to let go of Bella! Who dumped him—you. Who had a broken heart, her. Who didn't love her anymore, you. So get o—"

"I still love Bella! Doesn't anyone believe Carlisle? Believe me? Believe Esme? Alice? This is hell." I spat at Rosalie. She dare not say that about Bella!

"How the hell did you know about her plans?" Alice asks.

"Alice, am I stupid? Do I _look _stupid? What do you think I am? A human? I read your mind for God's sake."

"OK STOP EVERYONE! THIS IS CAUSING US A MESS! EDWARD, KITCHEN. NOW!" Esme shouts.

Oh for God's sake, I haven't caused that much of a trouble. Well, maybe I've overdone it a little.

"Do you want to tell me what exactly is going on? I thought we just talked about this?" Esme calmly asks.

"I'm sorry. What the hell is wrong with me, Esme? I just can't figure it out."

"YOU CAN'T GET OVER BELLA, YOU STUPID MORON!" Rosalie shouts from the living room. _Everything you did for Bella was nothing, Edward. Nothing. _She adds.

"Shut the hell up, Rosalie. Just shut up." I spat at her. I know she could hear me.

"Edward." Says Esme. "I'm worried about you. Carlisle is. You're siblings are, especially Alice."

"Mother, I don't feel that Rosalie cares about what's even happening. She kept on screaming and tormenting me about Bella ruining her complexion." I suddenly felt the need to laugh.

"Oh, Edward." Esme laughs calmly.

We were having a mother-and-son moment when Rosalie entered the kitchen so fast and then hit me on the head. God, it hurt. I didn't even hear her thoughts. Does she really run that fast?

"And I did _not_ say anything about Bella ruining my complexion." Rosalie ruefully answers.

"Yes, you did. You told Emmett and me when we went hunting days ago." I rolled my eyes at her.

"Esme!" she winces "Can't you shut your son up? He's really irritating."

"No, she can't." I said in amusement.

"Yes, I can dear." Esme says and turns to face me. "Edward, shut up."

Before I could even take in what she said, there were peals of laughter all around the house. Carlisle, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and even Esme were laughing. It reduced my sorrow a little, but after that laughing I thought of Bella again. Who knew a vampire could be this sad?

I looked at the time and almost shriek, we're going to be late for class. I wanted to laugh some more and take this pain away, but I would do anything just to see Bella.

"Guys, I hate to break it, but we need to go. We're going to be late." I chime in. They all glance at their watches and then each and every one of them gives me an awkward expression.

"Edward, dude, if we leave now we will be an hour early." Emmett utters. What? An hour early? Are they mad?

_Edward, I must agree. It will be an hour early. _Alice says.

The rest of them just mumbled that it will be an hour early. I've never actually noticed it, maybe someone screwed my watch. They will pay.

"Okay, very funny, guys. Who screwed with my watch?"

There was prolonged silence. Each of their minds was innocent. Well, except for Jasper and Emmett's. Their thoughts have been giving me a hunch that one of them did it. Crap.

"Okay, king of all women," says Emmett, raising his hands as if he was called by the police. "You won. I screwed it up. I'd buy a new one, if I were you. That watch sucks."

"Emmett, shut up. This was my father's, Edward Masen Sr." I retort. I look at my watch as if it was a baby and touch the glass. As I touch it, I began to feel cracks. Of course it had cracks. It was old.

"Oooh! Gucci is on sale, Edward! We could find you a watch!" says Alice. I blocked her thoughts. She was driving me mad, she was screaming and screaming 'Edward! Take me with you! Pleaassseeeee.'

"Can you keep your thoughts to yourself, Alice? You are driving me inexplicably mad. With all that Gucci, Prada, Louis Vuitton. Nobody even notices the price tags."

"Yes they do!"

"They do? Don't tell me we still have the price tags on when we're out of this house?" I pretended searching the back of my shirt, searching for a price tag. "Esme!"

"Yes, dear?" she answers.

"Do you remove the price tags whenever you wash our clothes? You know,

Maybe it's the reason why people stare at us." I said matter-of-factly. I wanted to laugh right now.

"Aside from our being beautiful?" Emmett booms in. I looked at Rosalie, who stares back scornfully.

"You call _her _beautiful, Emmett?" I say, pointing to Rosalie, and this time I could've sworn smoke was coming out of Rosalie's ears.

"Oh ha-ha, Masen!" She answers ignorantly and sticks out her tongue out like a five-year-old.

"Of course you are, Rose." Emmett stares at her, and then suddenly, with a flash of light, they make out. Eww. Gross.

"GET A ROOM!" The rest of them, including me, shout.

An hour later, I couldn't find anything to do but think of Bella. All of those memories I've had, all the memories we've had together, how she shivered when I was near her. There it was, every single tidal wave hitting me as if it were drowning me ever so gently.

The pain is relentless in its fate. I can't take it anymore. I _need _Bella back in my life! I can't take my life as it is. I can't bear having plain human scents and unblocked thoughts. I want drug-like scents and mysteriously blocked thoughts. I used to hate it, I know. Getting used to it is an addictive habit.

Bella. Her chocolate brown eyes, reddish brown hair, sweet scent, and iridescent temperature. I need her. I love her. And I need her because I love her.

Out of my own will, I find myself standing on the doorstep of our house. What in God's name am I doing out here? I stare out into the breaking dawn, the sun rising in the east. The warmth of the sun hitting my skin is just like Bella sleeping soundly beside me. I sit down on the porch and think. I need to think of what I could do to save Bella, what I could do to save myself. But then I think, why would I need to save Bella?

I suddenly remembered Jacob sleeping with a blonde. And it hits me, _that _is why I have to save Bella.

The sun is rising higher and higher until it has shone light on my skin. I can see the "diamonds" embedded on it. It was Bella who pointed out that my skin had dia—

Ouch. Why the heck… would somebody throw me a shoe? I turn the shoe around, examining it carefully. Just to see who the culprit could be. And there it is, the clue in fresh satin. _Giordano Concepts.4. _Alice.

"Alice!" I call her.

"What?" says Alice in a distracted manner.

"Why did you throw your precious diamante kitten shoe outside the window?" I call back at her.

"What?" She suddenly stuck her head out of the window. "What in Marcus' name is that doing there? Oh! I...I... must have thrown it too far. I was trying to find a shoe to match my outfit. And as it turns out, I've got nothing."

I sigh incredulously and hear myself telling her, "Alice, you have got 249 pairs of shoes in your 50 square-meter walk-in closet. Don't you still have enough shoes? People don't no—"

"Don't you tell me that people don't notice shoes!" she says. "Here! This is yours."

Alice throws me a black sweater that looks very nice. It looks expensive too. I see the price tag and shriek. It's one of Alice's personalized French clothes. To my excitement, I remove my shirt and change.

"Thank you, Alice!" I say.

"Yeah, yeah." I hear her say while rummaging her gigantic shoe closet.

I removed my sweater within a second and turned to the black sweater to remove the price tag. I stared at myself for a few seconds, disgusted of what I am. A vampire. I am _damned _to be in this life. I have never wanted this. I should've died, I should've...

"Edward, honey, are you all right?" Esme says behind me.

"Yes, Esme. I just... have to think." I say ruefully.

"I know how much you love Bella." She says while picking up the sweater I just removed and then touching the cotton. It looked like it was so precious to her.

"No. You don't know how much, Esme. I love her more than anything. But of course, you and Bella would always be the queen of my heart." Esme chuckles lightly, and hugs me tightly.

"I know that, Edward." She says in a caring tone. "You love her more than how much Carlisle loves me."

In the background, I hear Carlisle laughing and saying, "Esme Cullen! That is definitely not true." Esme just laughs lightly, and for the first time, I notice that vampires _do _have tingly laughs. Just like what Bella said...

"You're thinking about her again, aren't you?" Esme whispers while she helps me put on my clothes like a baby.

"Yes. I find it very hard to believe that I, myself, have a hard time forgetting her."

"Edward, there are always things in this world that you can never end. Love is an example.

"No matter how hard you try to end love, it will always be there. Remember the time you went away to the Denali's just because you wanted to avoid Bella? You avoided your love for her; which in that time, you never realized that you were inevitably attached to her." She says in a very soft monotone, running a smooth hand in my hair. "Then again, after a period of time, you learned to cope up with her scent and the urge to kill her. Now, that's love. You surpass every urge to avoid that love but in the end, you find yourself running back to her. It's like going in circles, really. Circles with obstacles."

She stays quiet for a brief moment. I opened my mouth to say something, and close it again to think things over. Am I really just going in circles? Is it just leading me back to Bella? I don't know what's going on anymore. And suddenly, it's like kismet decided to crash down on me.

"Esme, what if I lose her? Eternally, I mean? What if, you know, she dies?"

"And knowing that you waited too long to tell her that she's never left your mind, even once?"

"Yes." I sighed and put my face in my hands. But it didn't make any sense.

"Well, Edward. She's not a vampire..."

"Yes, I know that Esme. I also know that with every tick of the clock, she gets closer to that day where I get to lose her. I can't bear that, Esme."

"I know. I can't either."

"What?"

"Remember when we were in the clearing, playing baseball and you brought Bella along?" I nodded, and venom suddenly coated my teeth as I remembered what James did to Bella. "I told her, once, that she makes me happy. She makes me happy through you."

"Well, why?" I asked her.

"You have never noticed that at all, have you Edward?" I nodded my head in disagreement. "Bella makes me happy because she makes _you _happy. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie are happy. But when I look at you, I always used to stare at that gloomy face of yours. And I wonder to myself whether that day will come wherein I'd see you happy.

"And when Alice told me that Bella will be the one, I became so happy that even Carlisle seemed to notice my sudden changes. You see, Edward, out of all your siblings, you seem to be the one who sparkles like diamond to my eyes. I see you as my youngest son. I see you as my baby boy who died back then. I wished that if ever he were alive, he would look exactly like you. And then that was why whatever choices you made were just so important to me. They would have a very big impact, you know."

I had not planned for this.

"Esme, thank you." I hugged her, stood, and ran away from my sanctuarial home.

I don't know where exactly I am heading but somehow, my instincts seem to know where I will be going. I was headed to Bella's home.

I was hoping that I wasn't too late. I ran as fast as my vampire legs could, and when I was near Bella's house I hid near the trees in front.

And there she was. Looking fresh and delectable as before. Her brown hair blowing with the wind, her cheeks still that same tint of cherries, and her face... torn with anger. Her eyes were so sad and unwelcome that I didn't want to look at them anymore. I've had enough pain. She smiled to her left and I looked. There he was, Jacob Black, walking her to her truck.

It looked so disgusting. Jacob and Bella looked awful together. No, maybe this was merely jealousy overcoming me. Maybe that is why I thought Bella and Jacob looked bad together.

Ugh, what is that wet dog smell? Oh, right. _Jacob. _

**AN: Thanks for reading. Review? Thanks so much! :D**


	20. 19 I'm Sick To The Core Really

**AN: And here, we get back to Bella's POV. Enjoy. **

BPOV:

Was everything so screwed in my life? Why couldn't my life be perfectly balanced for at least a second? I'm not surprised that I never got the answer to my questions.

"Miss Swan," Mr. Bailey, the new English teacher, interrupted my thoughts. "Who is the author of Frankenstein who was known also as Percy Bysshe Shelley's wife?" he asked.

"Mary Shelley." I said too plainly.

"Very good." He praised, seeming disappointed. "Pay attention, everybody. Pay attention." He added.

He should get over the idea that when students space out meant that no one could answer the question of a teacher. It was ridiculous, really.

Before I knew it, lunch came on quickly. I was not accustomed to time flying so fast. I had to see Jacob again and Edward.

For a moment there, I loathed Jacob for no reason as well. I also didn't want to see Edward's face. Oh well. Maybe the mood swings are kicking in.

"Hi Bella." Angela welcomed as I sat down on the table. She was with Ben again. Surprisingly, Jacob was on her right.

"Hi Angela, Ben . . ." I hesitated. "Jacob." I sat down beside Jacob so as not to notice my being off mood.

"So, how'd you guys like the new English teacher?" Ben asked.

"I thought he was too much of an assumption-ist." Angela pried. "When I was spacing out during classes, he called me and asked me a question. He thought I wouldn't get the right answer." She laughed.

"Yes. It happened to me as well." I told her. When I heard myself, I was a bit flat and plain. Huh. "Maybe that's his strategy?"

Jacob smiled and placed an arm around mine. "Good thing I didn't space out. You think of me too much, Bella." He joked.

Angela and Ben laughed by I didn't. Laughing was one of the things that I didn't want to do right now. I hope Jacob understood my lack of appreciation.

"Bella, are you alright?" Ben asked, placing an arm around Angela. "You seem pale."

"She's always pale," Jacob chuckled. He seemed unmoved by my lack of happiness. "Aren't you, Bella?"

"Actually, I don't feel really . . ." I wound my hand around Jacob's and looked at Angela. "good. I think the hormones are kicking in."

"Maybe she's going to have _it._" Angela said. It meaning that time of the month.

"Oh. The '_it_'." Ben smirked. I guess Angela and Ben have coined that term together.

"What _it_?" I tried to laugh at Jacob but a mere chuckle escaped my lips.

"Just agree, Jacob." Ben chuckled. "Girls' talk. Hey, Angela just told me the meaning of that. I got really upset with her a few weeks ago because she's acting all weird and off. She explained to me what was going on. Good thing I understood."

"Oh, thanks Ben." Jacob smiled, sarcasm obvious in his words. He kissed my forehead. "Jeez, Bella! You're hot!" He commented. What?

I'm not sure if that meant I was hot in temperature or something else. . .

"Hilarious, Jacob." I told him. I placed my head on his shoulders, feeling so tired and the firm grip on myself loosen.

"Woah, Bella." Jacob remarked, almost shuddering. About what? "Seriously, Bells. You are hot. Like a fever or something." He added. His lips kissed my ear and whispered something. "Almost as hot as my temperature."

"I feel weak, that's all." I replied. "I can still go through the day without fainting, though." My attempt at joking wasn't successful.

"I still think you should go."

"Jacob," I whined. "I can go through the day."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes! Now stop arguing with me." I huffed like a little child but my stubbornness didn't stop Jacob from making me do what he wanted me to do. Ben and Angela chuckled, seeming amused at my own little joke.

"Alright, you're coming with me." Jacob pulled me away from the table with force that seemed effortless. Of course it seemed effortless. He was a werewolf. "Bye, Angela. Ben." Jacob told the two of them. He was grinning on his way out.

"Jacob!" I told him. I knew that I wouldn't be able to stop him so I stopped trying and just shut up. "Jacob, please."

He stopped in his tracks and just smiled at me. "Hey, hey, none of that. Alright then, I'm just going to carry you." Jacob carried me in his arms as we walked the empty hallways. I felt better for once because I didn't have to walk.

I noticed, though, why the halls were empty. Shouldn't they be flowing with people because they were headed to the cafeteria? I stopped thinking and dismissed the thought. I felt sicker by the second when I tried to think.

"Thank you, Jacob." I kissed his too-hot neck and smiled.

"It's a good thing I know what you need, then." He smiled my most favorite smile. "Are you feeling sicker?" He asked. I simply nodded.

Jacob held me tighter to him and started to sing to me a song that I don't happen to know. I closed my eyes and just tried focusing on Jacob's singing, shutting the whole world out.

A few minutes later, Jacob held me in one hand and opened the door of the clinic. I still had my eyes closed but I could sense Jacob smile at me. He walked in and stopped when Ms. Cope asked what was wrong with me.

"She just felt really sick and from the feels of it, she has a fever." Jacob explained.

"Did she faint?" The nurse asked.

"No, she just closed her eyes. It made her sicker when she used her eyes." Jacob managed to let out a small chuckle. "Bella, open your eyes now." I did what I was told and met Jacob's eyes. It warmed me more than I should be.

"Well, dear, how are you feeling?"

"I'm a little sicker than I was five minutes ago." I managed to blurt out. I could feel the blush on my cheeks.

"You look so beautiful." Jacob whispered in my ear. I gave him a smile and it made him less tense than before.

"Let's see here . . ." Ms. Cope led Jacob to a clinic bed. "Mr. . ."

"Black." Jacob continued her sentence.

"Well then, Mr. Black, may I ask you to put Bella down?" She knew me? Oh right. I went here often.

Jacob placed me down on the bed and went to the nurses' mini-station and just watched me intently, a smile crossing his features. Meanwhile, Ms. Cope took my temperature and after finding out that it was out of the normal feverish temperature, she decided to give me some pills.

"Here you go, dear." Ms. Cope handed me a tablet and a glass of water. I swallowed the tablet and washed it away with water. I felt more tired.

"Thank you. Ms. Cope. . .?" I gulped. "Would it be alright if I stay here until I get better? I don't think that sending me home would be necessary." I added.

"It all depends. If your condition gets better before last period starts then I'll allow you to go back to class." With that, she left and then I saw Jacob walking towards me.

"So. . ." His head hung.

"So. . .?"

"Yeah, uhm. Bella, you're almost as hot as me."

"I can see that. You actually felt my temperature heat up." I tried getting a grip on myself. The medicine was kicking in. "You're a _werewolf, _Jacob. You're not supposed to feel how hot I am." I chuckled.

"Well, I did because I love you." With that, Jacob kissed my forehead. "Hey, little girl, get some rest. Will you?" He added.

"Yes Jacob." I yawned and closed my eyes.

"Sleep well, Bella." He kissed me.

I could finally feel the unconsciousness overwhelm me as I warmly accepted it. I was so tired that I could barely think.

My thoughts were conscious after more than an hour of sleep. I didn't open my eyes, afraid to see that Jacob was still hovering over me. I didn't like being watched, it made me feel uncomfortable.

I tried going back to sleep but try as I may, I cannot possibly do it. I stirred in my bed, trying to be careful so that Ms. Cope would not notice my consciousness. If she did, she might send me back to class—which I specifically did not like.

A cold hand run up my arm and stopped at my elbow. I thought it was Ms. Cope's hand—her hand could be cold because of the air conditioning unit—but it was far too cold.

Edward.

I tried to keep my eyes closed and stopped stirring so that he wouldn't realize I was awake. Then again, he always knew the difference of my being asleep and awake.

"Bella, I know you're awake." I heard him say. A smile was evident on his face as he spoke.

I opened my eyes and I saw him looking at me. His eyes were a golden yellow that had a bit of black on the edges. He was quite thirsty then.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"The question is, Bella, what are _you _doing here?" He chuckled.

"Do I have to know the reason why I'm sick?" I answered plainly.

"I suppose you're right," he massaged his temples with his thumb and forefinger. "You do not need to know. Alice should. . ."

"Edward!"

"I was kidding. Anyway, I just came here to see if you were doing well." He silenced for a while, his eyebrows meeting, then suddenly said, "Ms. Cope."

I closed my eyes as I sensed the command in Edward's words. Ms. Cope was coming here.

"Oh dear." I heard Ms. Cope say as she felt for my temperature again. "Mr. Cullen, what are you doing here?"

"Ms. Swan wanted me to submit for her some homework for class that I go to as well." He explained as if we talked about the plan. "I'm afraid our teacher was too strict about deadlines. I excused myself from class so that I could fetch her homework. Isn't that right Bella?"

"Yes. . . Yes, Edward's right." I ruffled through my bag for an empty envelope and gave it to Edward.

"Well, then, Mr. Cullen, you might as well go." Ms. Cope calmly said.

"We have some more to talk about, Ms. Cope; mainly about homework. I hope you don't mind." I pleaded.

"No problem at all, Bella." She told me and faced Edward. "Mr. Cullen, I would like you to stay outside the cubicle for a while. I need to examine her."

Edward went outside the cubicle for a while and stayed at the same place where Jacob stood almost two hours ago. Like Jacob, he had a smile on his face but his eyes were wary—almost like he hid something from me.

Ms. Cope told me that my fever worsened and that I needed to go to the hospital. I tried reasoning with her that I felt alright but it wasn't really necessary for Ms. Cope. I wanted to reason some more but all I could do was give up. It won't do me any good.

"Who would take you, though?" she asked. "The school vehicle isn't available to bring you to the hospital."

"I'll take her, Mrs. Cope." Edward came in the cubicle and offered her.

"Is that alright, Bella?" Ms. Cope and Edward said together.

"Yes."

"OK. So I'll just fill up a few excuse slips for the two of you." Ms. Cope went out, took a few papers from the counter of the station and started writing.

"Not necessary, Edward." I told him. "I don't know why I'm lying for you. I don't even get anything in return." I added.

"Jacob Black is coming along." He chuckled. "No, he'll run. I don't want my car to smell like dogs."

"Edward!"

"I was joking. Anyway, you don't have to worry. He'll be there when he hears from Ms. Cope." Edward reached out and touched my neck. "Hotter than I expected."

I stuck my tongue out at Edward. Ms. Cope returned with two pink slips that were for the two of us and motioned for us to leave.

Edward held on to my arm lightly but securely using his left hand. He carried my bag on his other arm.

There wasn't much conversation on our way to the hospital. It felt eerie to speak with Edward in these times. Huh, maybe the hormones are just kicking in.

When we arrived at the hospital, Edward supported me again but this time he carried me in his arms. It felt weird. It felt abnormal.

Edward didn't feel the need to take me to the emergency room. We knew well enough that no other doctor would attend to us but Edward's father-figure—Dr. Carlisle Cullen. We might as well head on to his office but Carlisle went on ahead of us. Edward went straight to the emergency room, probably instructed by Carlisle, then laid me down on a stretcher.

Carlisle went through the door and I felt the sense of déjà vu. Didn't this happen more than a year ago? When Tyler's van almost crushed me and Edward saved me?

"How are you, Bella?" Carlisle's voiced interrupted my thoughts.

"Worse." I admitted. "Edward still drives like a maniac." I chuckled.

"That's true." Carlisle laughed. He poked at Edward's ribs and Edward chuckled.

There wasn't much to talk about with Carlisle. He just examined me and diagnosed me with pneumonia though I was as sure as hell that I didn't feel anything. I told him that as well but he reasoned that tomorrow might be a great moment to feel the pain.

Jacob arrived an hour later looking really worried. There wasn't much to talk about either. I guess everyone felt the need of my being mute for a day. Jacob simply sat beside me, holding my hand and whispering in my ear every now and then.

The irritating thing though was the distance between Jacob and Edward. Their distance felt like something towards me; other than merely being enemies as vampire and werewolf. I felt insecure in their presence, feeling as if I were the reason for their negative aura.

I felt uneasy as the minutes passed and as Carlisle administered shot after shot into my veins. Jacob held my hand every time the shots were administered.

"Shh, Bella." Jacob cooed. "It'll be alright." He added as he kissed my right temple.

I felt calmer every time Jacob did that to me but the tense feeling returned when the needle went nearer.

Charlie arrived after the four out of fifth shot, also looking worried. After all of the shots were done, Carlisle gave Charlie the list of medications and instructions I needed. Charlie let Jacob stay for the night, trusting him for the first time to sleep in my room.

That night I dreamt of Edward and Jacob in a dark room. They were talking but I could barely hear any words coming out from their mouths. Their conversations were muted. After a few moments, a woman and two men entered the room. . .

"Bella, time to wake up." Jacob whispered into my ear, waking me up.

My eyes fluttered open and sighed. How I wish I was able to hear what they were saying.

At last, as Carlisle assumed, I felt the aching pain on my arms, my legs, my stomach, and worst of all, my head.

It felt like eternity as I waited for my sickness to pass. The pain wasn't going to end, was it?

**AN: Okay, nothing special about this chapter. Just Bella being sick and maybe something about her knowing what happened with Jacob? Review please. It'll warm the cockles of her heart :D (Jacob's line :P)**


	21. 20 Worse Before, Better Now

JPOV:

Bella is sick. I've been worried sick about her lately. I couldn't understand the abnormality she had in comparison to me. I shouldn't have felt her temperature, for one. I run as hot as a kettle, while she's just a . . . cup of warm water. It's just really weird.

But even though Bella's sick, it won't stop me from caring for her and staying here. I owed her that much.

Charlie trusted me, for the first time, to stay with Bella last night. He seemed confident that Bella wasn't going to wake up in the next 12 hours or so. I wound my arms around Bella a few times because she got chills every now and then. I knew, though, that she was heating up more than the usual.

I tried my hand in making breakfast for Bella, just in case she woke up soon. I whipped up some pancakes. But again, like every other day, I get myself burned by the stove.

"Idiot," I mumbled to myself. I blew the burn on my finger, as if it there was a fire and that it'd subside. I just gave up.

I was lucky enough to find a bottle of maple syrup and butter in their fridge. I placed the pancakes on the table, careful of the burn on my finger. Ouch, it really hurt.

I went back to Bella's room and saw that she was finally awake. My heart suddenly beat faster and I felt myself melt. I grinned at Bella. She was still lying down on the bed, her body lying sideward, facing me.

"Hi," She said weakly. Yep, still sick.

"Bella! I'm glad you're awake." I smiled at her and sat down on the floor. I took her hand and placed it in mine. She was still hot. "Bella, are you a werewolf?" I smiled.

Her cheeks suddenly turned red. The color was so beautiful. "No." She mumbled and sighed.

"You're running on a one-oh-four last night, Bella. I bet it's higher now." I told her intelligently. Carlisle told me that it was higher than most cases.

"Oh," was all she could say.

"Yeah. 'Oh.'" I echoed. "I made pancakes for you."

"That's great, Jake. I'm practically starving." She said lowly but enthusiastically. "C'mon, let's go." She added. She tried standing up. I just rolled my eyes at her and carried her.

"Are you, oh so, seriously forgetting my being a werewolf, Bella?" I told her humorously as I carried her.

"Yes. Kind of. I can walk, you know." I set her down on the floor, hoping that she would realize how imbalanced she was right now. She couldn't walk at all. Her legs got all wobbly but she just smiled weakly at me. "Mmm-hmm. You sure know how to walk, Bella."

"Ha-ha." She replied. Sarcasm present in her voice. I just laughed at her and carried her again.

When the pancakes came into her view, she looked at it as if it wasn't enough for her. It was lacking.

"What?" I asked her as she was munching down the last piece of pancake. "Pancake too much for you?"

"No . . ." She blushed and continued, "I think I'm still hungry."

"Oh so, you're not only as hot as a werewolf but you're also as hungry as a werewolf. That's really nice, Bella." I said as I stroked her hair. She took my hand and held it in her small hand.

"Jacob? What happened?" She said, referring to my burnt finger. She was a bit alarmed by the idea of me being hurt. That was so Bella.

"While I was cooking . . ." I told her. "I accidentally touched the hot stove. It's nothing really. Happens to me all the time." I explained but she didn't seem convinced.

"But you're hurt."

"No worries."

"Jacob . . ."

"No."

"I'll get a band-aid."

"You're so stubborn."

"No, I'm not. Let me through," She pushed past me but I didn't let her.

"You can't walk."

"I'm not disabled."

"But you're sick."

"Doesn't matter."

I chuckled. Sometimes when Bella is sick, her being stubborn is the best part of my day. "Isabella Marie Swan," I started. "You are sick and you cannot walk. I am only burnt . . . in the heart by your love."

"You're being cheesy."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes." She laughed a hearty laugh. "Now stop arguing with me."

"Alright, alright." I gave up but I thoroughly enjoyed that part of the conversation. It was a first. "No more arguing."

Maybe food was all that Bella needed. After that plate of pancake, her temperature was cooler. She was still hungry so I browsed through their fridge, looking for what she might like.

"Bacon and eggs?" I asked her.

"Please." She agreed.

This time, I was careful. After I finished cooking the second part of Bella's breakfast, before I even had the time to set everything on a plate, she munched down the eggs.

"You're pretty hungry." I managed to laugh. She turned scarlet again. The normal pallor in her cheeks returned; maybe she was feeling better.

"Jake, don't you have patrol or something?" She asked. Doesn't she know me at all? I could take a few days off just to take care of her.

"Yeah, I do. I talked to the pack, they said they were okay with it. Turns out, Jared's object of imprint is out sick. He's on the leave too."

"That's two down then." I hadn't realized that she can walk until I saw her washing the dishes on the counter. "You could go patrolling today, Jake."

"Bella, I'm not stupid." I told her sarcastically as I took one of the dishes from her hand. She wasn't going to do some of the chores. "You're sick. Dr. Bloodsucker told you to stay at home and Charlie too. Don't you remember?" I added.

"I'm alright, Jake. Really, I'm alright. Maybe food was all I needed." She said as she took the plate from my hand. I took some foam in between my fingers and placed them on Bella's nose. I chuckled.

"No." I ordered.

"Please?" Her hand was snaking behind her as she faced me, her back towards the sink. The next thing I knew, I also had foam on my nose. I got cross-eyed just trying to look at it.

"Are you definitely _sure _that you're alright?" I asked her one more time. As much as I wanted to hover over Bella and take care of her all day, I also missed the boys. I wanted to go with them.

"Yes." I hated it when she used that spell on me. The spell she used when we walked at First Beach. It was some kind of magic that I couldn't refuse. I suppressed a sigh.

I sighed, and touched my temples. I imagined myself looking funny, a serious guy thinking things over while he had bubbles on his nose.

"How about this . . .?" I started. "I go patrolling _all _day but you come with me." I suggested.

She looked like I electrocuted her. Then suddenly she snapped out of it, "Jake, that's a great idea! But are you sure that it's alright with the guys?"

"S-s-sure . . ." I stuttered. Okay, I wasn't _completely _sure if the guys would be alright with it. But hey, they might bring theirs too sometime. It would be fun.

"All right. Do we have to leave now?"

"No, I'll give you an hour to . . . you know . . ." I didn't want to finish my sentence but it was a good thing that Bella got me quickly. She agreed with me, wiped the bubbles off my nose, and walked to her room.

One hour later, we were ready. I've given the medicine that Bella needed. She was all set. I told her to bring a raincoat because she was still sick. Good thing she wasn't stubborn.

"Jake, do you really _need _to do that?" She told me as I removed my shirt.

"Does my being half-naked bother you?"

"No," she answered quickly. "I'm still not used to it."

"Well, I don't want to run out of clothes, Bella. But if you promise to keep my supply of clothes stocked, well, I'd burst into a werewolf anytime without stripping half of my clothes." I humorously told her. She laughed at me and punched me on the chest.

I hid behind the bushes as I removed my shorts and hung them near my ankle. After I transformed, I motioned Bella to ride on my back. But—as the Bella she always is—she was too flabbergasted by the monster in front of her.

She blinked twice before she gathered herself to speak, "Jacob, I love you." She smiled. I raised a paw and placed it on her head.

For a moment there, her eyes widened as if in horror. "Jacob!" I wasn't paying much attention. When I looked at her, there were traces of soil on her shoulder. I snickered.

"Not funny, Jake." She mumbled, sarcasm obvious in her words.

I dusted the soil off her shoulders and hair using my snout. She twisted and turned, tickled by my fur.

"Jake, stop it." She kept on laughing. I snickered. I stopped and she looked at me thoroughly, she held my snout between her small hands and kissed the tip of my nose. Then she giggled.

I seriously didn't know what this was all about though deep inside me I knew. There burned the flame which was only kept alive by Bella.

I rolled my eyes and she giggled again. I folded my front legs and "bowed" so that Bella can ride on my back. It was time to travel before anyone saw us. I wouldn't want anyone suspicious towards the return of the 'bears'. I chuckled.

**AN: Tell me what you think ;) Bella is as stubborn as ever! :p **


	22. 21 What the Hell?

I was running through the forest with Bella on my back. It didn't kill me to bring her along. In fact, I liked the way she sat on my back.

I could feel that most of my brothers were in wolf form. That was good. They were independent and reliable. For the past few days, though, there hasn't been much conversation between us. All we had to talk about were about patrols. The responses were merely limited to five words.

Hmm.

_Hey, did someone die? _I asked.

They all suppressed a sigh. Maybe they were just tired; patrolling day and night, even working in shifts, can bring a wolf down to his knees.

_No, Jake. _Seth replied hastily. _No one died. _

_You guys have been quiet. _

_Well, there's not much to talk about, Jacob. _Paul interjected. It wasn't his brotherly voice that he used.

_Hey guys! Did I miss anything? _Leah turned into wolf form. Almost everyone was complete now. Except for Jared. _Oh. Hi Jacob. _She said sarcastically.

_Hey, hey. Did I do anything? _I asked them. _We've never been _this _quiet before. Come on guys, tell me what's going on. _I added.

_Really, Jake. We just don't have anything to talk about anymore. _Quil queued in. It felt like a conclusion to a fight.

I searched each of their minds, looking for some piece of evidence. I wasn't like the bloodsucker, though. I could only see what they were thinking presently. Their minds were clean. How the _hell _is that?

_Jacob, just believe us. Nothing's going on. _Embry sighed.

I didn't feel right. There was something. There could be a something out of that nothing . . .

_Jacob, _Sam interrupted my thoughts. Sam was now my beta, but I still didn't feel like going on with being alpha. It's like the position _belonged _to him.

_What is it? _I said.

_Meet me at the meadow._

_Alright. Meet you there. _I saw Leah speed up, she was going for a challenge again. I suppressed a sigh.

_Why? Are you chicken, alpha?_ Leah said sarcastically.

_Tempting as it is, Leah, but Bella is on my back. If I didn't have her on my back, I'd race you. But she's sick . . . so yeah. _

_Seth, Embry, Quil, Paul, Leah, _I called. _Meadow, _now.

I traveled through the forest with impeccable speed. For a moment there, I remembered Bella. I slowed down a bit before she could recognize the speed that I was going in to.

"Jake, slow down!" Bella said. I chuckled and then she kicked my ear. I growled humorously and then she chuckled again.

After more than three minutes of running on slow speed, we reached the meadow. The pack sat in a big circle with one empty space waiting for me. They all looked in my direction as I came into view.

In Embry's mind, he chuckled as he saw Bella's cheeks grow hot. Like the shy little girl that she is, Bella would always blush at the sight of attention.

Once I reached the circle—sitting in as alpha now—I repeated my earlier performance so that Bella could go down. She sat in between my two front legs as the meeting commenced. Once she sat down, she leaned on one of my legs for support. I hope that she wasn't going to sleep. Her hands started drawing circles on my paw. I looked down at her and she looked up at me. The sparkles in her eyes were never going to be the same with anyone that I would ever love.

My head shot up as Sam barked lowly; the meeting was to commence now.

_Sam, what is this about? _I asked. _The elders, even Dad, hasn't told me anything. What's up? _I added. The same thought ran through every mind in the pack.

_I'm afraid that we're not the only surviving pack of wolves. _Sam seriously said. Then suddenly, the buzzing of voices in my head continued.

I was afraid of this. That could mean danger, really. I remembered Dad telling me that if ever there had been a different pack, there could be war. I didn't know why, really. Dad never told me why.

My ears went down to their sides, and I lightly rested my head on Bella's head. She could be the only comforting thing to me now.

"Jacob? Jacob, what's wrong?" Bella said. She elevated her arms and touched my ears; she stroked my ears, making me calm down a bit. It was enough, though.

The bombarding of questions began. I wished, right now, that my ears were dysfunctional. I would trade anything not to feel the seriousness in the pack's mind.

_How? _Leah asked. _How is that possible? _

_War? What do you mean war? _Quil interjected.

_We fight, then! _Paul commented. His enthusiasm wasn't moved an inch.

_Silence! _I ordered. I couldn't understand a thing that they were saying. _Sam, what are you talking about? _

_Remember those girls that evening in the getaway? _Sam started. Out of my own will, my muscles tensed. Huh? Oh yeah, there were girls swimming in the river but after that, my mind went blank, as if a movie lacking its climax.

Everyone agreed. Sam continued. _Well, they're not regular _human _girls. They're werewolves. That's not every one of them, though. There are ten of them—five women, five men. The elders summoned me when Jacob wasn't available. The elders said that they were quite devastated that the species count in different animals have gone down—the species that we usually hunt. It wasn't really us, though. We don't like raw food as much as Leah does. _

_Hey! _Leah whined.

_So we suspected that it was another nuisance. I remember, while I was on patrol, seeing a gray wolf and thought that it was Leah. I called out to her but she didn't respond. Irritated, I followed her through the forest. I heard a crack as I approached the wolf—it was eating. The food of that wolf was one of the species that the elders have pointed were going down. _

_I ran away, thinking that this could not be Leah. She would only eat raw if she was forced. When I came back to the elders, I told them what I saw and concluded that there was a different pack that came to visit. Apparently, we've met half of them already. _Sam stopped short, thinking of the getaway but stopping right where we were supposed to be drinking.

For a short moment, every one of the pack members thought of me.

_There will be war, _I warned them. We have to get ready.

_Not necessarily, Jacob. _Sam interrupted. _Your father only predicted so but it doesn't necessarily mean that there will be. Anyway, if there will be any, we'll keep an eye out. _

_What should we do then? _Seth asked. Little kid's growing up.

_We'll welcome them with open arms. That's what we're doing. _I told them. _There _is _no valid reason for war at all, so this shouldn't be our problem. The more, the merrier, I guess. But what brought them here, though?_

_Ask Billy, _Sam suggested. _He preferred talking to the alpha. _Sam had the same plain and uninterested tone as the rest of them. What was wrong with them? _Jacob, take Bella home. We'll talk when Charlie gets back and when it's your turn for patrol. _

_Sure, _I said.

_It's rather important that we get to talk Jacob. It's of prime importance. _

_I'll take Bella home now. In a matter of minutes, Charlie will be home looking for her. She's still sick. _

_Bye Jacob, _every one of their minds thought. Their words were empty, lifeless.

Well, except for Quil. He was fighting a laugh because Bella was sleeping soundly under me. Her cheeks were tinted red as I looked into Quil's mind.

I nudged Bella on the shoulders and "bowed" again for her to ride on. For one second, she looked like she had no idea where she was but after dawn had overcome her, she rode my back.

In no time at all, we were back at Charlie's house. I took the advantage of Bella's unconsciousness as a chance at bursting in full speed. I placed Bella on an almost-dry picnic blanket on their backyard. I hid in the bushes and changed to human form.

I noticed Bella's temperature shoot up again as I carried her to her room. She was still knocked out, maybe tired of the trip we made. Her light snores were a good enough indicator that there weren't any bad dreams within reach. I wrapped around her a few blankets and placed an ice bag over her head.

I knelt down beside Bella's bed side, took her hand and stroked it. I kissed her forehead and let mine remain there. She was feeling cold. Every now and then, the shudders would be so intense that even my body heat couldn't warm her up.

That's it. I'm not talking her out on any patrol trips anymore if she's sick.

Charlie arrived ten minutes after I finished everything that has to be done for her. When Charlie entered, he was surprised to see so many blankets around his daughter.

"Is it worse?" Charlie asked.

"Yes. She feels colder now."

"Did she drink the medicine?" Charlie asked, putting his hand on Bella's throat.

"Yeah, she did. It's like there's really nothing wrong with her. She ate a lot this morning."

Bella tossed and turned in her bed. She kept on mumbling words that Charlie and I couldn't understand. After a few seconds, she opened her eyes. Her eyes were a bit red on the edge, like she was suddenly really sick.

"Bella, are you alright?" I asked her. _Of course she isn't alright. _I held her hand and rubbed them between my two hands.

"Honestly . . . no. I feel real bad." Bella looked at me for a moment. "Staying all day in bed is sickening." She added.

"Do you want some fresh air?" Charlie asked.

Bella was good in making excuses. She's improving when it comes to lying. Maybe I should commend her for that later . . .

"Bells, I think we should bring you to the hospital. Carlisle said that if it gets any worse in twenty four hours, we have to take you back there." Charlie interrupted my thoughts. His forehead had creases that looked like they were carved from stone.

Bella couldn't argue with the two of us anymore. She looked too weak to do speak up.

I carried Bella and placed her inside Charlie's cruiser. I sat with her in the back seat while Charlie drove. In a few minutes, we reached the hospital; we entered the E.R. again—Bella was near the point of fainting.

Panic was creeping on me now. Her eyes couldn't open anymore but she was still talking and murmuring. She searched for my hand and I gave it to her. I rubbed her hand in between mine. Her breathing labored and I worried some more.

"What's wrong?" Carlisle asked, panic filling his eyes. The nurses were driving the stretchers into the emergency room.

"Bella can't open her eyes anymore, bloo—Carlisle. She's too weak. Her temperature is going down. Lower than what should be." I answered hastily.

"Her breathing's labored," He spoke quietly; panic and fear in his features. "There may be something blocking her path of breathing."

"Well, get it out!" I told him.

"Jacob," Someone laid a hand over my shoulder. I need not to know who this was; I loathed him too much.

"What?" I spat out. Ugh. The over-perfumed scent is sickening.

"Let Carlisle do what he can." Edward said.

"You don't know how _much _I want Carlisle to do his best over there." I pointed towards the emergency room. _Or how much I would like to attack you right now. _

I looked back towards Charlie. He was staring at the door of the emergency room, his expressions were dumbstruck.

More panic coated my features. Even without a mirror, I could tell that my brows were creased and I had a frown. I could not stop worrying about Bella.

Seeing her like that—labored breathing, closed eyes, purple lips, cold temperature and pale skin—it made me think if she was going to be okay. It seemed that everything has passed so quickly.

It was just a moment ago that Bella was seated near my front legs and calming me down and next, going into the emergency room. This was too much. How had she weakened so quickly?

A low growl came from Edward. "What did you _do_?" Edward snapped.

"Look," I reasoned with him, anger coating my being now. "Do you want me to hold out Bella's happiness? What do you want me to do, huh, bloodsucker?"

"You could have least told me. I could have watched over her."

"Screw you! I'm not having her near _you. _In case you're forgetting—"

"No, I'm not forgetting, dog." He said in between his teeth.

I decided not to speak anymore. It would only make matters worse. Edward wasn't important right now—Bella was. She needed me."

After an hour, Bella came out of the emergency room and sent into a private ward. Charlie's features were filled with worry more than ever. It wasn't actually in the list to have Bella near the operating room. We both knew that she wasn't _that _sick. But hell, why—?

I placed my head in between my hands and prayed that she wake up soon. I wasn't going to take much of the drama anymore.

My mind was filled with so much worry and sadness that every spot of happiness that happened today vanished. It was like a balloon filled with good air; too much of it would've resulted into an explosion. My mind raced for infinite impossibilities, wondering why this happened.

I know I wasn't going to answer this anymore myself, so I kept everything tucked in my head. I didn't know what was happening in the pack, I didn't know what was happening with Bella either. So why should I try to find out what I shouldn't? It was a secret.

**AN: Read and review please **** Thanks. We're nearing towards the end, actually. Just about, what? 10 more chapters? Not sure :p**


	23. 22 Save Me, Please, or Just Kill Me

JPOV:

Why couldn't I do anything? I mean, _really, why can't I do anything? _

Oh right, because I wasn't the head of the pack and Bella's boyfriend. Right, that's why I didn't know what to do.

Sadness vanished inside of me whilst doubt and anger suddenly took control. I let the latter go because I did not afford to lose it right now. Doubt was in me. Why didn't I know _anything_? I needed to know.

My mind was spiraling towards nothing when I suddenly felt a cold hand touch my left wrist. It pulled it but to no avail. "Jacob," a hoarse voice croaked.

I looked up and saw that it was Bella, sicker than ever. Her smile made it worse. She looked like a grimacing monster. I hated how she was sick right now.

"I got so worried. You've got me on a lifeline here." I told her, worry coating my voice as well. I tried to make my voice a little different. I didn't want to add to her worries.

"I'm alright, Jake." She said as she smoothed the creases on my forehead. It worked. "I'm here. I'm alive," She managed to let out a small chuckle.

I stroked her forehead, and kissed it. She was so cold right now. Her hands were entwined with mine, so her hands were getting warmer but the rest weren't . . .

"You're worrying too much, Jake." She said.

"How could I not, Bella? C'mon, tell me." I challenged her.

"Jake, I'm sorry . . ."

"You're sorry for getting sick?"

"No," she gulped. "I'm sorry I ever made you bring me to the pack's meeting."

"No, shh. That's okay. Shh." I shushed her and lulled her to sleep. She needed much sleep. "Bella, sleep. Please. You need it."

"Alright, alright." She chuckled a little. "But I'm not going to turn into some Sleeping Beauty if I do."

I gleamed at her. Didn't she know she was more than Aurora? "Bella, you're more than the Sleeping Beauty for me. Although, right now, it looked like you had a really bad sleep. Poor Aurora," I laughed and drew circles on her palm. I touched a really cold spot on her right wrist, when I looked at it, I saw that it was a silvery crescent scar. "That's a really weird looking scar."

"Yeah," was all Bella could afford to reply.

"It's cold." I said, it was colder than her temperature.

Bella didn't speak anymore. It looked like bringing up the subject of the scar annoyed her I couldn't afford that. The silence stretched on until Charlie's snoring brought both of us back to life. We both laughed and suppressed a sigh. Again, the silence stretched on.

Out of will and consent, I hugged Bella with all the energy I have left in me—anxiety burning almost all of it. I breathed in her scent and kissed her neck. When she closed her eyes, our hands were still entwined. I had to keep her warm. She didn't have to be cold. Her eyelids didn't move anymore. Good then, she was falling into unconsciousness.

Charlie was asleep now on the couch, unaware of Bella's consciousness and unconsciousness. There was a light knock on the door. I told whoever it was to come in, distracted because I was still absorbed with Bella.

"Chief Swan," I heard Carlisle speak as he entered the room. I looked at Charlie who stirred awake. "I'm afraid Bella has asthma as well. Does asthma run in your blood?"

"Well, yes," Charlie answered groggily. "But she never developed it in her earlier years."

"I supposed that she developed it just now. She had an asthma attack, Charlie. On the scale of one to five, it was a four. It's dangerous for her to be having this kind of sickness because she has pneumonia as well."

"What do we do, Doctor Cullen?" he asked, widely alert now.

"We'll just give her a few shots, medications . . . but the best thing to do right now is to give Bella sleep—wholesome sleep, if you will. She'll be staying here for a few days, I'm afraid; just until her pneumonic state subsides."

Carlisle went out the door, leaving me and Charlie in the room with sleeping Bella. That was all so weird. It went too fast.

"I'm sure you wouldn't like to sleep here," Charlie prompted. "The food's bad . . . no comfy beds to lie on—"

"I'll watch over her, Charlie," I cut him off. Seriously, didn't he know me any better? "Every single night."

"But what if you need to do something, Jacob? You know Billy back there needs you."

"Oh, right," I stuttered.

"Just call me, kid, if you're leaving." Charlie scratched his head, feeling irritated that he ever stirred awake. "I bet that you have something to do right now, huh?"

I opened my lips to say no but a sudden thought entered my mind: Sam's order. Crap, I needed to go to the forest right now. Right _now _but I couldn't leave Bella. Not for the whole world—

"Go, kid. I can see that you need to." Charlie said, hovering over Bella's beeping machines.

I let go of Bella's hand and walked out of the room. I suppressed a sigh. I didn't like the idea of leaving Bella even just this one night. I had this feeling that something unwanted was going to happen. I dismissed the thought and simply concentrated on wolf duties now but it wouldn't stop me to think about Bella.

_Jacob, _Sam called as I transformed in the forest. _What took you so long? _

_Bella had an asthma attack. I couldn't leave her. I'm sorry, I hope you understand. . . _I explained. Now I even added some stress for the pack to fix.

_That's alright, Jacob. I understand. I'm not really supposed to question your absence. You're alpha here. And oh, you're not adding to the pack's problems._

_Thanks Sam. Oh God, I just can't take the stress anymore. I just wish I had the asthma _and _pneumonia instead of Bella. _I just can't stop thinking about what she's bound to, right now. It wasn't fair for her to have this thing.

_Jacob, meet me four kilometers east._ Sam directed. That's it; I'm putting the Bella drawer away for a while. Even though it hurt me not to think of her, I needed to stop. Brothers before girls first; my brothers needed me.

When I met with Sam, it was almost dark in the night. I had to admit that even if I had the bravery of a wolf, I was as coward as a chicken when I'm being just _Jacob. _

Sam and I transformed. He was the one who broke the silence when I was in deep thought. "You worry too much, Jacob."

"I'm sorry." I answered Sam. "I don't feel so much like an alpha tonight. It's stupid, I know but I'll try my best."

Sam patted my back and said, "It's alright. I was like that with Leah before too. It was a not-so-perfect love though I'm not saying that what you have with Bella is something similar with us, no. That's not the case." We were walking under Sam's lead.

"I always knew that Bella is as close to a person of imprint, Jacob," Sam murmured demurely. "But I never really understood what you have. You see, people would mostly know about your relationship but with you and Bella, it's so mysterious; like you were both creatures of the supernatural rather than just you."

I was silenced for a while. Did people really look at it that way? I would call it as a love shaped solely by friendship. We weren't like the love-at-first-sight crap; we were just happy friends wanting balance in our lives when love suddenly pops in. Badabing-badaboo.

"Here we are." Sam suddenly said with a tone completely opposite of before. "We meet them here."

The place was of no specialty whatsoever. It was just another part of the forest that I've always underappreciated. It was near the river, I could hear the mute stream of water.

After a few minutes, we heard the slow and heavy thuds of our guests. When they came into our view, I saw that they were ten. They were like a carbon copy of each other. They had the same color of fur but they just ranged in tones. One was darker, one lighter, one mixed. . .

The wolf in the middle seemed to be the leader—his color a deep chocolate with a few streaks of topaz (it was really out of place.) They howled all at the same time and the hair on the nape of my neck stood. They were completely scary looking; they looked different in comparison with the pack. They seemed dangerous and we calm. We had a tight bond, the Quileute pack, but this pack didn't look like they had.

For a moment, they separated in half then hid behind the bushes. A few seconds later, five men and five women stood out in front of us. They looked almost middle-aged; that would explain their authenticity—as Sam mentioned—as a pack. They didn't have that native American blood in them, from the looks of it; they were not like us.

"I am David." A tall man said. He was taller than me and had scary features. He held out his arm for mine to shake and entered is grip. "I am the alpha of this pack. I am assuming that you hold the same in yours?"

"Yes, I do." I replied. I felt Sam tense beside me. What should he be tense about? They weren't going to kill us. "I am Jacob. Jacob Black, leader of the Quileute pack."

"Ah, and you must be Sam." David shook Sam's tight hands. "The elders have advised me of you and your members."

Someone from behind David cleared his throat; probably wanting to be introduced as well. "Oh, forgive me for my rudeness. On my left are Henry, Vincent, Chris and Carlo." The men were sturdy looking, as if they were a wall unbreakable.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." I said to them. They all simply nodded. I noticed that the one on the far end, Chris, was so much like Embry. He looked like the new member of the pack. He looked all jittery and nervous unlike the others.

"On my left is Jasmine, Patrysse, Ethelea, Chrisha and Sacha." He announced.

If before I assumed that Sam was already extremely tense, I thought wrong. I can see in within my sight that his muscles tightened with his whole body. He was nervous about this. I, too, tensed at the mention of the last woman's name. I shuddered a bit because it was exactly like my dream. She looked exactly like the woman in my dream.

The woman whom I have gotten drunk with, the woman whom I've fancied in my sleep.

"Easy, Sam." I mumbled as I placed a hand on his right shoulder. I took into careful inspection Sacha's features. She looked like she was the counterpart of Chris. She looked new to the pack.

"Something's wrong, Jacob. I can feel it." He whispered. It was so low and mute that I doubted these were the exact words he said.

"Well, that's practically the only thing we're to do here. We're only here to introduce ourselves to you. We would meet again when everyone in your pack is present. Farewell, Jacob and Sam." David spoke. Then all of a sudden, they transformed and left.

What a weird feeling. It was like I had anticipated their arrival and actually knew Sacha. It was like there was a gravitational pull between us that I could not understand at all.

"That girl, Sacha," Sam said, fear replacing his tenseness. "looked at you like she knew you. Have you ever met?" I can sense that Sam was trying to downplay something. The seriousness in his voice seemed off.

"Let's go." I told Sam, disregarding what he said. Maybe it was merely déjà vu that held me. It was like that sometimes.

When I got home, Billy irritated me to death saying that he wanted to visit Bella. He didn't even give me the chance to rest or just separate myself from every problem that I have right now.

"Dad, please. Let me rest," I pleaded him. "I haven't rested for a couple of days now. What with all the new wolf pack and Bella's sickness."

"Fine. I'll let you sleep then. But you'll take me to Bella one day, alright?" Dad offered. I wasn't in the mood to agree with whatever was thrown at me.

"Okay. Alright." I yawned and closed my eyes. I promise that I would just doze off for a while.

Had I slept at all? It didn't feel like it. My mind was still alert, unconscious yet aware. I wasn't in deep sleep then.

Blackness surrounded me from all over. The dream before had come back to me now but it wasn't muted anymore. I could hear what I was saying in my dream.

_That's obnoxious. I don't believe you. . ._

_You girl, get out. _I heard Leah say. She was motioning to the woman beside me. Oh no, oh no, what did I do?

This is just a dream, Jacob. This is just a dream.

Of course it is a dream. I suppressed a sigh of relief. This did not happen in real life. It was just a dream. It was just a dream. I continued to watch myself, Leah, Sam, Seth and someone hidden in the shadows of my dream.

_Jacob, wake up, _you are Bella's boyfriend_. . ._

_What part of 'I don't care' don't you. . ._

And then suddenly, every part of my dream was on rewind. It stopped at a certain point where no one at all was moving. There was Leah, Sam, Seth, me, a girl and—as I went nearer the dark figure—Edward. I clenched my teeth but I thought that maybe this wasn't the reason why my dreams paused.

Everyone was stationary. They wouldn't move. They couldn't even see me.

Fear and nervousness caught me as I moved closer to see who the person on the bed with me was. The silence rung in my ears and my heartbeat sped—I could almost hear it.

This was like a suspense movie. The silence stretching on as you try to see what you want to see. The rapid fear in my head started screaming at me. The screaming felt like neon signs telling me to stop and take a turn at it but no, I had to see who she was. Somehow, it dawned on me that this might be true. This might be true, that's why fear wrapped my entire being.

I held the edge of the blanket and slowly lifted it up so I could see.

There she was. A blonde woman, dressed in a bathing suit and a shirt. Her features contained lust. I felt like I was slapped because the next thing I knew, everything dawned on me.

This was real. This happened during the getaway. And the most fearful of all, this girl was _Sacha. _There she was, lying on the bed and kissing the monster that was me. My eyes were filled with lust—lust that I never heeded. I didn't know what made me think that this was true but my instincts told me that this was not a lie.

I wanted to make a run for it. No, this did not happen. This is all a dream.

Fear, sadness, agony. . . I did not know which one was wrapped with me the most. I felt like a stupid moron. This was true. But then again, I doubted myself. My dreams were rarely true.

Tears started building in my eyes as I thought of Bella. What have I done to her? I suddenly felt the fear of losing her. What would I do without her?

The tears got the best of me—making me break down.

_It's all true, Jacob. _A daunting voice told me. I looked behind me and saw that filthy, bloodsucker Edward.

_It's true. It's not a lie. _He said again, his firm grip on my shoulder tightening. _You've lied to Bella. _

No. I refused to accept the fact that it was so. It was not true.

I woke up with sweat covering my whole body. My breathing labored as I sensed the fear and anger that coursed through me. It wasn't true. It was just a dream.

Without any permission from Dad at all, I ran out the back door and headed for the forest. _It was true, _the voices in my head repeated in my head.

I ran and ran until the voices stopped bothering me. But whatever I did, it would never quiet down.

_That was the truth. You lied to Bella. _

**AN: Okay. What do you think? Thanks for reviewing my past chapters. Thanks to all my readers as well. :)**


	24. 23 The New Pack

It's been a week since that fearful dream. After that night, every hour passed slowly. It made me think that maybe life wanted me to suffer right now; that would explain for why time slowed.

I had visited Bella a few times in the hospital. Her condition improved at times but worsened almost every hour. It made me feel guilty of everything that revolved around her.

First, I was the reason why she had an asthma attack. Two, I hurt her but she still doesn't know. Third, if she knew then my life would suddenly shatter to pieces. I could be like Humpty Dumpty that couldn't be put together again.

_Jake, stay in focus, man. _Seth thought.

_Sorry, dude. I feel guilty as hell. _I replied. Now wasn't exactly the best time to keep it all to myself.

Everyone had the same question in their heads: Why? I flashed in my head the encounter that Sam and I had with the new wolf pack but I stopped in my tracks because the next thing in my head was the dream. I couldn't afford to ask them about my surreal dream.

_What? _Leah asked, surprise covering her wolf features.

_Well that's just crap. _Paul interjected. He wasn't accepting the existence of another wolf pack.

_Paul, be reasonable. _I thought. _The Cullens aren't the only vampires in this world, you know. _

_I look like this 'Chris'? _Embry chimed in.

_Oh yeah, Embry. He's just like you. He looks new to the pack and that goes the same for you too. You and Seth are the new ones here. _I explained.

_Hey! _Seth reacted. I barked a laugh.

_It's true, kid. Get over it. You're just. . .what? Fourteen? Fifteen? That makes you new to the pack. _

_You've got a point. I _am _new._ Seth admitted. _ Anyway, I hope we get to be friends with this new pack. Do they have a name or something? _He added.

_They didn't mention anything. _Sam answered back. He phased already.

_We'll have to talk about this later. I can hear the howls of the pack in the south. See you there, guys. _I prompted. I can hear the familiar howl of David.

As I got closer to the new pack, I refused to think of that one particular pack member. I didn't have privacy here. Maybe later when I have all my thoughts saved.

In Sam's mind, I can see him getting tense again. Why was he always so tense whenever we were near those new wolves?

_Don't phase. _I told them as we were there with them; a few yards were the distance we had from them.

All of us had different emotions right now. Anger, sadness. . . Everything that was the opposite of happy. The dominant one was tenseness. We were all tense.

_Good morning. _David greeted. The other wolves followed pursuit by howling.

Wait, we could share thoughts with them?

_This may seem rude, David, but I just want to ask something. _I prompted, feeling like an idiotic alpha for not knowing anything. _You can hear what we're thinking?_

David laughed. _Before I answer that, you must see for yourself. Go take a look at our heads. _

I did as I was told and I looked at each one of them. Jasmine. . . Patrysse . . . Ethelea. . . Chrisha. . . Sacha. Nothing. There was nothing. David. . . Henry. . . Vincent. . . Carlo. . . Chris. Nothing.

_That's what I thought. _David huffed. _You could only hear what we're saying in our heads but you can never read what we're thinking and then vice versa. _

_We've got a lot to learn from you. _I chuckled. The others seemed to ease a little bit but it did not stop them from being aware.

_Indeed you do have a lot. We are the Italian pack, we reside near Volterra, Italy. That is the place where half of the vampiric populations reside. We have been around for nearly a century. _

I was awe-struck. Almost a _century_? I know that by the time a wolf reaches a century, he should be about sixty and unable to phase.

_That's impossible. _Seth spoke up. David looked towards Seth with wary eyes but then calm.

_Yes, it is. It applies for every wolf pack in the world. But I daresay that the Italian and Quileute pack are the ones left standing. Unfortunately, the packs in Europe have not survived the war about twenty years ago. Some of the wolves have bore children but have not yet phased as us. We are wondering why. It has been two decades. _David said sadly. It looked to me that he craved the company of other wolves rather than his own pack.

_Oh, _was all I could say. _Forgive me for being rude, _I started. Damn, where was the grammar coming from? _These are my brothers and sister. Paul, Jared, Quil, Embry, Seth, Sam and Leah. _

_Ah, you refer to yourselves as family. _It wasn't a question, it was a fact. It was true, though. _That's a nice bond you have._

_Thank you, _Quil thought. It was nice to know that most of us calmed down already. It was enough for them to speak out. I wanted to know if the Italian wolves were going to speak up.

_Is a member of your pack romantically involved with Leah? _David asked. Leah's face was covered with such tenacity because she wanted someone to answer that it was Sam. Sam disregarded this. He was past Leah's antics.

_I'm afraid to say that, no, there is no one in the pack romantically involved with Leah. How about in your pack? Are there such relationships existing? _Sam spoke up, wanting to answer so he could block Leah's train of thought. No one wanted to know what she was thinking.

Chris chuckled. _Well, yes. There is. _He said, talking for the first time. Again, he was so much like Embry. _Carlo is with Patrysse and David with Sacha. _

I felt my legs buckle and soften for no reason at all but I knew I sensed trouble. This time, I was the one who tensed. I remembered my dream.

_That's nice. _I stuttered. _Object of imprint, yes? _

_No, _Carlo said. He had a rough voice. _David did not imprint on Sacha but he sure does wish that. _David laughed alongside Carlo.

_It's a nice pleasure to meet all of you. _Sacha spoke. The world crashed down, the bricks falling off of buildings and oxygen disappearing in the air. Oh no.

_And us, too, _Jared, Quil and Embry said.

_Ditto, _Leah and Seth said. Sam and I were just speechless.

_I hope we could hang out soon. _Carlo, Chris and Henry said altogether.

_There's a lot to learn. _Vincent and David mentioned.

After that, I just turned around. I forgot to bid them goodbye but when I turned around, they weren't there anymore. I felt completely exhausted and beat to death. I could crash down on the ground right now.

The dream entered my mind again, playing continuously for everyone in the pack to see. I crashed onto the ground, the strength in me vanishing.

Sam suppressed a sigh. _I hate to tell you this one but what you saw in your dream was true. _He said. The pack was forming a circle around me. They stopped in their tracks with different emotions I didn't even bother to read.

_It happened during the getaway, _Quil admitted. _We tried to stop you but you wouldn't budge. _The look on his face was full of regret. Why should he be? _Look, I'm sorry bro. _

The rest of their explanations were just a voice far away in my head. I couldn't bear listen to any of it anymore.

Where was I in the world now? I wasn't anywhere near my old self. I was distant in my shadows. The former Jacob Black was now gone. The one who stood as Bella's sun was gone. I was gone.

I buried my head in my paws, thinking of the possible horrible outcomes. Bella would be gone. A war would break out between the two packs. I'd no longer be the alpha of the pack. The last one was the least of my worries. That title doesn't belong to me anyway.

_Don't say that, _Sam said. _You're the rightful one, Jacob. _

_Yeah, _Jared agreed.

_I may be the rightful one but I'm not the righteous one. I'm sure that those are interrelated. _I muttered.

My vision blurred and then I realized that I had tears in my eyes. They poured down to my snout and met my paws then the ground.

I look like an idiot right now—crying in front of the pack. It shouldn't be like that.

_Look, Jake, you can cry if you want. _Leah started. Her tone, for the first time, was comforting. It wasn't acidic. _Yeah right, acidic. Ha ha. But remember, we're not standing here for nothing. We're supposed to be helping you. _

_I'm not sure if you'd do me any good. _I thought.

_You're just saying that. _Quil said. _I can make you laugh in five seconds._

_Oh yeah? _I challenged, the sadness disappearing in little droplets. I loved this pack. _Try. _

_Uhh, not now Jake. I'm not prepared. _Quil laughed, making me feel a little better.

I tried standing up but still couldn't. Quil and Embry pushed me up on both sides. If I could stand up now, then it was my world's queue to crumble.

It crumbled to little pieces, making me feel so lonely and in despair. My own happiness was knocked out and is now in the hospital with an IV inserting poison in her veins. Although she was my dominant source of happiness, I wouldn't forget the pack. My _brothers. _

_That's more like it. _Paul thought. _I've had enough of the drama. _

_Shut up, _I ordered Paul.

_I'd have to warn you, Jacob, that everything won't turn out well. _Sam interrupted. _Sacha is now well aware of you. She remembers what happened. _

I tensed again, feeling as if death drew closer to me.

_Hey, none of that. _He abruptly said. _We'll just have to prepare; every one of us. Sacha won't be at fault if David finds out what happened. They—all members of the pack—share the same path of mind when in wolf form. Maybe Billy was right with this one. There will be war but it's for the most personal of reasons. _

_Let's just. . . stop thinking about this. _I prompted, regret and worry filling my system. _You don't know how grateful I am towards you guys. _

_No problemo, _Quil said.

_That's what brothers are for. _Embry chimed.

_Anytime, Jake. _Seth replied.

I shut my mind towards the future. It won't happen that way. There won't be an all out war between the two packs. I was at fault here, David should fight _me. _

I am going to be prepared. I'll sacrifice everything. It was my mistake, right? I should face it with open arms.


	25. 24 I Was Afraid Of This Day

Three slow days have passed since that meeting. It's the third day of my trip to hell. I'm starting to wonder when I'd get there. It's making me impatient.

I might as well die with all of this. I hurt my brothers, I hurt David and most of all, I hurt _Bella. _My Bella. My star, my sun, my everything. I'd welcome everything with open arms, though. I don't care if I get shot by a bullet, it'll be okay. I deserved it. The atonement for my sins, I'd call it.

"Jacob?" asked Bella. She was looking better today. At least _she _was but why can't I? "Are you alright?"

"That's a silly question to ask." I told her euphorically.

"What _would _be a good question?" she asked. In my head, "Jacob, are you cheating on me?" Yep, that sounded better. It was a better question.

"How about 'Are you getting tired of guarding me?' but the answer would be no." I told her. I held her hand and began to draw circles on the back of her hand. It was still cold.

Bella didn't respond. She looked down, using her hair as a curtain to cover her face. I tucked her hair behind one ear.

"Hey, what's going on?" I tried to ask her cheerfully. I hated this side of me. It was too happy, I wish I could absorb that kind of positive attitude.

"Nothing," she lifted her head and smiled at me. It looked fake, it felt like it too.

"You know what? No, probably not. Well, you should know that anti-depressants are bad for you." I joked. She chuckled and punched me lightly in the cheek.

"Idiot." I laughed at her. Well, that seemed to lighten our mood. "I'm not depressed."

"I thought you were." I lifted her hand for proof. "You're so _pale, _your hair is a tone darker, there are bags under your eyes; I just thought that you missed me too much that you took anti-depressants." I added.

"Jerk." Was all she replied. She leaned and kissed my cheek. "I missed you."

"Hey, I'm here. I'm not leaving." I stood and hugged her. "And I missed you more. You don't know how screwed I am without you, Bella."

She smiled and that seemed to make the best of my day. At least, for this day, I get to see her smile. I needed to cherish it now. I don't know if I had much time left to see it.

"Liar." She whispered in my ear. She chuckled.

"OK. Don't believe me. But I'm telling you the truth here." I kissed her nose then pressed my lips to her. I missed her so much that it felt like I never saw her for a year.

"I love you." Bella reminded me.

"I love you." I whispered as I held her hand. The ring I gave her was still there. "Every day of forever." I rubbed the ring on her finger.

She smiled. We were still talking when there was a knock on the door. Somehow I felt nervous but then again it might simply be the guys.

"Come in," I yelled towards the door.

There at the door stood six tall boys and a girl. "Bella!" They screamed happily. I looked at Bella who was now flushing scarlet. I stroked her cheek and laughed.

"I thought you were dead," Seth said. "Where have you been, loca?"

Bella raised her left arm, showing Seth the IV tubes stuck in her wrist. Seth and Leah chuckled.

"You've always been that much of a klutz." Leah said.

"How are you feeling?" Sam asked, an arm over Emily's shoulder. I didn't see her enter. Oh well.

"Better. Carlisle said that I could be discharged today. My pneumonia's gone." She explained. I stood and walked to the other side of Bella's bed to give way for the others. I sat on the bed, one hand on her forehead and the other entwined with hers.

"Well I'll be damned!" Paul said as he struck his hand on a wooden table. "That's a cause for celebration."

Bella blushed scarlet again. "No, Paul. I don't think it's necessary."

"Nah. You're wolf family now. You and Emily get to be the wolf girls." Quil told Bella. He laughed boisterously with Embry.

"I'll pretend you never said that." Bella said, blushing. I kissed her forehead and chuckled.

"Boys. You know how they are, Bella." Emily said, placing a hand on Sam's chest.

"Yeah. _Boys._" She rolled her eyes and looked at me. She chuckled and I stuck my tongue out at her.

"So what do you say, Bella?" Jared happily said.

"What do I say to what?" She responded. Her eyebrows furrowed for a bit, thinking.

"You're going out with us later. Emily's coming. Jared's girlfriend Kim, who're gonna get married soon," Paul said. Jared punched him on the shoulder. "is coming along. Come with us, Bella."

"Sure." Her lips were suddenly a rosy red. She looked better by the second.

"It'd be at my place. Just don't forget to bring your medicine, alright?" Emily told us.

A few hours later, Bella was discharged from the hospital. Carlisle—it disgusted me to say his name, but heck, I respect him more than Edward—gave her an asthma inhaler just in case she had light attacks.

Charlie gave Bella the 'okay' thumb when the pack asked Charlie.

"Wow, your guys, Jacob?" he asked an hour ago.

"Yeah, they're freaks." I said. Charlie just laughed at me.

"Jacob, do we have to stay out late?" Bella asked, bringing me back to the present. She rode on my back. We were running towards Emily's house.

"For your sake, no. I'd have to bring you home early as what Charlie said." I told her. "Your bag is up and tight back there?"

"Yep." She replied. Her bag contained her medicine. It wouldn't fit in her pocket so she brought a tiny backpack with her.

When we got there, the boys were on the flat screen watching a baseball game. Emily and Leah were in the kitchen cooking something up. Seth wasn't really sure of what he's doing from the looks of it.

"Hey guys." I waved as I entered. They looked at me and Bella—who was still on my back like a baby.

"Bella!" They chorused and then laughed boisterously. Today, Bella was their lovely toy. It was a private joke. The objective was to make Bella blush as much as possible.

"Okay, little monkey," I said as I yanked her arms away from my neck. "Time for you to get down." I carried her in my arms then set her down.

Bella took her inhaler from the bag and sprayed the formula in her mouth. "Just making sure." She smiled. She took my hand and led me to where Seth sat.

I noticed that we weren't complete. Quil and Embry weren't here.

"Where's Quil and Embry?" I asked. "I thought I told them to lay back patrol for tonight?"

"They ran off for a while to check the perimeters. We're not supposed to neglect duties." Seth explained then chuckled.

There wasn't much to do in Emily's home. Bella just helped Emily and Leah cook a large batch of food while we howled while watching the game. I heard from Emily that she taught Bella how to cook corn muffins, my favorite.

She was able to cook a dozen of corn muffins; just to test what she learned. It turned out well. I told her I loved it. It was actually better than Emily's cooking, to be honest; but I didn't tell Emily that.

Quil and Embry returned after two hours, the look on their faces worn out. They had a look that spelled, 'there was something wrong'.

"What's wrong?" I asked the two of them. Their faces were suddenly alert. I sensed danger. "Paul! Turn down the volume for a while." I shouted over the noise.

The whole pack surrounded Quil and Embry, sensing the same danger.

"David found out about you and Sacha." They whispered lowly, trying to avoid Bella's attention.

They were too late. She heard it all. Her hand that was on my back fell to her sides but the smile on her face was still there.

"What about Jacob and Sacha?" She asked enthusiastically. The silence in the house dawned on her as she realized everything.

"David fought with Quil when he knew." Embry said as Quil held out his bloodied arm towards us. "It's not so serious now, though."

"Oh damn." I managed to say as I pressed my forehand and thumb on my temples, my eyes closed.

I looked up as I heard the door close with a bang. I looked up and tried searching for Bella. She's gone. I chased her outside.

"Bella! Bella, please let me explain!" I shouted over the heavy rain.

"Get away from me Jacob! Just get away from me!" She screamed back. The tears flowed relentlessly on her cheeks.

I hugged her in the rain but she struggled to let go. She couldn't let go. "Please," I mumbled in her ear as I trembled—fighting back the anger. "Let me explain."

"No!" She kept pounding her hands on my arms but I didn't let her go. She stopped and cried. "Even though I don't know who this Sacha is, I don't want to know!"

I never wanted this to happen. Not in a million years. Not ever.

How could I? How could I hurt her? She was right, I was a monster—a monster with no heart. That fact would never change—the fact that I was a monster and I did not deserve her love.

"Bella, please," I begged. "Listen to me. Just for a moment." I could feel the break in my own voice. She struggled as my own tears started to fall. I let her go and she went her own way.

"Take me home!" She said as another realization dawned on her.

"Let me explain first." I pleaded again. I knelt on the wet ground and took her hands but she yanked them away.

"I want to hear it." She said angrily, finally agreeing to listen. "I want to hear your pathetic excuses, Jacob."

"Bella, I was drunk." She snorted at my reason. "I was drunk. I didn't know what I was doing. Please, Bella, I'm telling you the truth."

"When did this happen?" She said through her teeth. I stayed where I was, knelt on the ground, asking for her improbable forgiveness.

"During the getaway," I said, defeat present in my voice. "Bella, I know that—"

"Shut up, Jacob! Just for once, please shut up!" She screamed, anger and pain coursing through her being. I felt the same. I didn't want this. "I shouldn't have trusted you. . . you're just the same as Edward. Both of you just didn't want me. So what? You _used _me? Was I a shiny toy for you, Jacob, huh?"

"No, Bella! You've never been like that to me. If only you could understand what I feel for you. . ."

"Now I understand, Jacob. I'm just like a petty Barbie doll. Playing with me one time; when you get tired, you'll leave me on the cold floor. Is that what I look like to you?"

"You've never been like that for me, Bella."

"Then tell me, Jacob! Before I burst into hysterics, tell me!"

"You're my sun, my universe, my everything. That's a laconic answer, I know, but there's truth in them. Believe me, Bella." I told her, defeat and worry filling me. Pain, sadness, anger, depression mixed in my being.

I bowed my head as I waited for her yelling to continue but there were no sounds but the raindrops. I looked up and saw her head bowed, eyes closed, tears streamed down her cheeks.

I sentenced her to my embrace and this time, she didn't pound on me.

I wanted to hold her forever in my arms. I wanted to hold on tight to her and let her go. I guess I was just foolish to think that it will ever happen. The time that was left for us was now gone. She wasn't mine anymore. She will never be again.

Oh what have I done?

"Please take me home, Jacob." She said calmly, shivering in the cold. I stood. She looked up to me, feeling the sense of goodbye in her eyes.

I nodded and placed her on my back. We strode silently away towards Bella's house. The trip was silent, neither of us speaking.

Guilt and pain consumed me. I couldn't put them in words. I felt useless now.

I placed Bella on the ground when I reached her place. I've hurt her so much that I could barely look at her. She stomped on the ground heavily, heading towards the door. She opened it and stood there for a moment, facing me.

More streams of tears fell from her eyes as she shouted, "Leave me, Jacob." She slammed the door shut.

Those three words stuttered in my head like a tape playing over and over again. It broke me into fragments of glass.

I could hear Charlie tell her, "What did he do to you, Bella?" Charlie looked out the glass of their door, glaring at me. He saw nothing but the boy who hurt his daughter.

"Nothing, Dad." Bella said. I could hear the sobs in between as she spoke. There were slamming of doors here and there.

I couldn't take this anymore. I turned around and ran towards nothing. It was useless. Nothing was worth living for. I've lost my chance and there was nothing left for me to do. What was left was to die. I wanted that so much right now.

At least death was peaceful but I'd still be in pain knowing that I've left the biggest part of me on Earth.

I phased, ignoring the thoughts that my brothers in my head. I ran towards nothing. I ran and ran until the power in me was gone. I ran and ran until I could no longer remember Jacob Black.

**AN: Tell me what you think, alright? Side comments are highly appreciated. Any thoughts on Jacob? **


	26. 25 I Just Want To Die

One gunshot was all that it would cost. Just one through my chest and this would all be over.

I sat on my bed, thinking of things that could distract me. It was a sunny day today but my own personal cloud shoved it away; my own sun was absent to make the clouds go away.

The throbbing in my chest continued, the hole sucking everything in me. Life, love, and reason were lost. Nothing's left but agony. Is it possible that everything the opposite of happiness is in me? I thought about it. Yes, it's possible. It's happening right now isn't it? That oughta be some living proof now.

"Jacob, what's wrong?" Billy asked as I went out of my room and closed it with a slam.

"Nothing's wrong." I said through my teeth. "My life is actually perfect, Dad. Thanks for reminding me." I went outside the pouring rain and phased. I'd lost Bella, (technically, not yet but still . . .) I'm not going to lose my pack now.

_Jake. _Embry said.

_Embry, _I thought. _Tell Quil, Sam and Seth to go on patrol right now. That goes the same for you. _

_Okay, Jake. _

I circled the forest with caution. I ran slower. I was careful in keeping myself together. As for now, I'm successful. I would have to worry about tomorrow and the remaining eighty four years in front of me before my death.

_Jacob, _I heard Sam say as he phased. _Are you alright?_

What a question. _Yes, I'm still alive. _I said sarcastically. _Just go on patrol. The usual spots assigned._

I heard nothing more from them as they patrolled. There was nothing to talk about like before. Instead of their voices filling my head, it was emptiness' turn to do so. I wonder how long this will go on.

Patrol was flowing nicely when a too-sweet smell entered my nose. It could only be one thing: a bloodsucker. I winced at the smell of it and searched around to see if it they were around. It was one of the Cullens' scent when I sniffed it for analysis.

_What are you doing here on the borderline, bloodsucker? _I thought if ever it was Edward that was present.

"I just thought I'd drop by." The leech said, appearing in front of me.

_So are you happy now? _I thought sarcastically. Was he here to torture me some more? I'm already in the state of torture. I didn't need more of it.

"About what?" He said, cocking his head to one side. Stupid leech.

_Do I really have to tell you what's going on or are you stupid now to not use your powers? _I wanted to screech at him.

There was a moment of silence as he searched my head. "Ah," he finally said, breaking the silence.

Ah. _That's a really helpful response, leech. _

"What do you want me to do, then?" He said through his teeth, irritation visible in his features.

_Forget it. Never mind. _I told him.

"I knew that she'd find out one day," He suddenly said. "but I didn't think it would be this soon." He added.

_So you _are _happy. _It wasn't a question. It was a matter of fact.

"No, I am not. I'm not happy because Bella's upset."

_So you're saying, _I gulped. _That this is my fault?_

"Well, technically, yes. You are at fault."

_That's great. Really great. Thanks for reminding me, bloodsucker. _The throbbing in my chest made itself present again. It hurt more because it seemed that my heart inflated. Soon enough, it was going to pop.

"I feel bad for you too, Jacob."

_I don't want to hear your sympathy. _I thought and ran away from him. He never followed me—good.

_Jacob? Is that you down there? We need to talk. _A familiar voice said. It wasn't the pack, it wasn't David either. . .

Sacha.

_What do you want? _

_Slow down, Jacob. Please. We have to talk. _

_There's nothing to talk about, Sacha. _

_I'm sorry about you and Bella._ She seemed laconic in words. It didn't feel like she was sorry at all.

_Don't remind me, Sacha. I've inflicted enough pain on myself and on her already. Don't make it worse. _

_I'm sorry I ever did that to you. _She said, trying to catch up with me. I bolted faster until my speed was out of reach for her. _But I still have something else to say. _

_What is it? Make it quick. _I growled. I didn't feel the need to talk.

_David is mad at you— _

_Isn't that kind of _obvious?

_Yes, but there's more to that. _I let her continue, sensing the fear in her thoughts. _He's really furious with you. In return for what you did, he's decided to hunt Bella and hurt her himself. He thought that since you inflicted pain on him through me, he planned on doing the same for you. _

_Then why didn't he just come for me? What if something happens to Bella, Sacha? Who would I blame? Myself? I've already got a lot on my plate!_

_I'm sorry, Jacob. _She said, hurt filling her words. _I honestly tried to stop him since I _was _the reason for all of this but he reasoned things about you. I couldn't stop him. . . . _

_Do you have anything else to say? _I asked. I wanted to speed out of here and go to Bella's house. She was going to be in harm. No, she was gearing towards harm right _now. _

_He. . . He saw Bella leave your home last night. He followed her but I don't know where. I couldn't hear him when he was past Port Angeles. _Where the hell was Bella then?! Oh man, oh man.

Anger coursed through me causing my temperature to go up. I would kill that David no matter what it took. I would find Bella then kill that wolf. No matter what, I would find him.

I leapt towards the forest, screaming profanities in my head. I needed to go right now.

_Sam? Sam! _I called, impatience trapping me. _Take over the pack!_

_What? Where are you going? _He asked, digesting my conversation with Sacha.

_I'm going to find Bella, it's obvious, Sam. Read my mind. _I growled. Anger continued making its rounds inside of me.

_You should let some of us come, Jacob. You won't be able to find Bella with you all alone. What if. . .?_

_I've had enough of the what-if's, Sam. I'm going whether you guys like it or not. You're taking over Sam. _I thought, broadcasting my news to the whole pack.

_Jake, wait! _Seth said in my head. _We'll help. _

_No, stay out of this. This is my problem. I'm going to be the one to solve it, alright? You have to understand. I'm not sentencing any one of you to death. This is between me and David. _

They were all silent. Did I realize now what will become of this in the end? Death? Death only needed to choose one of us and I'm crossing out Bella. I was alright with dying. In fact, it was the only gift that I'd like to get.

"Jacob," Someone stopped me in my tracks. I didn't need these kinds of intermission. Bella's life was hanging by the moment!

"I'll make this quick, Jacob." Edward said from behind a fir tree. "You have to let me come with you. I'm not letting this wolf hurt Bella if—"

_No! _I phased back because of my worried state. I wanted to express my emotions using my mouth now.

"Jacob, consider this. If you're planning to kill this David, you can't do it alone."

"What part of 'no' can't you understand, leech?" I spat at him.

Strings of profanities began circulating in my head. Edward looked like he was thinking of another way to do this with me. I don't want him to come along whatever happens.

"Alice," He mumbled. "Alice can't see what's going to happen but even without her gifts, Sacha already told you what was going to come. Alice had seen Bella driving to Alaska, though I don't know why she was heading there but that's where she's headed."

For the first time, I'm thankful. At least I'd know where to search for her in the world.

"Jacob, take my car, please. Since you won't accept my help, it's the least you could do." He said, pleading. Bella's lifeline was as important to him as it was to me.

"No thank you, Edward. I don't want to let the smell stick to me. I'm thankful though. It's been a lot of help but please, just let me go. Bella's life is at stake here and I'm pretty sure you understand it more than I do." Anxiety and fear coated my words. I was in such a hurry I could barely do anything slowly.

I left Edward without waiting for his response and just went the direction towards Alaska. Where was it? North? South? East? West? North.

There was no use going on foot so I phased again. As I got out of the borders of La Push, I heard the howls of my brothers. Their howls contained the worry that I had. Their howls were enough to keep me going.

I howled into the burning sun—not caring about who could hear it—as I got past the borders of my own home towards the lurking dangers that waited for me.

**AN: Jacob's just not stable anymore, is he? We're nearing the end, people. So tell me what you think! :D Do you like it? Will Jacob be able to save Bella?**


	27. 26 Runaway Love

**BPOV: **

Liars. Supernatural liars. Edward and Jacob are both liars. Edward left me with an aching hole that could never heal. I thought that Jacob, my best friend, would be able to patch up the hole with me as I progressed. I was wrong, though. Jacob ripped my heart more; the ragged pieces throwing themselves away.

Is it possible that everything in this world is not normal? Is it also possible that all supernatural phenomena are evil and heartless? I am starting to believe that they are both true.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I remembered last night. How could I afford to hurt Charlie again? After such a long time was I able to gain his trust again but here I am, breaking it again.

_But you had to, _my other Bella said.

It was nice to have her back again. Back when I was on my way to losing the grip I had in myself.

_You're losing yourself too much, _she whispered. _It's not like the time before. . . _

Well now is a little bit different now, I snapped. I'm sorry that you never had a chance to counsel me when I was with Jacob.

_I never wanted to know, regardless. You seemed happy. _

Alright, was all I could reply. My heart throbbed again, unable to stop itself.

I was at Alaska now; the crack of dawn evident on the mountainside.

Jacob entered my mind all of a sudden, a wave of anger washing up on me. How could he? When I had relied on him so much . . . My hands gripped the steering wheel harder as a new wave of anger surged through me.

"_. . . just get away from me!" _I remembered yelling at him in the pouring rain.

"_Did he hurt you?" _Charlie said as he banged on my door.

"_N-no. . ." I stuttered. "I broke up with him." _Lie. It was better that way.

"_I thought you liked him?" _

A feeling of déjà vu overwhelmed me. Those were the same words Charlie had used when. . . when. . .

_Bella! Eyes on the road!_

I swerved to the right to avoid the car that almost hit me. I felt my heart beat speed as well as my cheeks burning with either worry or embarrassment.

I pulled the truck to the side of the road and turned the ignition off. I felt the stream of hot, wet tears spread down my cheeks and cloud my vision.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I mumbled to no one.

Edward left, Jacob's gone, Charlie's hurt. What do I have left? My pride? As if I even needed any of that.

Why did this happen to me? All I needed was to know why then I'd be alright. I want to know why destiny was playing with me heart. Can't it simply play with everything except my heart? Kismet seemed to ignore my wishes.

I gathered myself and stopped the tears from falling. This is ridiculous. It's over, it was done. I should move on. It was probably good for me, moving on.

"Love what's good for you, Bella. Love what's good for you," I mumbled to myself.

I looked up and wiped my eyes. The clear figure that my eyes first touched was unbelievable to the point of insanity. I blinked twice, trying to see if what I'm looking at exists. Hard as I might try, my eyes did not deceive me.

There stood beside the trees a woman of pale color. She was not human, I thought, for she had the palest of skin colors, red lips, gold eyes, and blonde hair.

Rosalie? What was she doing here?

She stared at me with wide eyes as I instinctively got down from my truck to talk to her.

"Rosalie?" I called.

She turned around and headed towards the forest. I ran after her, calling her name a few times. As I was entering the forest, I saw her standing a hundred yards away.

When I was but ten yards away from her, she warily said, "Please. Do not come any closer."

This was not Rosalie. How could se not be Rosalie? This vampire (I didn't like saying it in my head) looked so much like Rosalie. If she wasn't Rosalie, then who was she? It couldn't possibly be. . . I'm sure it's not. . . Tanya?

As I took a closer look, I could see that she wasn't totally blonde. Her hair is strawberry blonde, just like what Edward said before. If she was Tanya by any cost, then she would belong to the Denali clan—the Denalis who've tried the Cullens' way of life.

"Tanya?" I prompted without thinking. "Tanya Denali?" I said as if I knew her.

If I wasn't mistaken, her eyes twitched; twitched with disbelief. She held ultimately still, as if my mind would fail in recognizing her. Her mouth pulled down the corners and her eyes aged with what I believe was restraint.

"How do you know me?" She spoke lowly. I wasn't sure if that's what she said. "Who are you?"

"I. . . I'm. . ." I trailed off, distracted by her expression. "I'm Bella Swan." I looked towards the ground and looked up, meeting her eyes.

I was hoping that maybe she knew me from Edward since. . . since. . .

Was she smiling? Why? She's supposed to kill me now like most vampires do. What is he smiling at? Recognition? The restraint in her eyes never disappeared but peace suddenly overwhelmed her.

"Ah," she said, rubbing her arm. "Bella. Edward's. . ." She said as she trailed off and looked at me sympathetically.

"That's me." I forced a smile. She laughed a silvery laugh.

"Why are you here, Bella?" She asked, breathing for the first time since we met. "Ah, I should not come so close to you like Edward mentioned before."

"That's probably a good idea."

"What brings you here, Bella?" She asked again.

"It's a. . . it's . . . a bit complicated." I admitted.

"I'm sure I can keep up." The hair on the back of my neck stood, the sense of déjà vu came back. "I have got a lot of time."

I told Tanya everything that happened starting from the unexpected party at Emily's. With every sentence I finish, I seem to feel more attached or close to her. And with every nod she does, the hint of restraint left her eyes little by little.

"Ah, I'm sorry to hear such, Bella." She said, standing a few feet from me now.

"It's alrigt." I say then look up as I see her touch my cheek. It was wet. "Oh crap, I'm sorry. . . I never should have. . ."

My heart suddenly exploded into pieces, the holes now gone and replaced with ragged shards of emotion. As I remembered everything that happened last night, I can't help but cry. Life, love and reason teased me, wanting to be chased; I knew inside me that I'll never be able to catch them.

"Bella," Tanya called. "Why did you think I was Rosalie?" She said, patting my hair.

Was she distracting me? "Well, you looked exactly," I said, emphasizing on exactly. "Like her. I could barely tell the difference." I admitted. She chuckled.

"Not exactly," she giggled. "Rosalie isn't one of my favorite vampires; mind you, I am in good terms with others except for her."

"I'm not surprised." I said, feeling the least bit better. "She's not much of a friendly person to anyone either recently."

"When you say 'recently'. . .?"

"I mean, last year."

"Oh." That seemed to clear things up. I was the cause then. I was the cause of Rosalie's bitterness towards everyone. I suddenly felt guilty. Tanya didn't seem to sense my change of emotion. That was good.

She chuckled. I was feeling a little better with Tanya around. Maybe because of what she is, I thought. She glanced down, reading my face. I quickly looked away, my cheeks going scarlet with embarrassment.

"Come on," She told me, tugging my arm. "I'll take you to our house."

"Wait, why?" I was caught off guard. Me? Live in a vampire's house. I don't have a problem with it, really. It just felt. . . different. I barely knew them.

"You don't have anywhere to stay, I assume?" She was right. Coming here was uncalled for. I didn't have any idea as to where I'd stay but I wasn't relying on Tanya either; I have never even thought about it.

"Yes, but. . ." she tugged my arm once more, pulling me faster into the forest. I felt like I was flying rather than walking. "What about my car?"

"I'll carry it later."

"Wow. Vampire strength." I mumbled.

Tanya chuckled. With that, everything just seemed to calm down. Why did I have to feel this way? Being attached to her was bound to have its karma. It was wrong, I tried to tell myself.

"Really, I can't stay at your house. . . mansion." I replaced as soon as I saw their house. It was a home, yes, but it wasn't a house. I was a mansion.

That home was bigger than the Cullens'—much, _much _bigger. I breathed a sigh. It was white like theirs and it had a homey feeling just like the Cullens'.

Tanya pushed me through the open door of their house then called out names.

"Irina? Kate?" After a split second, two vampires came right in front of us and startled me. They were beautiful, I thought for a while. One had pale hair and as straight as corn silk. "These are my sisters, Bella."

"Hello," both of them said without breathing. How hard this must be for them. . .

"Hi. . ." I said, covering my face with my hair.

"Dear Bella is Edward's mate. At least, before, she was." I could feel Tanya flinch in fear as she said those words. I immediately felt a little blue.

There was suddenly one thing that made me irritated towards Tanya: she mentions Edward too much. I didn't mind, though, because Tanya is already doing me a kindness, a great favor.

"Carmen and Eleazar are not around, I'm afraid." One of Tanya's sister said. I assumed that she was Irina. "They left when you were out hunting."

"Ah, that's alright. They will be back soon. They don't hunt that long."

Tanya led me to a room that was beyond any interior designer's dream. The room was wide and spacious and filled with mirrors. The room had a kind of Victorian feel because most of the furniture was of antiquity. There was a wide bed, half of its framework made of what I think is gold. The dresser was of the same material. I think that everything in the room was of the same material.

"Tanya," I mumbled, amazed of the sight before me. "_wow._"

"It's nothing, really. It's just a guest room. We experiment with this room every now and then." She gestures for me to enter. "OK. So you're staying here until you decide to go home. Stay as long as you like." She smiled and then left the room.

I positioned myself on the bed and just let my thoughts wander. One, the room was very nice especially the bed. Second, I don't have clothes. They're back in my truck. Third. . .

I woke up to the sound of wolves. They howled in my head loudly as if they were just right beside me.

I looked out the window and was dissatisfied with it. It was already late in the night. I could tell because the moon was high up in the sky. I tried hard to listen to the wolves in the forest but I couldn't hear anything anymore.

The silence stretched on and on, nothing but the sound of cicadas and insects filling the air. Maybe it was only a dream. Maybe it was just in my head.

I suddenly missed Jacob. How is that possible? He's hurt me and yet I still love me.

Screw this. Screw what I said this morning. Screw the fact that I have to love what's good for me. I'm not listening to myself anymore.

I turned the light on and searched the room. I wasn't searching for anything in particular but I suddenly felt the urge to do so. I saw my bag at the corner of the room and a tray of food on the dresser.

I suddenly felt hungry. I took the plate off the tray and took the fork. I speared a piece of shrimp and placed it in my mouth. It was delicious. Even if it was cold, it was delicious. Hmm. I'd have to thank Tanya later.

The food on the plate disappeared in a matter of minutes. I stood and proceeded outside to search for a bathroom. I passed the staircase when I suddenly heard a crowd of voices below. I edged nearer the staircase, hoping to hear something.

I didn't mean to eavesdrop or anything but the dialogue of the Denalis were a bit of a shock.

". . . Edward might be looking for her. . ."

". . . What are you planning to do?"

". . . Tanya, is she still sleeping?"

". . . a werewolf for a boyfriend? That explains the wet dog smell."

". . . ex-boyfriend, if I may correct. . ."

Crap. I rushed to my room as I heard them talking about me and Jacob. I somehow disliked people talking about Jacob and me being together. Before.

As I closed the door of the room and sat on the bed, I felt the my finger weigh a bit heavier than the usual. I suddenly realized that I still had Jacob's ring on my finger. I looked away, trying to hide the tears that wanted to fall. In the back of my head, my ring was like a neon sign telling me to look at it. I refused to hurt myself some more. I took of the ring and placed it on the dresser. I turned the light off.

I tried to sleep again even though I've just waken up. My sense of happiness ebbed with my consciousness. I could feel sleep pulling me under.

"Such a shame that you placed it here and not on your finger." I opened my eyes as I heard Tanya speak. She turned the light on. She stood beside the dresser, looking at the ring.

"I've decided not to wear it." I said plainly.

"Bella, I know that werewolves are our enemies. I'm regretting that I'm saying this on behalf of Jacob but Bella, Jacob's also human. He didn't mean to hurt you." Tanya's soothing voice made sleep within reach.

I closed my eyes and exhaled. "I know that he didn't mean it. There are just some things that are unforgivable when it comes to relationships." I forced the words out as I felt sleep really pull me under.

"Of course, what do I know? I've never been in a real, human relationship, where everything is warm, uncomplicated. . ."

"Tanya, if you don't mind, I'll just doze off for a while. I'm sorry. . ."

"No, it's alright. Good night, Bella." Tanya touched my arm and exit as I heard the door close in a small creaking sound.

I was human. My feelings are nothing but human—nothing special, nothing new. The pain throbbed in my chest, a new wave of holes punching through my already-Swiss-cheesed heart. I felt my heartbeat in my ear as I tried to pacify myself with the use of sleep. I gave up and just let the wave of sleep reign over me as I tried to forget the man I love: Jacob Black.

Or at least I think I used to.

**AN: So? Comments? Suggestions? Violent reactions? Time to speak up! Haha, it's almost the end. I've written the first chapter for the installment of STUCK. :D**


	28. 27 The Denalis

**BPOV:**

"_Please let me explain. . ._"

I woke up to the chirping of the birds outside my window. As I opened my eyes, the morning sunlight blinded me. I rose from the bed and sat down, thinking through things. It was a bad idea, I thought. Recalling everything made things worse. I remembered the holes on my heart, my endless tears and the howling of the wolves last night.

I hid my face in my hair even though no one could see me. I felt the tears flood my eyes, attempting escape. I closed them shut.

I have to focus on other things. There are birds chirping, my fast breathing, and the quite howling of the wind as they danced with the trees. Apart from that, there was nothing else. Is it possible that there aren't enough sounds in the world? That was impossible. I wanted to hear . . . wolves howling.

My eyes flew open at that thought. Why would I want that? My attempt at loving the good disappeared. I should never try that again.

"Good morning, Bella." I jumped, frightened of the silvery voice. I looked towards the door and saw Irina leaning on one side of the door, looking at the ring on the dresser.

What was with these Denalis? Did they have a knack for rings?

"Good morning," I said as I followed her gaze. I suddenly had the urge to pick it up and place it back where it's supposed to be.

_No, _my other Bella's voice whispered.

"Would you like breakfast, Bella? Carmen's cooking something downstairs." I sniffed the air and smelled the scent of honey-cured bacon, ham, and burger patties. Irina chuckled at my act.

Irina grabbed me by the hand and pulled me outside the door. It was as if she was the one who was excited in eating. I eventually hurdled down the stairs, afraid of skipping a step and tripping. When I jumped the last step, I landed with a loud thud. Beside me was Irina, doing the same but landed with grace similar to a feline's.

When we reached the kitchen, I saw Kate and Tanya. Kate was staring out the glass door, Tanya had a book in her hands.

"Bella, this is Carmen." She gestured to a beautiful woman who was cooking the delicious food. She waved, a spatula in her hand. "Eleazar, this is Bella. Bella, Eleazar. Eleazar, Bella." Irina gestured to Eleazar then back to me.

Siobhan was watching the television blindly, obviously not paying attention at all. When he looked in my direction, I felt a sort of fear. He was quite scary when I took in all of his features. He had black hair and olive tones in his skin just like Carmen. His forehead was creased, as if he was looking for something in the dark. Upon the sense of recognition, his features showed peace and calmness. He smiled at me and gestured for me to sit beside him on the breakfast nook.

I took my seat beside him when suddenly everyone in the room seemed to surround me. Carmen handed me a plate of food. The plate overflowed with food, it was too much for my appetite.

I picked my food a few times, letting the heat escape before I placed it in my mouth. I speared a small piece of ham and placed it in my mouth. It was mouthwateringly delicious. Before I knew it, the plate was empty. My stomach was full of food that I could barely stand.

The Denalis chuckled as I attempted to stand but only to lose equilibrium. I felt like I was holding onto dear life as I held the edge of the counter. Kate helped me stand, one hand on my arm.

"Thank you, Carmen. That was delicious." I said thankfully. "I think I'm going to take a walk outside." I added.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Irina suggested.

"Ah, sister," Tanya clicked her tongue in disapproval. "That's not such a good idea."

"You're thirsty, Irina," said Eleazar, speaking for the first time. He had a hoarse but clear voice. "What if you decided to hunt?"

"All right, all right, I get it." Irina exhaled, raising her hands as if in defeat. "I won't come. I am a bit worried about Bella, though. Didn't dear Edward say that she was very fragile and breakable. . .?"

"Irina," I huffed, stopping her babble about Edward. I hope I hadn't offended her. "I'm alright. I'm okay. I'll be careful, I promise."

"Well, if you are sure Bella." Carmen said in motherly tones. "You are free to go."

"Thank you, Carmen. Thank you Siobhan, Kate, Irina, Tanya for letting my stay here." I turned and headed towards the guest room.

How could she think of the same way about me? Irina, I mean. Why did she believe Edward about me being very fragile? Did I look like it? Wasn't I sturdy enough? If that was so, then I must've had a very hard time fighting for my life all these years.

I wasn't irritated with her or the Denalis. They were very helpful, I can see that. And for that, I am gracious. Maybe I was just having such a hard time being around vampires nowadays. I haven't been around them for quite a long time now.

I caught myself off guard. Why should I care? I shouldn't.

My mind wandered as I walked absently into the forest. I stepped on a few leaves which made me think there was someone with me. Was I craving company? That's very naïve.

Without my own will, I turned left and entered a small meadow. It was somehow similar to the meadow in Forks. Suddenly, images and memories flashed in my head. It blinded me mentally.

"_Are you afraid?" Edward asked, cautious. _

"_Yes."_

"_Good."_

"_I'm not afraid of you. I'm only afraid of losing you. . ."_

"_This is why we don't show ourselves in sunlight. . ."_

_. . . like a million diamonds. . ._

_. . . his face . . ._

"_. . . as if I needed any of that. . .!"_

"_. . . you can outrun me. . ."_

My reverie stopped short as I involuntarily paused. A heavy throbbing in my heart started, the holes aching again. The more throbbing it did, the more holes it created. What was the solution then? Was it by making my heart dormant forever? My train of thought came back to me as I sensed a sort of danger overwhelm me.

Here in this meadow? There couldn't be any possible threats in this meadow. It was safe, it was untouched. Maybe it was even unknown to most people. I could stay here forever. At least I could break down and let my heart throb. No one would see me and no one would care. . .

A howl broke the silence of the morning. The howl was an angry one, I could feel it. The hair on the back of my neck stood.

Oh no. Oh no, no, no. Did Jacob's pack follow me here?

Anger suddenly coursed through me as I thought of Jacob's pack—or one of them—being here. Why should they care about me and Jacob? It wasn't their problem.

The howling continued, it was almost earsplitting as I heard it come closer and closer. The trees in the north shook and after a few seconds, the scariest monster I've ever encountered slowed towards me.

A gigantic, chocolate brown wolf came through the fringe of trees. The wolf's features weren't friendly at all. Its teeth were bared and its body was crouching, ready to spring. This was not one of Jacob's brothers, I told myself.

Who was this then?

The brown wolf's eyes sparked with recognition and suddenly returned to the thick forest. The trees shook again. I released a sigh of relief as the disappearance of the wolf dawned on me. No one will ever know that this happened. No one, not even the Denalis, should know.

When peace came over me, it suddenly evaporated like water.

There was a very tall man walking towards my direction, a perfect poker face present in his features. He had fair skin, and cropped hair. His hand was in his pockets. He stopped a few yards from me and looked at me up and down.

"Ah, you are Bella?" The man asked with an Italian accent. How did he know me?

"Yes, that's me." I mumbled, feeling lost in my own voice.

"Forgive me. I'm guessing that you have never met me." I shook my head in agreement with his statement. "I am David. Leader of the Italian wolf pack."

I felt like I was slapped. Another wolf clan? Why didn't Jacob tell me about this? Another wolf pack, I repeated in my head. How could there be another wolf pack? It was impossible. Or at least I think it is.

"We reside near Volterra, Italy but I need not tell you the specific details of our pack. I'll get straight to the point—the reason why I stand here before you.

"You see, your dear Jacob is the reason of the greatest problem in my entire life. He's had an affair with my Sacha. Sacha, my girlfriend. I know what you are thinking, Bella. I know that she is not my object of imprint but I do refer to her as one. At least, I wish she was. If you still don't get it, I suggest that you think about it like your relationship with Jacob."

"I'm not with Jacob anymore." Disbelief coated my voice. Another wolf pack? Sacha? Jacob? Girlfriend? All these questions circulated in my head.

David threw me a smile. "That's good. That would be more convenient."

"Convenient?"

"You didn't think I'd let little Jacob get away with it, did you? I'm not incompetent." A sort of frenzy flamed in his eyes as he said these words.

_What? _My other Bella whispered. _Bella, run away. Run away NOW. _

I prepared, mentally, my plan of escape but when I was actually going to act it out, my knees buckled. I couldn't walk. I was stuck.

"I came here as a favor for poor Jacob."

Sudden shock came rushing through me. "What are you going to do?" I blurted out without thinking. Like I even need to know.

My knees shook, my hands turned cold, and my breath became labored. I couldn't move, I was frozen here. Make a run for it, make a run for it, I repeated in my mind. My mind was dysfunctional right now.

"Oh, I'm still thinking about that." He reached for his pocket and produced a small, black object.

It was a gun. I was going to die.

"Just shoot me," I told him. "I don't deserve to live anyway. Just kill me."

David rushed towards my direction and pointed the gun towards my chest. I was ready to die right now. The pain in my heart silenced. My mind was at peace, I was calm. I welcomed my death with open arms.

The gun was near my chest, I could feel it. I could feel its closeness and its satisfaction once it has speared my heart for the final, gaping hole. A hole that can never heal, a hole that will make my heart dormant forever.

"Any last words, Bella?" he whispered in my ear, pointing the gun directly to my chest and fingers on the trigger.

_Jacob. I love you. Jake, I love you. Jacob Black. . . I forgive you. _

I waited for my death to come when I suddenly heard a sound louder than the crack of thunder. It was not David. The gun was still near my chest.

I opened my eyes only to see David's dumbfounded expression. It was if he can't believe the sound either. He looked to his right, his eyes widening in disbelief. I followed his gaze and felt my heart beat again for what seemed like a long time.

There in the meadow was a tall and giant wolf. His teeth was bared, showing the white, dagger-like incisors. His eyes were filled with different emotions. It was big, russet wolf.

Jacob.

**AN: OKAY. 27****th**** chapter is up up up :) Tell me what you think :D**


	29. 28 Fresh Blood

**JPOV: **

I was afraid of this day. I was afraid that this ever happened. I was afraid of how this would all turn out. I was afraid because Bella just stood there, a gun near her heart. The trigger could be pulled anytime now.

My eyes mirrored the fear that was in Bella's eyes. I needed to act quickly. I had no time to waste.

I growled loudly at David, staring at his bewildered expression. His eyes grew aware and suddenly, he came back to life. The anger in him seemed like it was going to tear him up. His breathing became intense, his eyes shooting daggers at me.

Bella stood in front of David, looking at the russet wolf that she didn't want to see. Her expression was unreadable; different emotions set on her face. I couldn't even pick out one.

David ran the opposite direction, running as quick as he can. I followed him and ran towards him. He needed to pay. I passed Bella; she was a mere five feet away from me. Her breath caught, she was unable to breath. She took the inhaler from her pocket and pressed the hard button. She inhaled it but nothing seemed to happen.

I turned my attention to David, who was but waiting in the woods. I growled and ran towards his direction.

He wasn't human anymore. He phased. His clothes were on the floor, strewn. David launched himself at me and bit whatever part was in his reach.

I launched myself at him, biting into his neck. I let my anger take over as I fought with David. He hurdled himself at me, pushing me down onto the floor. I rolled over, rocketing our bodies towards the meadow.

Bella was staring at us, her eyes were scared. Scared for what? I thought.

_Bastard! You bastard! What are you doing here? _ I screamed at him. We continued to roll over, letting our teeth sink in each other's bodies.

_You're calling me a bastard? Who the hell started this in the first place? It was you, Jacob! _He plunged himself at me but I was able to escape. I nearly hit Bella but the wave must have been too strong for she fell on the ground, banging her head on the ground.

I growled at David. _Don't bring Bella in the conversation, David! This is between you and me, wolf. _

_What do you call yourself? A _saint? _Well, I know saints don't mess with another man's girlfriend. _

_I said nothing about being a saint! _I bit his leg, blood spurting out.

_You shouldn't shag some girl you barely know! Even if it's single or not! _He thought angrily. He bit my neck and I could suddenly feel the rush of blood.

I ran to the right, where my clothes are. I phased in the crowd of trees and placed my clothes on. I could see David in the meadow going the opposite direction.

Bella was just standing there, dumbfounded. It looked like it was too much for her. She looked shaken.

I could feel some liquid pouring down my chest. I looked down and saw the blood smearing itself on my shirt. The wound was healing, the blood that was flowing lessened.

Disregarding the awful wound, I ran towards the meadow again—towards Bella. I had to see if she was okay. When I reached her, I grabbed her shoulders and shook it. No response. She was in shock.

"Bella? Bella, what's wrong?" I asked frantically, looking where David disappeared.

I shook her shoulders some more, not knowing what to do. Her eyes were transfixed on something ahead of her but no one was there, nothing was there.

"Bella, talk to me, please! What's happening to you?" I looked into her eyes and saw the fear rushing through it.

For a moment, I thought she was going to faint. Her eyes closed for a while then fluttered open as if she was stabbed in her sleep. She looked around her, absorbing what just happened. I stared at her, disbelief covered my face. I was getting impatient at waiting for her to speak.

"Jacob?" She asked, worry coating her voice. Upon full recognition, she hugged me tightly. "Jacob, you're alright." She suppressed a sigh.

Sigh. I missed her so much. "Yes, I'm alright." I kissed her hair, inhaling the scent of her. "How's your head?" I added as an afterthought. I stroked her head—caressed it, even.

I broke the contact so that I could look at her. Her eyes were no longer feared nor angered at the war. It was peace that surrounded her now. She thought it was all over. She thought that David ran away.

She knew she was safe. She knew it was done but I know it still isn't. I embraced her again, feeling the softness of her skin and her company that I've missed for so long. I felt her peace but she didn't feel mine. It was good.

I heard a ruffle of sounds on my right. It wasn't over. It was just beginning.

I looked at my right and saw David in human form. He was holding a gun in his hand, anger immensely filling him. He had the gun pointed at Bella. I turned Bella around so that the gun was pointing me now.

The thoughts in my head swirled as I waited for my death—or Bella's—to come. Either way, I didn't like any one of us dying.

David stood a few yards away from us now, waiting for me to let go of Bella so he could shoot her. I wouldn't let her go. Bella pulled away from me, looking up at me as she sensed David's presence in front of her. I would've thought she was nervous but she wasn't. Calm was on her side.

He smiled at us evilly as Bella distanced herself from me. I hated this. I was a magnet when it comes to Bella. I couldn't stop my gravitation towards her but somehow, I couldn't find my feet. I hated the fact that I was leaving Bella unprotected when death was standing right in front of her.

Suddenly, I felt a sort of want for what David was going to do. I want to be the one to die for Bella.

One gunshot for me. Just one then I'd be happy.

He held the gun tightly in his hand, fingers locked on the trigger. "Any last goodbye's to Jacob, Bella?" He asked with a sarcastic smirk on his face.

She didn't answer. Her heart beat was slower than mine. Wasn't she at all nervous or conscious that death was in front of her?

I didn't think that all of this would end this way. I didn't think that I get to live while the love of my life doesn't. It wasn't fair at all.

"Well?" He prompted, a set of impatient features present on his face. He was probably irritated that Bella said nothing at all. He gripped the gun tightly, ready to launch the trigger any second now. A wave of panic crushed me.

One irritating moan was let out by him After that, time began to slow.

He pulled the trigger, the bullet coming out. Next, the sound like a crack of thunder echoed in on us. I quickly looked at Bella and saw the sudden shock covering her features.

It was coming closer now; the bullet heading towards Bella's chest. Another wave of panic surged through me. It wasn't supposed to end like this for Bella. I won't let it.

"No!" I shouted out loud. I could feel the adrenaline rushing through m veins. Pain, panic, everything came crashing down on me.

I quickly dashed to where Bella was, shielding her from her undesired death. After that, everything suddenly stopped being slow.

Something entered my chest,—I could feel it—crushing some of my bones as I listened. I held onto my chest, keeping myself from falling apart. Something felt wrong; I looked at my hand as it signaled itself erroneously.

There it was. The proof of my dying existence was evident on my hand. The bullet struck me. A wave of horrible pain shot through me as I crumbled on the wet, damp ground. The pain was crushing me, chasing my consciousness away.

"Jacob! No, Jacob! Stay with me, I love you. Stay!" Bella cracked, tears flooded her eyes and poured down her pale cheeks.

_I'm here, _I wanted to tell her but I felt too weak to speak. Consciousness slipped way from me as the rain continued to consume me and pull me under.

My eyes closed shut going against my own will. I struggled and struggled but nothing happened. I fell into a black gaping hole that no one but pain could hold. I fell deeper and deeper until I could see nothing but darkness.

**AN: Cliffy there. Sorry if it was kinda short. Mind to review? Tell me if you're on your seat hanging on. Yeah right, as if that'll even happen. :p Review! Thanks :D**


	30. 29 Slow Death

"_Yes? Whoo!" _

"_Jacob! Sit down, someone's going to want to know what's happening."_

"_What part of 'I don't care'. . ."_

"_. . .aren't you so aware that you're with Bella?. . ."_

Beneath all the darkness that surrounded me, I could still hear everything—everything in my head and everything that happened in reality.

"Jacob! Oh God, oh God. Stay with me. Jacob, Jacob, can you hear me?"

_Yes, _I wanted to tell her. _I'm alright. I'm still here. I love you. _

My chest pounded with hurt. There was a force pushing my chest down but that was bearable. The only thing that was unbearable was the painful, stinging sensation inside my chest. It wanted to rip my heart open, a fire spreading through the center of my body.

I wanted so much to turn away from this pain that I'm feeling. I could see nothing but darkness. I looked down but I could see nothing, not even my own body. Was I fading away?

No.

I held on to what I thought was my last hope and that was Bella's voice. I could thrive on her voice for days without ever having the chance of letting go and fall into the gaping hole. I didn't know what was in the gaping hole; I didn't want to know either way.

Bella's voice was the only thing I was holding on to now. I didn't know what to do if I never heard it anymore.

"Jacob!" Bella cried. I felt another pain on my chest, as if I was being punched.

"He's not coming back anymore, Bella." I heard a rough voice say. David.

Bella didn't reply. I heard a rough sound and realized that she was panting.

"What's wrong, Bella?" David asked in a mocking voice. I heard the puffing sound that Bella's inhaler usually made.

"Get. . . away. . . from. . . me. . ." She said at irregular intervals. I heard puffs and sprits near me.

Bella was having an asthma attack. That was not good. No, no, _NO! _

Streams of profanities went through me as I heard Bella's panting quicken. I held on to the edge of sanity, the suspense making it merely bearable.

"Poor Bella's having an asthma attack." David's gruff voice interrupted. He didn't seem concerned at all. I wanted to growl at him but I couldn't find my mouth. "Poor Jacob too."

"What. . . do you. . . mean?" Bella said, puffing and puffing more medicine into her mouth (I would know, it usually happens.)

"Jacob's not going to make it alive, you know." David's voice traveled from left to right, an annoying voice in my head. "A bullet through his heart won't help him in surviving."

I felt drops of moisture on my forehead. Bella's panting disappeared, sobs taking its place.

"Stay with me, Jacob." She begged, her voice near my ear.

David let out a loud growl followed by a mocking laugh. "Accept the truth, dear Bella. He's not going to survive."

I could feel Bella's aura reach mine instantly. For a moment, I could feel what she's thinking and not feel what she's feeling. It was almost as if I had access to her thoughts. I didn't know why but I suddenly could.

My hand gripped firmly on the solid object that kept me on the line of consciousness. My hands were getting tired, my fingers weakly holding on.

I can't give up. I would hold on for Bella. I would hold on because she relied on me. Right now, I suddenly wished that I'd wake up so that I could attend to her suffrage.

Bella's breathing hitched and caught a few times. I instantly longed for her cold hands in my mind; I longed for Bella. I needed her. It felt like she was the only remedy to this death threat that I faced.

"N-n-no." I heard Bella mumble. It was like she was freezing. I heard a loud thump beside me followed by shallow breaths.

"I don't believe that." A voice said, a musical voice. It wasn't Bella's nor David's. My teeth clenched together automatically.

"I don't _believe _this." David said, disbelief evident in his voice.

"Well, grasp the fact, _mutt._" Wait. Mutt. Only one person would ever say that. I knew that that velvet voice sounded so familiar. Edward. "That's right, keep running."

David was running away? I listened closer, figuring out if he really did go away. I couldn't hear anything. Apart from Bella's rough breathing and Edward's velvet voice, there were no other sounds.

What is that leech doing here? If he came for Bella, then I'd be alright with it. Take Bella away, just leave me here. I'm already on my way to death, the road's just up ahead.

I hit another wall of pain, making me wince in horror. _Just let me go, _I asked the angel of death. _Just let me enter peace. _

"Bella, are you alright?" Right. What a nice way to disregard the dying. Sometimes this leech could be heartless. Not that I care anyway.

"Jacob's. . . Jacob's been shot." Bella's voice gave away different emotions. Anxiety, worry, and disbelief. I would go with the last one.

"We'll take him to a hospital. Right now. Both of you." I could feel the panic in his voice. Bella's worry was much too evident. She's always been a bad liar.

I felt cold hands on my back and air being waved into my body, almost as if I was being carried.

What the hell? I struggled and struggled. . .

No. No, no, _no! _

My hands are slipping from the only thing that I was holding on to. My hands were suddenly slippery from underneath, my hands wanting to let go.

No! I should hold on. I can't let go. I can't let go of my life yet. I regret it! I regret saying that I wanted to die. I regret saying that I'd rather for Bella.

I kept swearing to myself the exact opposite of everything I believed in, as if someone would grant me my wish.

With one unwilled movement, my hands let go of everything. I fell deeper into darkness. Unconsciousness took hold of me, making me hear nothing but silence. Voices of Bella started circulating around me, one over lapping the other as if death was near.

Was this death, then? I've heard a lot of people saying that death would come easy but in my case, I wouldn't believe that. This was all full of pain; the only comfort I've thrived on was Bella's voice.

"_I love you. . ."_

"_I'm not going to ask you to marry me, Bella. You can breathe. . ."_

"_A relationship, huh? . . ."_

"_Jacob! I love you, stay!"_

"_. . . just go away!" _

"I love you, Jacob. You're going to be alright. I know it." I heard Bella whisper in my ear.

Everything crashed into my heart as I knew everything was right before my eyes. After that, I heard nothing. My senses were gone. I couldn't feel my body, my lips, my ears; I couldn't feel _me. _

At least Bella was alright. I'd take a thousand deaths just for her to be safe. I loved her. Nothing was going to change the way I feel about her. _Nothing_.

I welcomed the darkness as I fell deeper. Even though the silence was deafening me, I welcomed it. All I had with me was my mind.

I love you, Isabella Marie Swan.

Then nothing. I'm gone.

**AN: I think that was kind of lacking. I had a bit of writers' block when I was writing this. I've been suffering for almost two weeks. **

**Anyway, nothing makes me feel better than reviews! I love reading them and they're the remedy for Writers' Block and Dark Days :) SO, review! :D**


	31. 30 Hysteria

**BPOV: **

"She'll wake up soon." I heard a small, musical voice say. "In about a minute."

Where was I? I can't remember anything.

"Forty-five seconds."

I could hear my rough breathing. What happened to me? Where am I?

"Thirty seconds."

My heart pounded beneath my chest, as if it wanted to dismember itself from my chest. I felt a wave of pain crush me as I breathed in and out. Did I pass out?

"Fifteen seconds."

I tried opening my eyes but couldn't. I couldn't find my eyes. I can't feel my arms, my fingers, anything. Was I dead? But why am I hearing voices?

Oh no. I _am _dead.

"Ten seconds."

"Alice, shut up." I heard another voice say. It was a familiar, velvet voice but I couldn't bring myself to think of the name. It was almost as if my mind was blank with amnesia.

I remember blood, wolves, trees, Edward, inhalers. . . Jacob.

"Jacob!" My eyes fluttered open but the first thing my eyes saw was not Jacob.

There were cream walls surrounding me. There were plants, machines, and vampires. _Vampires. _Suddenly, it hit me. I was in a hospital.

I saw Alice and Edward standing at the foot of the bed, looking at me with worried eyes. No, they looked at me like I was crazy.

"I told you." Alice said, breaking the silence. Edward sighed and came near me.

I avoided his gaze and continued to search. Where was Jacob?

"Where is Jacob?" I asked with a hoarse voice. Edward handed me a glass of water and I chugged the water down in less than five seconds.

I couldn't remember anything about Jacob. I just remember his worried face, David and a gun—a gun that had a bullet with my name on it. Shouldn't I be dead, then?

Alice looked at Edward with frantic eyes. Edward sighed and nodded at her, taking my hand in his. I pulled it away, I felt uncomfortable with his cold hand in mine. I sighed impatiently, I was waiting for an answer.

"Jacob's in the operating room." He had his head bowed. "Don't you remember anything?"

"What did you do to him?" I said through clenched teeth. I didn't have time for this right now. I stood from the bed, removing the IVs even though I winced in pain. "What did you _do_?"

"He didn't do anything, Bella." Alice chimed in, positioning herself in front of me as if to stop me. "He was shot."

Shot? By who?

I know this. _I know this._ There was blood, guns, Jacob, the forest, the Denalis. Who shot Jacob? Realization suddenly dawned on me.

David, the leader of the wolf pack in Italy. He shot Jacob.

"Where is he?" I swung past Alice and opened the door of the room, alarm filling me. As I opened the door, I saw Carlisle standing in front of me.

Jacob must hold on. He can't die. I won't let him die.

"I'll lead you to him, Bella." Carlisle offered his hand and I took it. We darted off into the hallways.

_Jacob, I love you. Jake, forget our fight. Forget everything, just forget it! I love you. _I screamed, wishing he could hear my thoughts.

"What happened to me?" I asked Carlisle as we ran. "Why can't I remember anything unless. . ."

"You had an asthma attack, Bella. We don't know why but your level five asthma attack came with a slight amnesia. You can't remember anything unless you think about it thoroughly. Maybe it was because of the trauma." Carlisle had no difficulty in keeping up with my slow speed.

We turned right then entered a hall with doors leading to different operating rooms.

"Is Jacob alright?" I prompted again, forgetting whatever he told me about my attacks.

"I don't know, Bella. I've been operating in there for more than two hours. He's losing a lot of blood. I don't know if he'll survive. I believe, though, that he can survive if he wills it. Ah. . . operating room number twelve."

My knees buckled beneath me. What did he mean, "I don't know if he'll survive" and "if he wills it"? I'm sure Jacob doesn't want to die. He's going to hold on. But what if he doesn't? What, he's going to die? NO!

We entered a white room with another door and an enormous glass window beside it. I stood in front of the glass window and saw the operating room. There were different equipments all over a massive object that the doctors were operating on.

That massive object was _Jacob._ I couldn't see his face, only his body. There was a pool of blood on the floor and an open patch on his chest. There was a machine by his head which showed Jacob's heartbeats.

Carlisle put on a green operating jacket over him. He placed a mask covering his nose and mouth; he had a sort of cap that surgeons usually wore to keep hair away from the face. He looked at me one last time and nodded before taking off into the operating room.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God." I muttered to myself.

"It's going to be alright, Bella." Startled, I looked to my right and saw Edward hovering over me. He held my hand tightly and gently squeezed it. I didn't pull my hand away this time. I needed someone to keep me in line with sanity.

"Can you hear his thoughts?" I frantically said. I clutched my hair when tears suddenly ran down my cheeks.

"I can't see anything, I'm afraid. His mind is full of nothing but darkness." He said in a dark tone. I looked up at him but can't see him clearly. My tears were in the way.

"What if he doesn't survive this? How am I going to live with that?" More tears streamed down my face. Edward wiped it away with his free hand.

"Come here." He motioned his one arm towards me and embraced me.

I buried myself in his chest, seeking comfort in him. I was glad. I was glad to have Edward here. At least my sanity was still here when he was near me.

A loud beeping sound made me break our embrace. I looked towards the surgeon in the operating room. Their movements were suddenly frenzied, moving back and forth. I saw one surgeon hold a fragment of the bullet and place it on a pan. The beeping continued again and this time, the voices of the surgeons—including Carlisle—could be heard.

I looked at the machine. I felt as if I would faint.

There it was, the lines going down, little by little forming a flat line.

"No! No! Jacob!" More tears flooded my eyes as the green lines continued forming itself into a straight line.

He can't die. No.

"One-forty!" One surgeon shouted across the room. The surgeon placed two metal objects near Jacob's chest causing it to rise.

I looked at the machine again. Nothing. Nothing changed.

". . .two hundred!"

". . . two-fifty!"

". . . two-seventy!"

There it was. My life was slipping away. I wanted to die right now. I wanted to die with him. If he died, I don't know how I could live with it. I was oblivious to that fact.

"Three-hundred!" I looked at the machine again. Jacob's body rose violently but nothing happened. The lines were forming little mountains then flat lines again. They were doing it repetitively.

"Can't we do anything?" I pounded Edward's chest, refusing to accept reality.

When I heard the sound I dreaded in my life, I felt my world crumble. There on the machine was a flat line. It was a long flat line that went on and on, refusing to form any other sign of life. I waited for some miracle to happen but heaven seemed to shut its door on me.

The line went on and on. The long, sound of death rang in my ears. I dreaded this. I hated all of _this. _

Jacob is _dead. _

The idea of him gone was like air taken away from my lungs. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't find the energy to keep myself standing. Most of all, I couldn't find the reason to live my life. Everything was gone. Jacob took everything with him.

"I'm sorry, Bella." I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Carlisle with eyes mirroring the sorrow that I felt. "We did everything we could."

"I know about his ability to heal quickly but this time, it was impossible for his blood to make his wounds heal. He lacked so much blood, making it unable for him to heal himself. His heart has a big hole which made healing the most difficult. The bullet hit tissues that cannot be healed even by most of his kind. I'm sorry, Bella." Carlisle said then walked out of the room.

I looked inside again, refusing to believe reality. One surgeon placed a wide cloth over Jacob's dead body. It was true. He is dead. He's gone.

I felt myself crumble on the floor, my hands in gripping my face tightly. A wave of hysteria filled me, taking my sanity away. I was turning insane, I could sense it.

Edward's hands clutched my arms, taking them away from my face. He looked at me solemnly, his eyes bore into mine as I stared at him weakly. He knelt in front of me and hugged me tightly. His gesture mirrored everything that I felt.

"I'm sorry," he whispered in my ear. "I'm sorry, Bella."

I couldn't say anything. I was dumbfounded. Suddenly, panic overwhelmed me. I disappeared from his embrace and found myself running towards the operating room where Jacob's dead body was.

My body crashed on the operating table, gripping tightly on the sides. I removed the cover and saw his beautiful face.

Even for a dead person, his face was ever so beautiful. His features seemed serene, like he was happy that he was set free. The only thing that was different was that his face was going pale and his temperature was dropping.

The anger in me suddenly welled. Jacob can't die. He can't. He's got a future in his hands. He's got a lot more to experience.

Tears flooded my eyes as my anger rose to the highest. My instinct was to call out his name and shake him until he made it alive again. But no, it wouldn't happen. He's dead.

_Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. . . _

The machine's flat sound rang in my ears. More tears flooded my eyes as memories of Jacob and I went through my mind. It was unfair. Why did he have to die?

_Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. . ._

Just stop! Stop with the sound!

I pounded on Jacob's chest with my hands, pounding it really hard just to stop the noise of the machine.

My hands balled into fists, the adrenaline coursing through my veins. I punched Jacob's chest fiercely, a little far from the wound (I might cause more damage than good.) The energy in me seemed to go higher every time I slapped my hands on Jacob's chest.

"Bella, stop! He's not coming back," Edward said as my hands punched Jacob's chest.

"Jacob! Stay with me! You're not supposed to die. You're not supposed to die!" I ignored Edward and continued pounding on his chest until my legs disappeared beneath me, making me sit on the floor.

"There's nothing you can do, Bella. He's gone." Edward whispered in my ear. Sorrow filled his voice. I ignored him, he can't change my mind.

_Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep . . ._

"Bella, please. Please come. . ." Edward's voice made me look up at him. He sounded distracted, like he was listening to something.

His voice silenced me, making me listen closely. There was silence, an eerie silence that felt out of place. After that, the sound I heard was gone and was replaced by something new.

_Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep . . . beep . . . beep . . . beep . . ._

**AN: Kinda funny and scary at the same time. OK! Tell me what you think. I love reading your reviews. :)**


	32. 31 Someone Please Give Me A Miracle

**BPOV: **

_Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . . beep . . . _

"Jacob?" More tears flooded my eyes. He's going to be alive. I know he's going to be. "Jacob!" I continued pounding on his chest, encouraging the death sound to ebb.

_Beep, beep, beep, beeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeep . . ._

"Stay with me, Jacob! Don't do this to me." I continued pounding on his chest, ignoring Edward's motion to stop me.

"Bella, stop!" Edward screamed but I ignored him. "He can't. . ."

"What? So now that Jacob is dead, you're trying to replace him?" I snapped at him. My hands stayed on Jacob's chest that was filled with blood because of the bloodied stitches. It made me want to throw up but I fought the urge.

_Jacob is important._

"No, I don't mean it like that." He said, forcing my hands to stop in its tracks. His voice made him sound like . . . like a _vampire. _"You're doing more harm than good!"

"Don't stop me! Can't you see it? His heart is beating already!" I shouted at him. More tears streamed down my face.

How could Edward be so insensitive? So cold-hearted?

_Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep . . . beep, beep, beep . . ._

My hands suddenly felt stronger, as if Jacob's beating heart kept it powerful. My hope began to rise. He's going to be alive. My hands continued pounding, this time harder.

_Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. . ._

My head rested on Jacob's stomach, relief suddenly flowing over me. Thank God, thank God, thank God.

I could hear Jacob's beating heart yet I cannot feel his chest going up and down. I waited and waited until I heard a door slamming. I looked up and saw that Edward had disappeared.

_ . . ._

The relief in my heart ebbed. Edward's right. I'm doing more damage. I can't do anything now. He's dead.

My head rested once again on Jacob's stomach, feeling nothing but coldness. After a few seconds, my heart stuttered, making it skip a few beats.

He's _gone. _

I crumbled on the cold floor and put my head in between my knees. I kept on repeating 'he's _gone_' as the sound of the flat lines filled the room. I began hearing sobs to realize that it came from me.

My head felt like crashing any minute now. All of our moments together circulated in my head. I wanted them replayed in my head so that I would forever remember it. For a moment, I felt like grabbing a knife and stabbing it in my chest. Silence filled me as the seconds ticked.

My mind was a haze.

_Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep . . ._

I thought it was my heart that was beating but it wasn't. Automatically, my head shot up. I'm imagining this, aren't I? I listened more closely as I snapped back to reality. I'm not imagining. It's true. He's heart is beating!

My legs hoisted themselves off the floor and my hands grabbed Jacob's arms. His warmth is returning, I can feel it. His skin was returning to the russet tone that I loved.

Jacob's chest moved up and down repetitively. He's _breathing. _He's alive.

"Jacob?" I lifted my head and leaned towards his face. The warmth of his breath relieved me as much as his beating heart did.

Jacob coughed a few times then his breathing suddenly pitched. More tears streamed down my eyes as I saw his eyes slowly fluttered open. His eyes narrowed for a while, after a few seconds his eyes mirrored recognition.

A weak smile formed on his lips and I smiled back. I suppressed a sigh of relief. It was over. My head landed on the base of his neck.

"Jacob?" I asked, disbelief in my own voice. "You're alive?"

"Doesn't it look like it, loca?" He hoarsely joked. How happy Jacob can be when he's happy. A smile played on my lips.

"You're alive!" I shrilled. "Oh Jacob." I hugged him, taking in his warmth.

_I love him, I love him. _

He's alive. The fight, _our _fight, is over. We can go back to the way we used to be. . .

Jacob suddenly looked at me with sorrowful eyes as I broke our embrace. He was thinking what I am thinking.

"Thank you, Bella. For saving me." He said, clearing his voice. "When we leave the hospital, I can go away . . ."

"Never." I answered at once and kissed him. I longed for his kiss. Even though we were no more than separated for three days, it felt like forever.

I know who I can't live without. I trusted myself now. I can't live without _Jacob. _

"You're never going away. Never." I whispered into his ear as I broke our kiss.

"I love you." He said with a hoarse voice. He reached for my fingers, playing with it, and held still where my—_his_—ring was.

"I love you too." I replied and kissed him again.

It felt different to have him again in my life. It felt different in a good way. Being without him was like having my sun collapse. My warmth was shut out and I ran cold. With only the cold to thrive on, I knew that I wouldn't last long until I died.

After pain comes contentment. After contentment comes everything good. There will be nothing to separate us. We're inseparable.

Jacob was feeling better now. It has been two days since the gratuitous miracle happened to him. He's still stuck here at the hospital in Alaska where Carlisle is taking care of him. The wounds in his heart have covered itself up, as what Carlisle said.

"Nothing vigorous for now, Jacob." Carlisle said, writing something on Jacob's record. "The hole in your heart is still a bit open. It's best if we don't stress it."

"I'm sorry?" Jacob asked. He's been polite for these past few days, probably grateful of his miracle.

"Don't do anything that would make your heart beat any faster. The hole would just grow."

"Oh, okay. Got that one, doc." Carlisle left the room, leaving the two of us inside.

I was still confined to this hospital too. After my really serious asthma attack, Alice and Carlisle couldn't stop bugging me about how I feel. They should be asking Jacob that one. I feel fine, not one hair out of place . . . I think.

I had convinced them that I was alright. At least that convinced them that I didn't need to be strapped to a hospital bed. But I did have an IV stuck wherever I went.

"That's just crap," Jacob sighed and placed his face in his hands.

"What's crap?" I stood from the chair and leaned over Jacob's bed railings.

"The thing about my heart; that I'm not supposed to do anything that makes my heart beat faster." He said with a frown on his face.

"You can skip patrolling for a while, you know. You _are_ Alpha and it's a valid ex—"

"I'm not talking about patrol, Bella. I know I can step out."

"Then what are you talking a—"

"_This,_" He said, pulling me into a tender kiss. He broke the kiss to whisper in my ear. "is what I'm talking about. It's too bad I can't do it. Often, at least."

"Oh. _That._" I said sarcastically. I smiled at him, making sure it mirrored every spark of love I had for him.

Someone cleared a throat, making us stop in our tracks. "I thought I said no. . ."

"Sorry." I mumbled to Carlisle. I felt my cheeks flame with embarrassment.

"You're so beautiful, you know that?" Jacob said, ignoring Carlisle. I thought he was nice. Maybe one kiss can break the spell.

"Shut up." I told him and laughed. He laughed along with me as well as Carlisle.

"Bella!" I heard a small voice say. I looked towards the door and saw Alice. She was holding two paper bags. She skipped to my side and smiled at us warmly. "Here. I wanted the two of you to have this."

Alice handed us two bags, one for me and one for Jacob. I took it, still slightly annoyed

because I still _do _hate presents. It was silent for a few moments until Jacob suddenly cleared his throat.

"You don't hate me?" Jacob asked with a smug expression.

"I don't, Jacob Black." Alice answered matter-of-factly. "To be perfectly honest, I am more annoyed at your scent but since I can tolerate it now, I'm pretty sure I'm ready to make new friends. And I find you a bit intimidating but I'm a tad used to it now. I have more annoying siblings, mind you."

"Bella, you didn't tell me that she chatters a lot." He told me, raising an eyebrow. I chuckled.

Alice punched Jacob's shoulder lightly. At least, _I _thought it was light. Jacob winced. I was imagining a purple spot forming on his shoulder.

"Sorry!" She squirmed then giggled. "Anyway, if Bella likes you, then so do I."

"Vampires." He sighed and chuckled. I was glad that he didn't prefer to use the term 'leech' or 'bloodsuckers' anymore. "Are you, what, her sister?"

"Kind of." She replied and giggled.

"My long-lost sister!" I shrieked dramatically.

"You're a bad liar _and _a bad actress. Are there more that you're not telling me?" Alice said. Jacob laughed, his shoulders shaking.

Alice chuckled along with him. "Alice, where's Edward?" The room suddenly became silent at my question. I could feel Jacob's narrowing gaze burn me.

"I. . . I don't know." She answered then shrugged. Her eyes displayed something that was only meant for me to see. "He's wrong anyway."

I suddenly forgot that Jacob had no idea about this.

"Wrong about what?" Jacob asked, suspicion present in his voice.

I thought about it a few times if I really did want him to know about what happened. It wasn't important to me anymore since I proved him wrong but I think that it may mean a lot more to Jacob. He may hate Edward a little more than he already does.

I exhaled sharply. I'm going to explain. "It was before you were revived."

"Jacob, this isn't really a right time to know. You're still healing." Alice chimed in.

"I want to know. I can take it," he snapped. "I wanna know what happened to that leech."

"Well," I whispered, I know he could hear me. "Edward kind of disapproved with what I was doing with you before you were revived."

I looked at him sideways but he was staring at me, waiting for more.

"I. . . I was pounding on your chest. More like beating. It was working though more blood escaped your stitches back then. Edward said that I was doing more harm than good. I snapped, telling him that what I was doing was working. I suddenly had the impression that he wanted me to stop because you were already dead and it can't be undone."

I swore that I heard his teeth snap together. His hand started vibrating but he calmed himself before the rest of him could shake and explode.

"He's heartless." Alice spoke.

"Of course he is. He's a vampire. No offense." Jacob said through gritted teeth.

"None taken." Alice coolly replied.

"At least he's gone." I nervously mumbled. His decrepit being was not within reach. "He's away. Right, Alice?"

"Y-yes." It was like Alice was unsure. I knew her. She is hiding something. "So are you going to open my gift or what?" She asked, her scared voice disappearing.

I opened my box carefully, aware of the edges, and pulled out a small leather backpack. I looked at her with puzzled eyes. Why in the world would she give me a small bag?

"It's for your hunting trips with Jacob." She said, answering my thoughts absent-mindedly. "I know that you have to bring your inhaler and stuff with you when you tag along with Jacob, so there."

For the first time, I loved Alice's gift. It was perfect. "Thank you, Alice. I love it." I said as I hugged her.

I pulled away and looked at Jacob to see him holding up a box of perfume. I chuckled.

"Very funny." He took a sniff and closed the lid of the perfume.

"It's to cover up that wet dog smell of yours." She chuckled then rolled her eyes.

"Alice." I whined.

"I was kidding! It'd be useful someday. I know that you won't accept a gift that contained clothes. It's not going to serve you right anyway. You're just going to tear them when you phase. So what's the use?" She said in a musical voice.

"Okay, okay! I got it! Just shut up. _Please_." Jacob threw his hands in the air and looked at me.

"It's alright, Jacob. You'll get used to her." I assured him. Jacob nodded and chuckled.

I went out of the room to get some food down at the canteen. Unfortunately, there wasn't any tray that was named for me when a tray of food was delivered, it was only for Jacob. He whined as he saw the quantity of food in front of him. To me, it was just right but for Jacob, it was equally lacking.

"Alice, please. It's driving me insane to know that you're hiding something from me." I told her as we rode the elevator towards the canteen.

"You know me too much, Bella." She laughed lightly and tossed her short hair back. "Alright, it's about Edward."

"I can tell."

"He's going to the different clans in the world."

"Why the _hell _would he be doing that?" I asked him. Seriously, what has gone to his head?

"Bella, I have no idea. I swear that I heard nothing from him as he ran out of the operating room that day. I called Esme and she said that Edward took some things with him then left without a word. She's worried sick, actually, if you're going to ask."

"This is all my fault." I blamed myself. I shouldn't have. . . no. I'm not supposed to be the one to blame. If I didn't do it then probably Edward would have killed himself out of guilt because of his mistake of stopping me. I can't handle that. I don't want him hurt but he probably is right now.

"It is not!" I shushed Alice as I saw heads turning to our direction. "Bella, don't you dare tell me that it's your fault. If it's your fault, Jacob would be dead. But it's not your fault and Jacob's not dead, Edward isn't to blame either."

"You're right." I said as I grabbed a whole tray of food. "I'm still upset that I hurt Edward."

"You're worried about that idiot?" Alice said in disgust. "Bella, don't waste your time worrying about him. He's just overreacting."

I paid for the food and headed back to Jacob. "You sound like you hate him."

"For now, I do. He's so heartless. He didn't even think about Jacob's sake. I've never seen him like that, honestly. Can't you see, Bella, that he's most prone to overreaction?"

"Now, now. Stop it, Alice. I'm sure he just needs to think about things."

"I guess you're right." We reached the floor where Jacob's room is. "Thank you, Bella."

"I don't see the reason of your thanks." She rolled her eyes and hugged me.

"Knock, knock." I opened the door to Jake's room and lifted the plastic full of food.

"Finally! I'm starving." Jacob rubbed his belly then hugged me as I went to put the food down on the bed table.

"Eat up." I told him. "You're going to need it."

**AN: Okay. We're near the end. Ugh, I hate Edward here. He's whiny. Sorry Team Edward! But it's true, right? Even in Stephenie Meyer's books, Edward overreacts most of the time around Bella. **

**And no, I'm not going to write anything in Edward's eyes. I think :p I'm not considering it, I'm sorry :) Tell me what you think instead! Maybe it'll convince me to write Edward's POV. **


	33. 32 My Happily Ever After

**BPOV: **

"Bella, you're grounded." I heard a gruff voice say as I walk past the door of my home. Charlie.

"I'm sorry?" My mind was in a haze because of the past few days. I'm dead tired that I can barely comprehend.

"You're grounded. You've been gone for more than a week with no contact at all. Don't you know that I can barely sleep at night? That goes the same for Billy. Where have the two of you been, Bella?"

I wanted to snort. As if Billy didn't know where Jacob went. I imaginarily rolled my eyes as I faced Charlie's deadpan face.

"I'm sorry, Dad." Was all I can say. I just really want to rest.

"Sorry won't cut it. Sorry won't take away the week of worry and late nights I've had." _Please_, I wanted to beg. Just leave me alone. I walked towards the stairs but Charlie blocked my path.

"Dad, you don't know what I went through," I snapped, suddenly wishing that I hadn't said anything. "Jacob has been shot by. . . by. . ." Tears fell down my cheeks but Charlie didn't hover over me.

"So you've been with Jacob?" His eyes narrowed and mirrored our malicious intentions.

"No! It's not like that, Dad! We didn't do anything." I heard him exhale. "He got into a fight with someone and that lead to him being shot."

Charlie doesn't sound so convinced at all. "Save your excuses for later. Get some rest."

I trudged up the stairs and closed the door. I just wanted to rest. When my head touched the pillows, I could feel my eyes droop. I let my eyes take over and let it shut out the rest of the world.

My eyes closed and an array of dreams entertained me.

I dreamt of Edward. In my mind his eyes were agonized yet angry. He stared deeply into my eyes with hatred that I couldn't understand.

"_Bella, how could you?"_

Tremors rocked me as I opened my eyes, escaping the dream. A fistful of anger coursed through me as I thought of my dream.

Does Edward really expect me to choose him over Jacob? After all the pain and hurt he's gotten me into, he expects a kind of return? I suddenly realized that everyone has been right all along, that Edward was overreacting to almost everything in relation to me.

I heard a light knock on the door and in came Charlie, ready for work.

"I heard you shout." He said a few octaves lower than before. "I figured that you would stir awake."

I couldn't find my voice. I just nodded. I was screaming?

"Dad, I'm—"

"Now, now." He said. "I called Billy last night. Turns out that Jacob was trying to protect you when he found out that you ran away. Billy said that one of the guys who held a grudge against him followed you. That's where your story comes in."

He was right. The story was right, although it was exclusive of the part that they were all supernatural beings.

"I'm still sorry." I managed to say. My voice was thick but with relief. At least Charlie knew the truth. Or at least half of it.

"And you're still grounded." I nodded. "I'm off to work. You're not going anywhere, you hear me?"

"Yes Dad. Be safe." Charlie closed the door and I was left alone with my head.

Echoing Edward's words knocked the soul out of me. It was almost as if his words reminded the ghost of the past that consumed me.

I've thought about a new way of forgetting him, it's called ignoring. I refuse to speak to him, to talk about him and to think about him. That seems a fair enough deal, isn't it?

My eyes glanced on the clock and saw that it was only five-fifteen in the morning. It was too early but I didn't want to go back to sleep. I was afraid that the dream might haunt me again.

"_Don't go away." _

I awoke to screams from inside my room. Consciousness dawned on me when I realized that the screaming came from my own mouth.

Why can't I seem to forget Edward? Was I consumed with guilt because of what I've done? Yes, I was coated with guilt.

But I shouldn't be guilty. If I had, then I would be sobbing even harder because Jacob's dead. I would have nothing right now if that happened. I knew in myself that if that happened, there was no possibility of me and Edward going back to the way we were before. It was impossible.

Jacob had become part of _me. _

It was inevitable. Living a life without him and moving on sounded like I just used him. I wouldn't want to be like that. I cherished Jacob. Even if he died, Edward would expect no love from me. None at all.

So is this what it feels like, then? To be bitter and guilty and selfish?

My mind threw me different questions but stopped when I heard taps on the window. I looked at my clock and saw that it was six-thirty. The sun was rising already but the clouds were overhead. It still looked like midnight.

The taps on my window continued but I knew it wasn't a tap. It was harder, like a rock being thrown at my window.

I stood up and opened the window. A black object welcomed me as I held the window open and hit me in the eye.

"Ow!" I shrieked in pain.

"Oh, jeez. Bella! I'm sorry. Lemme get up . . ." A rusty voice said.

I covered my right eye with my hand and peeked out the window.

_Jacob. _

Jacob climbed the trees in a blur and paused on my window sill. What was he waiting for? I suddenly realized that I was blocking his entrance to my room. I stepped aside and sat on the rocking chair. I lightly poked my eye, checking if it still hurt.

_Ow. _It's painful, damn painful.

"Damn it, Jacob." I muttered. "This is what I get for saving your life?"

"No, no. I'm sorry. Come here." He embraced me. He removed the hand covering my injured eye and kissed it. I could feel the hot sensation on my eye. It sort of burned.

"I prefer ice." I told him. He pulled away to look at me.

He turned for the door and headed out the door. "Where are you going?"

In a few seconds, he was back with a bag of ice. The ice water dripped onto the floor as his hot temperature melted it quickly.

"I'd rather you hold this. This'll be all gone in a minute if I hold it." He handed me the terribly cold ice. "Oh, here." He gave me a towel to wrap my ice in.

I placed the ice in the towel and dabbed it onto my eye. I let it stay for a few minutes. The ice was painful. The coldness stuck to my eye like dry ice. It ached in pain even after I've removed it after a few seconds.

"I'm going to throw a rock in your face someday. A big one." I mumbled as I rocked the chair back and forth, dabbing the ice back onto my eye.

"I'm sorry." Jacob kneeled in front of me and placed his hand in mine. He absently toyed with the ring on my finger.

"I thought there was still a hole in your heart?" I asked, changing the subject. I didn't know if I asked that in the literal sense or. . .

"It's better. I can feel it." He held my hand and pulled it to his chest. I felt his strong heartbeat. "It beats for you, Bella. It's whole when you're with me."

My heart suddenly felt like butter. It melted as Jacob's words mirrored the truth. It was no lie. It was the truth.

"Idiot." I said, breaking the seriousness in his voice. I can't take too much drama for now.

Jacob laughed and carried me in his arms. "Come here, klutzy girl." He lightly dropped me onto the bed and tucked me into the sheets. He laid down beside me, an arm draped over my head.

"I love you." He said before pulling me into a kiss. This kiss was different. It was warm and smooth, just like couples who used to be best friends. Well, that applied to us. We _were _best friends and we still are.

"I love you too." I whispered in his ear as he broke the kiss.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I truly am." Jacob kept explaining.

He's been explaining to me in the last thirty minutes about what happened at the getaway. I've got to admit that I was furious at first but I understand now.

I do realize that it was hard to forgive, that act of Jacob. There was just something in his eyes that made me realize that he wasn't lying. His sorry was sincere and that he truly regretted it.

"I promise that I will never do _anything _like that ever again. You have got to realize that it killed me, Bella. It killed me to realize what I've done."

"Jake, I understand. I get it." I placed a finger on his lips.

"Let me explain," he pulled my finger away. "I know you, Bella. You won't easily forget what happened. I know you.

"Yet for some reason, I know that you would forgive me. I'm not being a freeloader but I just had that feeling. That freedom of forgiveness doesn't mean that I could do it a thousand times and you'd still forgive me. No, it's not like that."

"Jacob, stop. Stop. Shut up." I told him and smiled. "I forgive you. I know you didn't mean it."

Forgiving him was what he deserved even if another hole simmered my battered heart. I'm more than hurt but I have to get over it. It was done and there's exactly nothing I can do to erase it.

Acknowledging that I had a problem with Edward and Jacob scared me. I had some kind of unwanted guilt towards Edward and Jacob had a stir of events in his. It burned me to the stake but I kept the flame intact and bearable.

I could forgive.

"I don't know how I deserved you." Jacob whispered. "Not when I should have died right there. I deserved it, Bella. You should have let me pay for my own sins."

"Just _shut up_." I kissed his nose and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Let's not push your luck, shall we?"

I laid in Jacob's arms for a very long time. I didn't care if Charlie saw us or something. He couldn't separate us, whatever happened. I didn't fall asleep anymore, not with Jacob's molten heat around me.

"Talk." He ordered as I asked him to remove the ice water from my eye.

"I feel guilty." I said at once, remembering the dreams I had of Edward.

"Why?" He sat and looked at me in the eyes. Worry coating his voice.

"It's . . . it's . . ." I hesitated, asking myself if I should talk to him about this. I gulped and readied my ears. "about—"

"Edward?" He spat the name but his eyes gave away nothing.

I nodded.

"Bella, is this about the heroism?" Jacob has been calling that moment "heroism" ever since I've told him about it.

I nodded again and gulped. I sat on the bed and held his hands. "Jacob, hear me out, please?"

I didn't wait for a response, I went on. "I didn't regret saving you. I didn't. I was glad—overwhelmed, overjoyed, happy, you name it—that I had done something to save you. I'm just covered with guilt.

"Jacob, I can't just ignore the fact that I hurt Edward. He helped us and I returned the favor this way? It's horrifying, cruel . . ." I landed into Jacob's chest, the stitches still visible. He patted my hair and kissed my forehead.

"Bella, it's alright." He shushed. Jacob's tone wasn't full of disgust as we talked about Edward. "Although I still hate to talk about that _leech_. . ."

Jacob looked at me, his eyes softened at the contact. He knew that I was being tortured by what I was going through. He knew it pretty well.

"I'm sorry. It's hurting you. I shouldn't have said that." He hugged me tightly to his chest and held my hand.

My eyes overflowed with tears. I felt my voice shake as I said his name. "No," I wiped my tears with my free hand. "I'm alright."

Jacob fell silent beside me. It was obvious that he was upset by this. Why wouldn't he be? It's Edward that I'm talking about. Maybe I should talk about us instead but that would be just useless.

"I have to be honest here, Bella. I'll admit that I'm not happy that we're talking about the lee—Edward. But I can promise you that I'm fully listening. We're talking about you here." Jacob said.

"Thank you," I whispered against his chest. "You don't know how much it makes me feel better."

"So what's your decision?" he asked lowly.

"Ah, I'm forgetting about it—everything about it. I thought about the opposite. What if that one happened? I would be nothing for the rest of my life." I said glumly.

"What opposite?" Jacob rubbed my arm.

"Jacob, what if you died? What if I did stop and listened to Edward? I would have been left alone for life. Edward won't be back in my life because I won't let him. I only want you, I only love _you. _So now I'm sticking to the decision of forgetting him if—"

"Bella, stop," he said as kissed my cheek. "This is a fairly easy problem. I doubt that you won't find a solution. Just remember that I'm always here. Here to catch you when you fall."

I sighed and wiped the last of my tears away. He's right. This _is _an easy problem. I could've faced something worse. I _am _a magnet for danger after all.

"That is, if you're falling more in love with me; I'll be happy to catch you." He laughed and I slapped my hand against his arm. I winced. "Ah, Bella. More damage than good."

"Jerk." I mumbled and kissed him. "You're doing more damage than good too."

"What?"

"You jogged. You're supposed to be in bed, right? Hole in the heart?" I reminded him.

"I _am _in bed, Bella. Let's not push through with the Jacob-you-should-be-in-bed-because-of-the-hole-in-your-heart lecture again, okay?"

"I meant in _your _bed." I said, ignoring his last sentence.

"Do you want me to go away?" his feet fell on the floor, trying to stand up.

I pulled him. My action suddenly seemed effortless, he laid back down on the bed as I pulled his suddenly light body. "No."

"Good." He said and kissed my forehead.

I couldn't ask for a better fairytale than this one. It was perfect. I had my prince in my arms. I didn't need a rich prince; I was contented with mine who was down-to-earth and caring.

As I lay here, I wished for all my troubles to go away. I wished that I could lay here forever with Jacob.

My heart felt whole and new. It was as if there were no holes punctured. Once upon a time, I was a damaged good, now I was remade until I came to be a working machine. It felt like a recipe for goodness. _Jacob _was the secret ingredient.

I felt good about everything now. My life was perfect. My happiness with Jacob drowned out Charlie's scolding, Edward's guilt, and the rest of my problems. All of it felt nothing to me. I was, for the first time in my life, truly happy. I felt like a kid in a fantasy world, only better.

Was this everything, then? Is this my story? My fairytale?

Once upon a time was now far away. I was able to breathe for the first time and pull my head out of the black water. This is my happily ever after.

I'm content because finally, _I'm not stuck. _

**AN: Ta-daaah! And it is now **_**done. **_**I can't believe it. The story's done. So can you **_**please **_**tell me what you think now? :) I hope you enjoyed. **

**Thanks to all my readers and those who reviewed! My reviewees rock! You inspired me to go on and write the story. Without it, I wouldn't have finished. :D**

**Review! I'm beggin' you now :)**


	34. 33 One Answer to Eternity

**AN: Surprise surprise! OK OK. I'll admit. This is the one last chapter. **

_A few months later . . . Christmas Eve, 11:52PM_

"I thought I said no gifts." I huffed as Charlie handed me a rectangular box.

"I'm sorry." He said sarcastically, not sounding sorry at all. "Come on, Bells. You get one shot at life. You only get one Christmas a year. Let's not waste it."

Charlie's wearing a knitted sweater, the one that Renee made in an attempt to create something useful. It's badly done, the sweater was the first one that she ever made. That would explain the wrong stitches.

Charlie's got a puppy dog face on and I feel like laughing at his expression.

"OK, OK. I'll open it if it makes you happy." I grabbed the gift from him and opened it carefully—the accident at the Cullens was playing in my mind.

When I opened it, I realized that I was holding a recipe book, an _Italian _recipe book.

"Wow, Italian." I said with mock sarcasm and looked at Charlie, who was standing beside Jacob.

"It's to spice things up in this house. I wanna see how good you really are with dishes." Charlie looked at Jacob and winked at him.

"Here, Bella. You've still got a few gifts under the tree." Jacob handed me one and gestured to the humongous pile of wrapped presents under the tree. He called it _few. _

"Jacob," I whined. "I didn't want any gifts. Especially not from you—"

"Relax. This isn't from me." I grabbed the box that was resting lazily on his hand and looked at the tag. It was from Alice and Jasper.

"But you did get one for me." I accused as I started unwrapping the gift. I looked up at Jacob and saw him standing there, expressionless. I rolled my eyes at him and he chuckled.

I moaned as I saw Alice's gift. It was a necklace. It was made of silver and black satin, there was a lion in the middle and an Italian engraving right below. There was a note in the box.

_Bella, _

_I know you would kill me if I gave you a really nice blouse so I thought that maybe a crest would do. It's the crest of the family. I just wanted to let you know that you will always be part of the Cullens. I hope you like it. _

_Alice and Jasper _

_P.S. I couldn't rein Alice in. Sorry, Bella. Merry Christmas. . _

_Jasper_

I looked up at Jacob and he just smiled at me. There was some sort of message on his face that I couldn't read.

The rest of the gifts were from the Cullens. Carlisle gave me a box of medicine which was for my inhaler, Esme's was a set of kitchen tools that I don't even have any idea of, and Emmett and Rosalie's gift was a pair of Ray-Ban wayfarers.

I wanted to laugh. Emmett and Rosalie's gift was kind of unnecessary considering the fact that the sun never shone bright enough to be able to wear sunglasses.

There weren't any tags on the gifts that claimed it was from Edward. It was all right. I didn't care.

Billy gave me a book about the Quileute legends. He made sure that the book didn't have a name that made Charlie suspicious about it. I flipped the book open and just sat there, getting carried away by the book in my hands.

. . . _werewolves . ._

_. . . all the way to the third wife who . . . _

_. . . the cold ones . . ._

"Bella," Someone cleared his throat. I looked up to see Charlie hovering over me. "Getting carried away by Billy's gift?"

I looked up from the book and got up to hug Billy.

"Thank you, Billy." I whispered in his ear. "This is wonderful."

"Take care of it, Bella. The book is part of the first batches distributed; all the way back to the 1910s when it was first printed. Although I think you might want to know some of the details from Jacob." He whispered the last sentence and then looked at Jacob.

"Can we eat? I'm starved." Jacob said a little too loud, avoiding my gaze.

"Sure, sure." I raced to the kitchen and placed the plates of food on the dining table. When I was done I called them. "Food's ready!"

Jacob came rushing inside the room first, obviously starving. Charlie and Billy came in last with the latter being pushed by Charlie. Jacob got a big plate in the dishwasher and instantly filled his plate.

"Jake! Leave some for them." I mumbled as I hugged him from behind.

"I can't stop. I've been running patrol the whole Christmas Eve." He explained, spooning a load of food on his plate at once. "Please?"

I let go and looked at him from the right. "It's a good thing that I learned how to cook in large batches. And it's good that the corn muffins that I made over there are going to fill you instantly, leaving no space for you to eat more. It might come in handy one day."

Jacob froze. "What are you saying?"

"N-nothing!" I stuttered, feeling my cheeks inflame. "It's not like with marriage or anything . . ."

"Ah," he chuckled and held my hand with his free hand. "Don't think of that."

"I know you'll meet your object of imprint one day, Jake." I laughed along with him but he was still frozen in place.

"No," he said harshly. "Never. All I see is you." He whispered in a soft voice. Jacob brushed his hand against my cheek, making blood rush in even harder. "Nice blush."

"Thanks." I smiled at him.

Charlie cleared his throat. "Bella, you gotta eat."

"No thanks," I patted my belly. "I'm quite full, what with tasting all the food."

He groaned. "_Eat. _I'm sure you're tired and—"

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" I heard a bundle of voices at the door. I almost jumped a mile with fright. Jacob laughed loudly.

Quileute boys.

They walked into the dining room, each of them half-naked. I hope they have a nice explanation for Charlie.

"Nice sweater, bro." Quil mentioned to Jacob as he grabbed one large corn muffin.

Jacob was wearing a Christmas sweater which Billy bought. They wore the same sweaters but Jacob looked better in it. It hugged Jacob's body, showing his sculpted muscles.

"Hah," Jacob snorted. "At least I still look good."

"Whatever," Paul chortled. "You still look like a funny little kid."

"I think he looks good in it." Emily said, appearing out of the blue. She held Sam's hand. "Don't you think so, Sam?"

Sam looked like he was slapped as he stared at Jacob's sweater. Embry waved a hand in front of him and suddenly, Sam laughed.

"Yeah, really good." Sam laughed boisterously.

"I think it's great. It looks good on him." I hugged Jacob from behind and whispered, "Don't worry, I'm not lying. You look _really _good."

"Thank you, Bells." He kissed the top of my head and inhaled deeply.

"OK! So help yourselves, guys." I motioned towards the table, which was overloaded with food. "I had a feeling that you guys would drop by."

"Alright!" They hooted and grabbed a plate. I got myself a corn muffin and nibbled on it, staring at the boys.

This was what it felt like to be one of the wolf girls. It felt really homey and happy. It wasn't empty and sad, it was like family.

"You throw a great party, do you know that?" Charlie waved a hand in front of me. "Cooking in large batches was a great idea."

Charlie looked suspicious of the half-naked boys. I had to speak soon before he could throw a question about it. I didn't have any excuses right now.

"Yeah, I did think that they were coming. They always follow Jake and Billy around." I said while I was staring at Jacob and nibbling on my muffin.

"Nice muffins by the way." Charlie commented and went back to sit with Billy. They were watching a game. "Aren't any of you freezing?" He turned his attention towards the bickering boys.

". . . hey! Get your own food!"

"Shut up and. . ."

". . . leave some for me . . ."

"Boys!" Emily's voice stood out. "Share!"

"Boys?" Billy spoke. As soon as they heard his voice, they quieted down. "Chief Swan wants to know why you guys are half-naked."

I could feel the tension in his voice. He would talk to the boys later about dressing codes. Or dressing in front of people who aren't aware of what they are.

"We actually brought clothes . . ." Sam said warily. I wound together my fingers behind my back, hoping that Charlie wouldn't pry.

"I was kidding!" Charlie suddenly laughed boisterously. The tension in the air suddenly disappeared. "Go on. Go back to eating."

Every one of the Quileute boys laughed weakly, Emily and I included. The coast is clear.

I realized that it was a bit crowded ever since the boys started bickering again so I decided to clear the gifts in the living room. They were scattered all over the floor, the torn gift wrapper in shreds. I threw the paper in the garbage can.

I grabbed all my gifts and went upstairs to keep them. I opened the door easily and placed it on the floor beside my bed. I would do the keeping later. I had a 'party' to attend to.

As I was leaving the room, I glanced around it again on impulse. As I was searching, a sort of sparkle caught me as my eyes fell on my bed. I instantly half-ran to my bed, almost stumbling in haste.

First, I was awestruck. I didn't know what I was for. I didn't even know how it got here. Who sent it here? I don't remember opening a gift that contained this gem. I also swore to myself that this was the first time I've visited my room since this afternoon.

It was a small, diamond heart. As light shone on the diamond, it reflected an array of colors. I took it from the bed and held it.

The heart was a sort of pendant. It was hard and cold. For a moment, Edward entered my mind. The heart was like Edward. He was hard as stone and cold—colder than ice, even.

A light, silky thread brushed my hand. My fingers caught the thread, there was a note.

_I'm sorry, Bella. Merry Christmas_, the familiar handwriting read.

Edward.

How . . .? Why . . .?

How did he get here? I thought he was traveling to the different clans?

My knees buckled and my feet failed to support me. I collapsed onto the floor, fresh drops of tears landing on the wooden floor.

The memory of Edward that I have kept away had suddenly sprung to life like a jack in a box. I knew myself better. I wasn't going to break down. But how could I not?

When I have kept myself intact and secure, Edward leaves a remainder of himself with me? I thought I had everything in control. What about the promise I've sworn to myself? Do I or should I forget it now?

More tears fell down my cheeks, soaking the diamond in liquid. I've got to keep it before anyone sees it.

Suddenly, realization hit me. He's been here just now. The diamond still had his scent (but I think it would since it could have been Edward's for such a long time. Maybe.) When Jacob froze, was it because Edward had entered my room?

"Bella?" I heard Charlie's voice at the door. _Crap. _

I quickly slid the diamond heart into the nearest drawer. I wiped my tears away and cleared my voice. I wasn't ready to face him with bloodshot eyes. My body stayed put.

"What are you doing over there?" He asked.

"I was fixing some of the gifts, Dad." I lied.

"Put that aside for the night, Bella. It's Christmas. Call your mother, kiss under the mistletoe with . . ." I felt the smile in his voice. I turned around, instantly glaring at him.

"I was kidding. Now come on, Jake's been looking for you downstairs." He heaved me off the floor and towed me towards the downstairs.

I would think about the diamond later. Right now, the people downstairs were important. They were important in a way that made me think that they were _family. _I mean, yes, they are my friends. I'm bound to them for life.

"Bella!" Jacob called out and carried me into his arms as he took me from Charlie. He sat me down on the couch while he sat down on the floor and rested his head on my leg.

Everyone watched the baseball game excluding me. I didn't want to watch some game on Christmas day.

Instead, I toyed with Jacob's hair with my free hand. My left hand was dangling by his shoulder, his fingers playing with it. He twisted and turned the ring on my finger.

I kicked his thigh. "Jacob, are you even watching?"

"Does my touching it irritate you?" He asked, referring to the ring.

"Just don't touch it. It's very precious to me now." I whispered in his ear, avoiding the shushing of the boys.

"Alright." He kissed my left hand.

The minutes droned on and on as everyone watched the game. The boys howled as their favorite teams were leading but I sat here silently, praying that something interesting would happen this day. Emily was probably feeling the same way. She is seated beside me and I could see from my peripherals that she yawns every now and then.

A sudden thought hit me. I forgot to call mom.

Automatically, I stood from my seat, making Jacob's head land on the couch's hard railing. He winced in pain as I ran towards the phone to call her.

"Sorry!" I shouted from the dining room.

I dialed mom's number and waited until the third ring before she picked up the phone.

"Merry Christmas, Mom!" I wailed over the telephone, making Renee laugh.

"Merry Christmas, honey." She replied back. "Having a nice time over there?"

"Yes. Jacob and his friends are here. It's really fun. How are you and Phil?"

"Glad to hear that. Oh, Phil and I are with his parents. We're celebrating Christmas here. They're really nice and welcoming. Bella, I'm sorry that I'm not there. I'm really sorry . . ."

I had to say something before she'd start babbling. "Mom, I haven't gotten all night but I promise that I will call you really really soon. I sent you a gift. I hope you like it."

"It hasn't arrived yet, I'll keep an eye open for it. Thanks, honey. You shouldn't have. Mine hasn't arrived yet, has it?"

"No, Mom. What is it? And why is Charlie's gift earlier?" I asked and sighed. No one clearly listened to me this year.

"You'll find out soon. Charlie's earlier because I started making it two months ago and finished when December came in."

"That would explain the size."

"Oh is it too small? Too large? I've got to—"

"Good bye, Mom. Have a nice Christmas day. I'll call you later in the afternoon when all the bickering boys are gone."

"Bye sweetie. I love you."

"Love you, Mom." And then the line went dead.

"Bella," a voice whispered in my ear. I felt my body tense. "Relax, it's only me."

I turned around and saw Jacob. His face was inches from mine and I saw that his sweater was gone; it was replaced by a white button-down shirt.

"Why'd you change?" I asked.

"Emily's glass slipped from her hand and the drink spoiled my sweater. She fell asleep." He explained.

"You're thankful?"

"A bit." He exhaled, like he was thinking of something gravely.

"What is it?" My fingers brushed his hot cheek. He reached for my hand and held it there. "Do I get my gift now?" I jokingly looked behind him to see if he was holding something.

"Bella," He whispered into my ear.

"Hmm?" I said, closing my eyes. Jacob let go of my hand.

"Bella, open your eyes." I did what I was told. "Your gift," He took something from his pocket and retrieved a square box.

My heart suddenly raced. I've seen it all in the movies. It was always a square box that contained . . . that contained . . .

I could be wrong. It could be a necklace or a bracelet.

Jacob displayed the box in front of me. I could hear the crowd entering the dining room, gazing at the commotion that Jacob and I shared.

They were all silent. I looked at Charlie and he was smiling. He looked like he was going to burst into tears. What was his part in this?

"Bella, don't jump to conclusions yet." I heard Jacob say. His voice was far away in my mind. I can't focus.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I love you with all of my heart." His voice echoed. "You are the only one that my eyes see and no one can replace the one I love. I know you don't expect this at the moment but it's no rush."

"I've asked Charlie and he gave me his blessings. Billy has agreed. All that's left to ask is Renee and your stepfather." He seemed nervous. "Bella?" he called. My heart felt like it was going to explode.

"Y-y-yes?" I stuttered. I looked around, avoiding Jacob's gaze. All of them were silent and attentive. They didn't look like they were going to interrupt. My eyes burned into Jacob's once again.

"I have all eternity to wait," I could hear the double meaning in his words. "There is no rush. I can wait for five years, ten, fifteen, as long as you want. But I have one request—one that will change us both."

My heart wanted to tear itself out of my chest; it dared to create a hole soon. I didn't know if I should cry or wail or laugh but this was _Jacob. _Why would I be afraid of him?

I love him. My love for him is what my heart beats for. Nothing else matters rather than Jacob.

Jacob kneeled on the ground, my eyes following his gaze. Now I really want to cry.

Tears welled up in my eyes. I tried pushing them back but couldn't. Fighting them back meant more. More would pour down if I stopped them. My mind was a haze. I don't know if this is reality or merely a dream but I wouldn't put this out as a dream. It was reality.

"Jacob," I whispered. He was smiling at me; his smile was different in a good way.

"Just one. One answer to one question and then forever. I'm yours forever. My pledge of lifetime servitude."

My heart raced and I could feel the pulse of fake adrenaline rush through my veins. My head is pounding, like my head suddenly had a plethora of blood in it.

Jacob opened the box and there lay the most beautiful ring I've ever seen.

It was a simple but beautiful ring. It was made of silver, with diamonds embedded on it. There was an array of colors on the ring—topaz, limestone, and pink and blue diamonds. It was perfect. The stones were distant from one another, in a way. Three bands of silver held the pieces of stone together. I never imagined such a beautiful ring in my life before.

The pieces finally clicked into its rightful place as my world suddenly turned around, positioning itself on the right angle. Peace and anxiety coursed through me.

My head spun as Jacob spoke.

"Will you marry me, Bella?"

**AN: OKAY! Surprise, surprise. That is really the end. Do you want me to post the picture of the ring? It's hard to describe the ring, actually. So I'd rather you guys see it. So, shall I post it? **

**Big thanks to everyone. Thanks for those who read and reviewed the story. I appreciate every effort you've made, big and small. Of course, as I've mentioned in most chapters, my readers and reviewers have made a very big impact in continuing this story. You've inspired me to finish. **

**I do hope you like it. If you do, you're going to want to wait for a few days. An installment is coming up. Promise you'll wait? OK? :)**

**THE END **


End file.
